FRIENDSTER PROFILE
from www.friendster.com
all times are pacific time,
as that is where friemdster goes by.

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Uncreative Part:::

First Name: Lancie Romañcie
Last Name: Romance
Gender: Male
Interested in Meeting People for: Dating, Serious Relationship (Women and Men), Friends, Activity Partners
Status: Single
Age: 24
Location: Providence, RI

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Creative Part:::

Hometown: www.GiantRats.com.

Occupation: Record Producer, Proprietor and Connoisseur.

Interests: I have addictions to pizza pie and to record recordings. I also enjoy dinosaurs, sweaters, and being healthy. How about you?

Affiliations: Schecter, Wheeler, PCD, MosesBrown, Classical, ALP, ACT, Berklee, Columbia, HiddenValley, ThayerSt, BrownBookstore, Ben&Jerry's, StereoDiscountCenter, OceanCoffee, CollegeHill, DailyBread, ToyJoy, UT Co-Op, Austin, Providence, Boston, NY, Anti-Folk, Olneyville, AES, BlackPanters

Companies: International Coalition Of Love And Friendship

Schools: I am a school.

Favorite Music: My record colection is nearing 4, 000 strong.

Favorite Books: If its got Alfred E Newman on it, its A-OK. Oh, and those Archie Double Digests.

Favorite TV Shows: BBBBBBIIIILLLLLLLLL CCCCOOOOSSSSBBBBYYYYY!!!!!!! BILL COSBY!

Favorite Movies: I hate movies. I think their stupid. But... i do like John Waters, Woody Allen, Alfred Hitchcock, Tim Burton, Walt Disney, Martin Scorsese and who ever made King Kong. That movie was awsome.

About Me: No, no. Tell me about YOU!

Who I Want To Meet:: Anyone who's gone through menopause.



[view all 5 photos]

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Testimonials Left For Lance:::


yoko, 04/04/2004:
Lance is the only person I know whose website is even more extensively archived than my own. I am thoroughly impressed by this gentleman. I too am glad that he has bestowed his friendstership upon me! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Elizabeth, 04/03/2004:
lance romance left a t-shirt at my house one time. i told him i'd send it back to him with some frans hamburgers, but then i sold it on e- bay for $404.22. thats the kind of profit that a friendship with this man can bring to you.

Carl, 04/01/2004:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO! How about 2:30pm at Ruffels??

Matt, 03/25/2004:
lance romance is going to be the next carly simon. i'm not kidding, he's THAT cool.

Alex, 03/17/2004:
what a beast

Anna, 03/13/2004:
lance romance: a highlight 1 syllable: chance, dance, france, glance, prance 2 syll: askance, break dance, by chance, clog dance, duran's, enhance, expanse, fan dance, finance, sand lance, war dance 3: at first glance, cash advance, copper glance, even chance, film advance, game of chance, high finance, in advance, refinance, song and dance, spark advance, take a chance 4: apache dance, hypnotic trance, patterned advance, religious trance, ritual dance 5 syllables: capital of france, interpretive dance 6 syllables: ceremonial dance, minister of finance 7 syllables: annuity in advance lance. lance romance.

Dibson, 03/10/2004:
The first time I met The Shirelles, he said that his name was "Lance Roman~~~ce". I've since caught on to you, THE SHIRELLES! Watch out, cos not only will this guy dupe you, but he'll entertain you with his songs.

[I had briefly changed my name to The Shirelles]

Soce, 03/05/2004:
It was a tough toss-up, but I guess I would probably choose Lance Romañce over Lance Bass.

Carroll, 02/19/2004:
Lance helped me lose 35 pounds in three weeks. And I've kept it off. Now I feel better about myself. I have more energy and I am ready for swimsuit season.

Nate, 02/15/2004:
OK cool see you then!!!

Ren, 02/10/2004:
you are correct. it is cool to go to jail for having a messy room.

Megan, 12/29/2003:
I remember when we were two toddlers fingerpainting eachothers faces with poo. Yours always tasted better.

RoyGBiv, 12/16/2003:
ben, you are cooler in real life.


The Captian, 12/09/2003:
lance romance rock and roll machine .. a true gentleman and a thug at heart.. watch out ladies this guy wants to kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss you .. and get up in those jeans ..

Elizabeth, 12/08/2003:
i just looked at some baby pictures of ben. his face is exactly the same. it's almost creepy. i fear you ben garber.

Andrew, 12/08/2003:
The first time I met Lance Romañce, he offered me a cigar and invited me to go see <i>Spy Kids</i>. Later that week, I saw him in overalls, and nothing else. To prove there was nothing else on, he unbuckled the top and let the front sag down, revealing an impressive downy mane of pubic hair made public. Yowza. I am pregnant with Lance's love-child.

Leslie, 12/07/2003:

You have a lot of testy monials. I mean, they're just, well, very testy. But I guess that's understandable because they're monials. And they're for you, Lance Romance. Lance is a purveyor of ridiculous sweaters, ridiculous facial hair, and ridiculous friends. But that's what makes Lance so dreamy. Oh Lance Romance, can my monial be testy enough to make your guest book??

Sasha, 12/02/2003:
dance, Lance, dance!

Stephen, 12/01/2003:
Lance has tuberculosis and scabees and he's about as viscious and mad as a hydrophobic dog. Don't let the horrid, stuttering lisp that emenates from beneath his hairy hair-lip fool you into thinking he has some sort of simpering heart of gold. He's evil and crazy. DONT LET HIM ANYWHERE NEAR YOU!!!!

KristyYamaguchi, 11/16/2003:
Ben, who gives a shit?

Laura, 10/14/2003:
Me and Ben are Business Innovators. In the works includes a hot dog stand where you get laid. He also knows how to rearrange a room. Floor to ceiling.

KristyYamaguchi, 10/10/2003:
Fancy Lancie Romancie, we are going to hang out when you come back to town. We're going to see Sarah's band play, you have no choice. That's just how it's gonna be.


Fran, 10/07/2003:
you know how sometimes you meet someone and get along great, like, eerily well, like soulmates or whatever, and then things get a little more serious, and you end up thinking, well, jeez, why even bother dating anymore, lets go ahead and get married, and you do, and your life is perfect, everything you thought love could have been even invented for, you have these three beautiful kids, a joy to look at every day, but then you get this phone message one day from that crone your mother who you'd hoped would just continue lingering in a coma through this whole courtship, and the message tells you that this perfect soulmate love of your life seemed so familiar because he was your identical twin brother before the lobotomy? it's like that. but with ranch instead of bleu cheese.

Pat, 10/06/2003:
Lance is hungry. Don't feed him fudge though, unless it's penucci.

Elizabeth, 10/04/2003:
I knew Ben only briefly but, in the future, when my grandchildren browse the contents of my memory via the internet they will weep for our lost love.

Niki, 09/20/2003:
Lance Romance made all my dreams come true when he sent me a cow's head in the mail. true story.

Erik, 09/11/2003:
Even though I don't know Lance Romance all that well, I'd have to say he's a genuinely nice guy. Sure, maybe he just laughed at me and pretended not to know what I was talking about when I tried to buy one of his cds, but he did it in a really nice way. I think.

Victoria, 09/11/2003:
ben was the first person i met in the united states and i rightly concluded that people in this country were all sorts of fucked up. i was 4. he was 6; i was dressed as a dalmation, he as a donkey. our wedding will be set in the romantic realms of rocky point, and the guests will be served grilled cheese, fries, and newport creamery awful awfuls exclusively. he is my favourite dance partner and, like me, loves a good ibook oriented audio chat. when we worked together at the brown bookstore ben single handedly prevented me from murdering the managers with those little novelty pins that childsick parents buy. at 6pm tonight we are going to holland.

bRad, 09/10/2003:
Lance is the true spirit embodyment of well, some of the best songwriting I have heard. I often find myself pondering the deaper meanings of Urinal Urinal, my favorite. I think my Mom would like your music. As Snoop would say but not to Dre ,"Deh eez Nhu tss" Thanks for keeping it real.

Jenny, 09/10/2003:
lance is like an old man in a sexy new body. he is also like a man of too many words and such. he should be famous. and he probably thinks he is, but really famous. lance is magic. i remember the time I bought him a cheeseburger and told him about frosty fries. He really did love those frosty fries he talked all the way home about how cold and salty they were. i wish he was my cousin.

Michelle, 09/04/2003:
lance romance once made me a mix tape of early 90's bands. it's a good tape. i still have it.

Nate , 08/26/2003:
Lance and I were the first people inside the Providence Place Mall. That same day we were on the cover of the Providence Journal. Also that day I took a nap.

Keith , 08/24/2003:
Lance romance makes my pants da

Javed, 08/22/2003:
lance, you are the biggest homo i know by far. i remember the time we all got really fucked up on glue and watched ghost. i must have jerked off 7 times that night.

Katie, 08/12/2003:
lance lets me rap to my heart's content, and lets me write dirty dirty testimonials. if i found lance in a taco bell bag, i'd eat him. just come home, baby, just come on home.

Benjamin, 08/11/2003:
Lance doesn't like to brag about this, but he won the North American sideburn competition in Memphis in 2000 and 2002. I've always thought with those chops and that voice he has, he's a natural Elvis impersonator.

Katie, 08/11/2003:
lance is of the worst smelling and most offensive in providence. albiet, he can still lay rhymes like the black swan and break hearts like monet. lance, just come home.

Eric, 08/11/2003:
this amazing man writes songs that make ladies pee.. I have witnessed the glow that comes off of his hair.. the shampoo superstar

Brian, 08/11/2003:
lance romance has played some of the best shows and some of the worst shows i have ever seen. thought i should put out his record once and then came to my senses. ladies give him a chance he has 13 books on kissing the vagina alone or so one of his songs say

Simona, 08/10/2003:
Oh yeah, and he makes me feel like dancing. Shoobedoowap booboo-bedo.

Simona, 08/10/2003:
I met Lance splunking he was doing some soul searching. Then he bought me vegan banana bread for a surprise. There was nothing else around to feast on so I excuse the vegan part. I like people who question the way they relate to others instead of only thinking about themselves. He is mischeviously witty and I know he wants to get away from this gross generalization of him. But I hope that everyone's a kaleidescope and I know especially Lance. Take good care of this feller.

T-Murder, 08/08/2003:
i was in a meeting with the board of trustees downtown a few days ago when sharon - my personal assistant - came rushing in to the room. i couldn't believe it. just as i was about to inform her of her family's now unavoidable erasure, she told me that i had a call from mr. romance. "lance!" i exclaimed outloud, not caring at all that i was disrupting the proceedings. at this moment sharon produced my cell phone from behind her back and handed it to me. "Hello?" i said, tingling all over with excitement. truly, it was lance himself, and he wanted to include me in his plans to procure one tyrranosaurus rex. that is precisely the sort of privileged effrontery that i have come to love in lance, and which is available only to someone of truly high class. here's to you old boy.

Jeff, 08/08/2003:
the tyrannosaur oracle requests immediate cousel your majesty.

Kristyn, 08/07/2003:
About Lance Romance- well he definitely does his own thing and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Remember when it was you, me, sarah, frank, dave and sean all working downstairs? I was always telling you to not be friends with Frank, but be nice to Dave about the 2PU. I was crazy back then. Sorry for squirting you in the crotch with the water gun, even though you enjoyed it. When you come back to Austin, we have to hang out more than just 5 minutes outside of Hut's. Anyhow, I'm in New Jersey, bored out of my mind. Please email or call me so we can do something. I've been watching MTV2 for the past 4 days straight. I can't handle anymore.

Sarah, 08/06/2003:
Lance- Are you famous yet? I still remember yelling about 2PU in the basement of the coop. WWHAAHAHWAHAA LANCE: do you happen to have TWO pencils over there!? WHAHAWA LANCE: when you put TWO and TWO TWO- together... WHAHWHA remember that? That was guhreat! When are you coming back to Austin?

Alexander, 08/05/2003:
Lance is about as blase as a diaspore can get in lamellar masses.

Nate, 08/05/2003:
The way I see it, Lance = Nelly + The St. Lunatics

Carl, 08/05/2003:
lance romance likes flowers and semi-sweet chocolates. he has always wanted to go to france and visit the paris. he is a snazzy dresser and a real catch. and he's a real prodigy at games like "head of the class" and "guess who?!" and "spin the bottle". lance makes pretty music for his friends, and has great taste in music and women. one time he masturbated for hours and hours just to see how long he could go without ejaculating, which he reportedly likes to do. he told me he hurt "a whole lot" the next day.

yuri, 08/05/2003:
when i am soaping my privates in the shower, i am thinking of lance romance. when i wiggling at the night club i am thinking of lance romance. when i am making macaroni, that's right, i am thinking of chef lance.

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Testimonials Lance Has Left For Others:::


Annie, 04/05/2004:
Annie, I tried looking on the columbia off campus housing web site, but there was only one place for under 800, and it was 800. Everyhting else was in the 1000s. You should go to some of the siminars they are offering at school. Have you??? I dunno. I dunno what to do. Apartments blow.

Nico, 04/04/2004:
In 1992, Nico locked me in an Elevator in Sarasota, Fl. It was an old people's community, and every one coomplained all the time. I just got out of that elevator a few days ago, it was nice.

David, 04/01/2004:
David è un tipo piacevole. Lo ho gradito sempre e mai gli non

Kennon, 04/01/2004:
I don't know Kennon all that well, even if our parents were friends. I see her dad some times on the train to Boston. He's in advertising I think. Is that right??? I went to her prom, with another girl, but there is still a nice picture of me and her that I have from her prom [sic]

Bethany, 04/01/2004:
Beth est une jeune fille merveilleuse. Elle est folle des fleurs au printemps le temps, et d'un breaze doux d'été. Elle est également une communiste. [sic]

Lars, 04/01/2004:
Lars is the King of England. Well, practicly.

Rebecca, 04/01/2004:
I remember in 9th grade, and I had lost my book where I wrote down my home work. Rebecca some how ended up with it, and returned it to me when we got back from winter break. That was nice of her. She had even tried to call me, but my line was busy cause I was on the internet all the time. the internet was brand new and it was pretty awsome. I have lost a lot of things over years, and Rebecca was one of the phew people who has gone through the trouble of trying to return one of those things. I mean, she could have sold it for more money, or just thrown it out. But she did the right thing. So that's good to know. I also liked her voice

Nelly, 04/01/2004:
I wish Nellie would come up to me and give me a big kiss. This is one of my dreams. She is an african queen.

Anna, 04/01/2004:
Hi. This is actually a message for Nelly. Hi, Nelly.

Gabe, 04/01/2004:
Gabe isn't dead at all.

Jenna, 04/01/2004:
She once gave me a ride home. It was raining

Sara, 04/01/2004:
Sara is more of a cartoon in real life. That picture doesn't do her justice.

Tim, 04/01/2004:
I miss visiting Tim at Minerva's pizza. Those were the best of times, not the worst of times.

Mitch, 04/01/2004:
Language barriers have always prevented Mitch and I from knowing each other very well. Ni Hao, Mitch.

Dan, 04/01/2004:
Dan dan bo ban bananna fanna fo fan fi fi mo man DAN

Gaea, 04/01/2004:
Gaea doesn't treat me like Garbage. Even though i Am.

Dashan, 04/01/2004:
Dashan rejected my "Winnie The Pooh" testimonial. He can go to hell.

Sam, 04/01/2004:
I aggree with Cynthia's Testimonial. [sic]

Elizabeth, 04/01/2004:
Liz stole I my clothes and stuffed them in a giant ass.

Pheobe, 03/31/2004:
Phoebe is my little oyster queen.

Sasha, 03/31/2004:
I cant tell what your listening to.

Carl, 03/31/2004:
Carl just couldn't resist friendster, or my invitation to lunch tomarrow. Want to have lunch tomarrow, Carl? [sic]

Yoko, 03/31/2004:
I'm just happy that Yoko and I are friendsters.

Bronwen, 03/30/2004:
I'm so tired... what am i going to do?

Nate, 03/30/2004:
Bah bah black sheep have you any will yes sir yes sir 3 bags full one for my master one for my brain one for the litlle boy who lives down the drain

Marshall, 03/26/2004:
My mom always took me to Marshall's when I was a kid to buy new pants. Cum.

Dibson, 02/29/2004:
Will Smith and I say Hello. You should hang out with us some time.

Annie, 02/28/2004:
Annie is totally black.

Caroll, 02/18/2004:
Thank you for helping me to become healthier

Geordie, 02/13/2004:
Geodie is my son. He's got issues, though.

Nate, 02/15/2004:
Hi Nate. I will see you on Tuesday. As usual. [sic]

Ren, 02/15/2004:
I hope he dies.

Alice, 02/13/2004:
Yeah, Allice = Eggecelent. I totally agree.[sic]

Aoife, 02/11/2004:
The last time I saw Aoife was at a party at her house last spring. I had just played a terrable concert and was in a bad mood. So I slept on her coutch insted of meeting people at the party. Then Rushad drove me home. Then, I went to sleep again.

Beth, 02/05/2004:
I didn't know you were an Actress. That's wonderful!

Jon, 02/05/2004:
I think Jon is a big fat dick face

Sasha, 02/05/2004:
Jon is great. He always helps e out with things. He is a true friend. I love you, man!!!

Zubin, 01/16/2004:
Hi, Zubin. How's your penis?

Simona, 01/08/2004:
I like your neck

Charlotte Anne, 01/06/2004:
Cahrolette ate my family.

Megan, 12/30/2003:
Amanda said a really nice thing about Megan. I hope they are friends forever. [sic]

Jacob, 12/24/2003:
I like to call up jake and yell at him for things he didn't do, like eating the rest of my sandwich. That made me REALLY MAD!!!!!

RoyGBiv, 12/19/2003:
Are testimonials considered a public display of affection?? Yeah, I'm not really into that.

Sarah, 12/18/2003:
Sarah has always been my favorite muppet [sic]

Elliott, 12/18/2003:
I remember Elliott from 8th grade. He had a huge afro, and was the only 16 year old in the class. No, wait... That wasn't Elliott, that was Igor!!

Eve, 12/17/2003:
I've always liked Eve. I met her when I was 4 and we were at camp.

Chase, 12/17/2003:
I remember a few years ago and I was working at the Brown Bookstore. And then Chase's mom comes in and starts working there too. Thats was fun. I hope Chase is doing well.

Hunter, 12/17/2003:
I have many tapes of me and Hunter playing music togather when we were teen agers. Be it a-slot jazz, the short lived Overall Control, or him throwing up his arms in the Federal Roosters OJ Simpson video.... Ha ha. I had a nice time, and, of all the bandmembers I've ever known but don't really know any more, Hunter is the one I miss the most. Musical opinions, he had nice ones. I hope he is doing well these days.

Margo, 12/17/2003:
Hi, Margo. Thanks for giving me rides to school when I was late. It was nice having classes with you. I hope all is well, and we will have to have lunch one of these day

Jacob, 12/17/2003:
Jake. Your phone cut out. I didn't get to tell you I love you.

Leslie, 12/17/2003:
I used to sit next to her Brother Mark in high school assembaly. Then, several years later, we saw we saw Dude, Where's My Car togeather and life changed for ever. In the future, I'm sure me and Leslie will see better and greater movies. Though, I really did like that movie. I bought it on video, and have a T shirt. I hope Leslie is doing well.

Sam, 12/15/2003:
Hey, Sam! EAT SHIT!!!!!

Jonny, 12/14/2003:
I do not know who Jonny is. I don't know how I ended up being friendsters with him or her. But who am I to complain

Frank, 12/13/2003:
Frank, have you seen my wallet?

Frank, 12/13/2003:
I totally lied to Frank. I feel bad having lied to such a nice guy. But oh well, what can you do?

Ren, 12/10/2003:
Keep Ren Out Of Providence! [sic]

Emmanuel, 12/05/2003:
Emmanuel think's he's so smart. Just because he has the name of a little black boy. Anyhoo, I like Emmanual. He is nice. We used to go to camp togeather, and be in plays.

Pat 10/22/2003:
I found this cola recipe on the internet: 1 1/2 tb Simple syrup (see direction) 1/2 c Soda water 1 ts Vanilla 1 ts Pure lemon juice 1/8 ts Ground cinnamon Instant coffee crystal Simple Syrup 1 c Sugar Water to make 1-1/2 cups liq SIMPLE SYRUP: Heat water. Place sugar in measuring cup and add enough hot water to make 1-1/2 cups liquid. COLA: Mix all ingredients as stated. Pour over ice and serve.

Laura, 10/22/2003:
Me and Laura are Carrot sisters for life, plus infinity.

Sarah, 10/21/2003:
Me and Sarah just love Annette Funicello. Yeah Yeah Yeah!!! And knitting too. I am Frankie Avalon.

Fran, 10/06/2003:
I can't believe fran made it with Black Belt Jones.

Fran, 10/06/2003:
I can't believe fran made it with Black Belt Jones

Jenny, 10/05/2003:
You were right, Jenny.

Elizabeth, 10/05/2003:
Another memory of our lost love is the grandchildren our selves. Yes, folks, we are our own grand children. How is this possable??? Its not. But I'll tell you what is. Nothing.

Ariel, 10/05/2003:
I wish Ariel would run for office. Then i could watch him on TV. I hope Ariel is doing well, I send him my love.

Michelle, 10/03/2003:
A few years ago, I turned 21 years old. Michelle and her Room mate, Beth, took me out for breakfast. We went to the modern diner. It was delicious. I had pancakes. Michelle kept bringing up Ralph Nader, whom we had all recently voted for. We discussed how he was good on the Letterman show, but terrable on the Leno show, which is a terrable show anyways. That was a very good birthday. Tank you very much.

Katiet, 10/03/2003:
Happy Birthday!

Donna, 10/01/2003:
You know, the idea of a TV show about a talking horse must have been had a million times. But the fact that some one was actually able to pull it off so wonderfully is a testiment to humankind. Hooray for Donna Parker, for recognising this. I wish her the best of luck, and hope she is well.

Phillip, 10/01/2003:
Phil's rutgar is enough to make me minuslidus. Aye, aye, aye!! Mi corumba!

Jessie, 09/30/2003:
This is a temporary testimonial.

Matt, 09/29/2003:
Matt was my favorite character in The Blaire Witch Project.

Elizabeth, 09/29/2003:
Elizabeth is always undressing, slowly, in my mind. I wonder what she's doing now....

Jenine, 09/29/2003:
Jenine, can you teach me how to knit??? How was New York?

Jessica, 09/30/2003:
If you're wondering why me and Jessica's profiles are identical, its because we both grew up on the same part of Mars. It was called Afgfjjyttghm. Very nice place to raise a child. [sic]

Nic 09/29/2003:
Hi, Nic! How's Florida??? Long time, no see!

Jacob, 09/29/2003:
Jake is a haiku.

Mahi Mahi, 09/29/2003:
I always like visiting the mahi mahi pool at Mystic Aquarium.

Ariel, 09/29/2003:
We all were working at the Brown Bookstore a couple years ago when Ariel suggested that me and another employee would make a nice couple. He was wrong.

Tim, 09/29/2003:
Tim truely is an amazing adult fantasy. Me being an amazing adult, and him being my fantasy

Pat, 09/29/2003:
I am just glad Pat is alive. I had heard a rumor he had been murdered. What a relief

Steve, 09/29/2003:
After seeing Steve naked, he gave me a ride home from a party

Alleeson, 09/29/2003:
Jenny Smith got real mad at Tim when he painted a picture of Alleeson. That's great.

Geordie, 09/29/2003:
I once saw Geordie at the Mystic Aquarium, doing flips in the dolphin pool.

Victoria, 09/19/2003:
Have you seen vikki's butt?

Bronwen, 09/14/2003:
Hi Brownen. WHen are we going to get lunch?

Erik, 09/11/2003:
I love that picture of you with Adam West. Thank you for the wrapping paper. It was really nice. I hope all is well, and your dogs learn to wait till you get home.

Jenny, 09/08/2003:
Jenny is like a cheeseburger. I'll think of an analogy later, but I just really liked the time she bought me a cheese burger. MMMm... i love those things.

Ricca, 09/06/2003:
Hi Ricca, Its Lance. How are you doing??? I haven't seen Ricca in a few months, I'm sure I'll see her soon though. I hope all is wel

Jon, 09/05/2003:
Ah, to be the Ronettes. If only we could be. Ah, but alas, we are not but men, we are savages. Ugh.

Baird, 09/01/2003:
I only met Baird very few times, a couple years ago. I don't know him that well, but I hope that some time, he will come to Toys R Us with me

Beth, 08/18/2003:
Beth is where I go to clean my self. I dunno

Critical Mass, 08/14/2003:
My rabbi went to mass, and now hes not jewish anymore.

Rebecca, 08/22/2003:
I met Rebooters one night at a party, she didn't stay long. The next day, I went to see the Tyranosaurus Rex, which ate Rebooters. Then out she came. And in I went. Then out I came. Then in she went again. And out I came, as I went in again, and then she came out. It was a rather mysterious day, the wind was quite gusty. Gustier inside than outside. Very strange, but a very nice. I dunno. I'll see you later, thanks for stopping by, I love you all.

Nate, 08/22/2003:
Nate leaves great testimony. fom what I hear.

Emi, 08/22/2003:
Those flowers better be for me, ol' chum. As for the testimonial, yes, I like Emily. Now, time to cha cha!

Sasha, 08/22/2003:
I used to be Sasha, when I first moved to America. I went through Elis Island, and they took away my identity and made be Lance Romañce, then they made Bozo The Clown be Sasha, and so thats the way it is today.

Jeff, 08/09/2003:
Hi Jeff. How is everything??? I miss you.

Javed, 08/22/2003:
Javed blows.

Javed, 08/22/2003:
I love Javed. He is like a wonderful drug. Except that he dates cops.

Liz, 08/18/2003:
Me and Liz went to an all girls school together, before she went off to star in the Dick Van Dyke Show. This was durring Dick's Alcoholic days, he had no idea.

Anna, 08/18/2003:
I vote for Anna.

Beth, 08/18/2003:
Beth is where I go to clean my self. I dunno.

Tom, 08/18/2003:
Thanks for being you, Tom.

Nick Stranger, 08/18/2003:
Great legs. Absolutly fantastic legs.

Roxanne, 08/18/2003:
What do you have to say about Roxanne?

Anna, 08/18/2003:
If she only knew some more jokes, she'd be Henny Youngman.

Whitney, 08/18/2003:
The day whitney and I went to the zoo was a fine day. I was happy as a seal.

Michelle, 08/14/2003:
I wish I was michelle. Or a teradatyl.

Matt, 08/15/2003:
matts trunk is where i do it

Megan, 08/11/2003:
I gave birth to Megan, figuratively speaking. Actually, I really just poured a lot of sugar down her throat, an Equal joy. Hope all is well, take care.

Julie, 08/07/2003:
I remember one time I was in a play at Moses Brown. I didn't know Julie yet, but it was a cold and icey night in november of 1997. I had just turned 14, and she was nearing 18 years of age. Despite the fact that she lived two blocks from Moses Brown, she waited with me until my parents, who had forgotten me, came to pick me up. She told me all sorts of interesting stories. Unfortunately, before my parents could show up, a dinosaur stopped by and took us out for dinner, and then ate us. We died and died until finely we were both dead. That was a nice night. Another time, we went to new bedford in corey shepard's car, and ended up taking a taxi eventually. Ha ha! matt rufo!!

Ggggreg, 08/11/2003: Who is this poppa?

Ben, 08/11/2003:
Let's go, Spotty. You and me, right now. I am glad we are friendsters. :-)

New York (City Of), 08/08/2003:
I really liked new york before it got big. When it was just us. It was nicer back then.

Brendan, 08/11/2003:
One time when I was sick, Pepe visited in the hospital and brought me flowers. I died shortly thereafter. But not alone.

Katie, 08/11/2003:
If ever got Katie in a Happy Meal, I would ... hmmm... thats a good question. What would I do??

Kyle, 08/11/2003:
He is forgetful.

Erica, 08/10/2003:
I wish Erica was a dinosaur. That would really excite me.

Brian, 08/10/2003:
Brian takes nice pictures, and has great side burns. Not only that, I like his voice. I'm glad he is my friendster.

Eric, 08/10/2003:
He is my favorite Eric from Warsaw.

Eric, 08/10/2003:
He is my favorite Eric from Warwick.

Sam, 08/10/2003:
I always get excited when Sam's birhday comes around, cause I know that it means cheese balls. Those things are so delicious. Sam is a nice guy, I like him a lot, I hope he has lots of birthdays, for ever and ever. Word. Oh, and Same is the 2nd blackest guy I know.

Simona, 08/10/2003:
Legs of an eagle. Wings of a dove.

Niki, 08/10/2003:
Niki sure knows how to throw a good party. I went to one where every one got naked. I ended up in the hospital afterwords because I was having heart problems. What a night that was!!!! Thank you, Niki! Hope all is well!

Keith, 08/09/2003:
I once was at Savor's and ran into Keith. That made me happy.

Kyle, 08/10/2003:
Yeah, Kyle reminds me a lot of Ben Garber. They both are from Providence, they both moved to Texas, and they both say "Hazah!" There was one time I locked my bike outside Kirby Lane and couldn't get it unlocked. This resulted in me and Kyle shouting at each other, then wrestling each other, until we were wrestling in front of Kristyn's door. When she stepped out to see what the commotion was, I pushed both her and Kyle off the balcony, down three stories to the hard concrete. They both died, and then I smashed the nabor's outside light. The cops never figured out it was me. I stole a University of Texas hat from the laundry room of the building, went home, and watched Get Smart. Ah, those were great days. We miss you Kyle.

Keith, 08/09/2003:
I once was at Savor's and ran into Keith. That made me happy.

Vikki, 08/09/2003:
I want to marry Vikki. I mean, as much as I like her though, I really just want dual citizenship.

Ben, , 08/08/2003:
I like what he's done with Thayer st. He's really cleaned it up.

Simona, 08/07/2003:
Simona doesn't make me sleep on the coutch. Even when Phil is over.

Logan, 08/09/2003:
I don't really like airports.

Ashley Alyssa, 08/08/2003:
I met Ashly at a party. She told the most amazing stories, until she decided she needed to have some chicken.

Austin (City Of), 08/08/2003:
I like Austin. Its a great place to go skiing.

Boston (City Of) , 08/08/2003:
Keep Cianci out of Providence

T-Murder, 08/08/2003:
Does the word 'Frenchie' mean anythingto you?

Matt, 08/08/2003:
I've watched this kid grow up. And out.

Matt, 08/08/2003:
I don't know what to make of this guy. Asuming he is a guy.

Sound Exchange (Austin Record Store), 08/08/2003:
I remember cold winter days, treking through the snow. I would often pop into sound exchange and make farting noises in exchange for hot coffee. Then I would look around in the dollar room, and they kept me nice and warm. It was wonderful.

Providence (City Of), 08/08/2003:
Buddy Cianci was a real dick head. Remember Providence in the 80s??? Now that was Providence.

Julia, 08/07/2003:
Julia is to die for. I mean, ghosts seems to really like her. If you are still physical matter, don't even bother.

Kristyn, 08/07/2003:
If krystin spelled her name the way I spelled it, how would that change things???

Liz, 08/07/2003:
Liz says she recognises me sometimes on Thayer st. This makes me feel good about myself and so am more posative about things. And though I can not be sure of it, I don't think she has ever killed any one before. That makes me feel good too. I can rest easy.

Jackie, 08/07/2003:
Jackie once tooka picture of something that impressed me. I turned it over to the cops, they were impressed too. Very impressive.

Moike, 08/05/2003:
I like Mike because he likes me. Not only that, hes tought me how to steal cable, eat cheese burgers, smoke cuban cigars, and have an uncle who lived in a haunted apartment in houston. Nigel is a wonderful cat. I once put him in an empty beer case and filled it with water so his fur get wet and he couldn't get out then put him ontop of an 8 foot shelf so he was trapped and affraid to jump. Eventually he tried to jump to the next lower shelf and ended up falling the whole way, and died.

Sarah, 08/05/2003:
Sarah and I used to model together. She looked better than me, so i felt insecure and died. Then I came back to life.

Amanda, 08/05/2003:
I love the Shangri-La's!!!! I think MariAnne, the red headed lead singer, she owns a furniture store on the lower east side.

Sara, 08/04/2003:
Sara went to wheeler with me. One time we went to spike's and we saw some girls I knew. Sara said i didn't label my tapes.

Nate, 08/04/2003:
Nate wasn't in my dreams until he stepped out of my car. That's when the magic happond, and he turned in to a spell. I turned into a spell to, thank you Mr. Merlin! We miss you!

Yuri, 08/04/2003:
I am Lance Romañce.

Carl, 08/04/2003:
Carl is much less thoughtful than his photo suggests, and he works at Louie's. I hope some day he will bleed so much that there will not be any band aids left for any one else, and he gets a yeast infection. That is what I hope.

Jeff, 08/04/2003:
Jeff is not really in an open marriage. Did you know about this, Jenny?? Jeff thinks this is an open marriage

Stephen, 08/04/2003:
He lets me sleep on his floor when I am in NY, but then makes me hit the snooze button when his alarm goes off cause he is too lazy. He is a nice fellow and girls like to be friends with him.

Alexandar, 08/04/2003:
The funniest thing that ever happened to me ever was when I fell of my bicycle and a clown took me to the hospital.

Adrienne, 08/04/2003:
Adrienne has a hair cut and wears glasses. She does not know what I am doing right now, though.

----------

Messages From Lance:::

To: Katie
Date: August 12, 2003 5:42 PM
Subject: Re: ro torouter
Message: Katies, what is your email addresses. Mines iss hippobreth@giantrats.com and I have been pretty pleased with it, witha a cherry on top. Me and Dave just moved back from Boston and so I am home. I am turning over a new leaf, I am trying to be more posative. I haven't left any negative feed back for anybody and I am proud of myself, so I am going to go have some juice to celebrate. I like the oldies. How are you, thank you, good night.

To: Anna
Date: August 12, 2003 5:36 PM
Subject: Re: the ro-mance
Message: Hi, Anna, whats yer email address?

To: Liz
Date: August 12, 2003 5:27 PM
Subject: Re: the \*(^(*^ thing claims I'm not your friend
Message: Ah ha, thats cause its Lance Romañce, there is an ñ. Also, my email is friendster@giantrats.com

To: Katie
Date: August 11, 2003 1:47 PM
Subject: Re: ro
Message: Not particularly, but its ok.


To: Katie
Date: August 9, 2003 11:16 PM
Subject: Re: smi
Message: Lets face it. I just don't know your last name or you email address. Mine is friendster@giantrats.com

You know, if you can sit down and write a rap of some sort, I might consider using you on a song I'm working on called "Tyranasaurus Rapx" (Rapx is pronounced Raps). Also, if you have any first hand ghost encounters, good or not, I want to know that too. I am going to put out an album of people telling their first hand ghost stories, with music and sound effects added.


Ta ta!


To: Keith
Date: August 9, 2003 1:29 PM
Subject: Pizza And Lemonade
Message: Hey, Keith. Do you remember Lance Romañce?

To: Tom
Date: August 9, 2003 1:27 PM
Subject: Pizza
Message: Hi, Tom. What's up?

To: Katie
Date: August 9, 2003 12:49 PM
Subject: Re: smu
Message: I am home. I never leave the house any more. When are we gonna rap togeather again???

To: Michelle
Date: August 9, 2003 12:40 PM
Subject: Aw, Shit
Message: Michelle, I tottaly forgot your last name. I am such a bafoon.

To: Amanda
Date:August 6, 2003 7:53 PM
Subject: Hi Amanda
Message: Amanda, Hello. I'm glad we are friendsters, but I don't remember where I know you from, to say the least. Every morning since I've joined friendster, I have been gleeming from ear to ear with excitement. Anyhoo, I dunno. I am blown away that you listed the Shangri-la's. I should run you off some mix tapes. Hope all is well, take care and thank you very much.

To: Liz
Date: August 6, 2003 7:43 PM
Subject: hi liz
Message: Liz, I can't express how happy I am that we are friendsters. I must admit that I don't remember exactly how I know you, but I do find you to look familiar, but then am again stumped by your age. Hmmm... I really liked that picture with the sun glasses, it was very nice and made me happy. Anyhoo, I hope all is well. Thank you very much!!!

To: Stephen
Date: August 6, 2003 1:55 AM
Subject: Re: keep friendster free
Message: Hell no!!! Let friendster charge as mucg as they
want!!! now back off!!

Stephen wrote:
> keep friendster free
>
> Message:
>
> Message:
> Rumor or for real, we only have 2 DAYS to
> go
> before they start charging. Friendster has over
> a million users signed up. If we all work on
> this
> together, we can try to accomplish something!
>
> Friendster.com HQ Mailing Address:
>
> Friendster, Inc.
> 415 N. Mary Ave., Suite 112-280
> Sunnyvale, CA 94085
> Phone: (650) 618-2638
> Fax: (650) 618-2527
>
> *If we post this bulletin all over friendster we
> could POSSIBLY pressure Friendster to not
> charge.
>
> Forget trying to email these people. They must
> get hundreds of email a day, and it's so easy
> to delete them. I think the best way is to send
> some snail mail to these people and appeal.
> Be
> creative! Write a one page flyer that says "DO
> NOT CHARGE! WE WILL ALL LEAVE!", (or
> something)
> photocopy this message several times, and
> mail
> several of these flyers to the address above.
>
> Everyone should repost this message on the
> bulletin board so that we can reach everyone!
>
> Here is one way to help keep it free...(please
> share)
>
> Simply click on the ads, and then click a few
> links on the site. This will make the
> advertisers, most probably on there for very
> little money or click based. So by clicking on
> an add, and surfing the site a little, they will
> be able to charge the advertisers.
>
> There are three ways to have a site like this:
> 1) Personally have thousands of dollars a
> month to spend on bandwidth and servers
> 2) Charge your users
> 3) Charge advertisers, but that is based on
> clicks they recieve whether they stay around
> "
>
> Personally, I think most of this sh!t sounds
> pathetically stupid. Butt I just read this
> article
> in Vice ( www.viceland.com ) that says that
> friendster is looking to start charging people
> for
> this inane, yet quasi-revolutionary, bullsh!t by
> the end of the summer.
>
> Obviously from a capitalistic standpoint, that
> particular course of action is a good idea, but I
> think (and surely you'll agree with this) that a
> more -friendly- approach would be to ask
> people
> for donations (as I've seen plenty of other
> sites
> do) or to incoporate more (non-obnoxious)
> advertisements into the site, which would
> inevitably 'pay the bills' for the server space
> and the whatnots. Or, at the very least, to only
> charge new members for an entrance fee
> (cuz, you
> know, this place is so f\/cking 'hip' that
> everyone
> wants 'in' at this point..) such that those of us
> who've been here for a while (those of us who
> helped make this place 'popular' in the first
> place) don't have to dish out the cash to
> remain a
> part of this.
>
> If you agree with what I've said, in congruence
> as
> well as in opposition to the original message,
> copy/paste it into your own bulletin board so
> that
> everyone that you're friends with that I'm not
> can
> partake in the pathetic glory that is this
> message

To: Carl
Date: August 4, 2003 11:05 PM
Subject: Re: thomas hobbes' last words
Message: always look where you leap

Carl wrote:
> www.livejournal.com/users/adkein/
>
> i am about to take my last voyage, a great leap
> in the dark.

-----------

Messages To Lance:::

From: Javed
Date: August 24, 2003 1:25 PM
Subject: Re: In Dreams
Message: lance-
its quite obvious than in a strictly jungian interpretation - simona and I are much cooler than you. even though ive never met this girl, im sure she is like a thrashing hail bop comet of coolness, as am i. now we have to actually get on a train and do everything as it happened in the dream and see if some minus world opens up. that would be awesome.

From: Kristyn
Date: August 24, 2003 5:45 AM
Subject: Check out this person on Friendster: Timmy
Message: this guy lives in Providence. He looks scary
------------------
Kristyn has forwarded Timmy 's profile to you.


From: Roxanne
Date: August 19, 2003 2:55 PM
Subject: just a fan
Message: hi lance, my name is roxanne and i've been following your career for about, oh, two and a half years now. i saw you perform live in concert this one time, i remember you were in the trunk of my car at one point that night. i've also seen you in a certain burlesque comedie, which i found amusing but can't remember the name of.
hey i have to take a call bye

From: Katie
Date: August 19, 2003 10:04 AM
Subject: subject
Message: would you like to draw pictures sometime?

From: Katie
Date: August 15, 2003 10:49 AM
Subject: hey lance!
Message: hotmail is being bull lame so just message me here for now. i've never seen the park that you were referring to in your email, the one close to your house.
tom and i sleep two rooms apart.
i am going to work soon.
i am going to the daughters kick off party tonight at the pink rabbit. the pink rabbit is the coolest place to see a show since, the um.. sickle.
i hate providence 30% of the time i'm here.
i love it the other 90.
love your cable.
love, it.
see you saturday, otherwise, i know where you live.

From: Katie
Date: August 14, 2003 1:42 PM
Subject: Re: ro torouter
Message: yes i heard you and dave were to have moving
adventures.
i'm happy to hear you both have returned safely
and happily.
i'm offering you an invitation to attend a most
fine party this saturday evening, my residence,
foxy pt. i certainly hope you haven't booked the evening
thus far in advance.
inquire for more details if this sparks your
curiosity.
and my email, though checked as frequently as friendster, sigh, is super_sonic0@hotmail.com that is a zero, as opposed to an oh. where do you live? i often walk aimlessly through nice east side neighborhoods at night. it could be an adventure to find you.
this is not a pass at you.
i am not hitting on you.
this is not passing at you.
tralala.

From: Liz
Date: August 12, 2003 7:00 AM
Subject: the \*(^(*^ thing claims I'm not your friend
Message: Hi Ben

I tried to add you as my friend but it wouldn't let me. Apparantly your name is neither Lance Romance nor Ben Garber. So it won't let me be your friend. That's no fun.

From: Anna
Date: August 12, 2003 8:50 AM
Subject: the ro-mance
Message: yo lance.

I haven't hung out with you since you were on jeff and nate's floor (literally) and britney (brittany?) got that rad mohawky haircut from charlotte. anyway. just thought I'd say, "Hi." or maybe "What's up." heard you've been rocking out in new york with jeff (bobula). keep keeping it real.

anna

From: Katie
Date: August 12, 2003 1:51 PM
Subject: Re: ro
Message: i can be nice.

From: Tom
Date: August 12, 2003 1:56 PM
Subject: Re: Pizza
Message: lance its good to have you aboard my friend train. you making dough yet?

From: Brian
Date: August 11, 2003 6:27 PM
Subject: Brian has suggested a match for you!
Message: Brian has suggested a match bewteen you and Casey.

You can view Casey's page, and if you are interested, you can send Casey a message.

Casey has also received this suggested match from Brian.


From: Katie
Date: August 11, 2003 10:53 AM
Subject: ro
Message: do you love it ?

From: Katie
Date: August 11, 2003 10:29 AM
Subject: Re: I Want Testimonials
Message: me first, then you
then raps
then, love

From: Keith
Date: August 9, 2003 5:30 PM
Subject: Re: Pizza And Lemonade
Message: why wouldnt i lance..
or ben.. you rocked this city till the dawn of a new day.
how goes it?

friends?

keith aguiar keith_r_aguiar@hotmail.com if you wanna add me to your freinds list.

From: Katie
Date: August 9, 2003 12:21 PM
Subject: smu
Message: lance baby, why didn't you come home last night?

i thought we were, friends.


From: Simona
Date: August 7, 2003 8:17 PM
Subject: Hi Lancey Pants
Message: I tried sending you a message yesterday but I'm not sure you got it. My internet still sucks though I'm on the verge of new technology. I figrued out my new pen name it will be : Monsignor W. S. Vestigial> In the british aisles it will be Mr. Wiggle S. Vestigial> The S standing for Something. (Wiggle Something Vestigial: when you put it all together that's what you get, hey!)

I was at Bard College all weekend in the beautiful town of Tivoli (I lov it spelled backwards)

Sorry I Wasn't around to see you and to give you back your walkman. I really wanted to, but I just wasn't here.

Your testimonial to me is all about yourself. I see no reason to approve it. It's like giving you free advertising space. I will gladly promote you on my own. But I have to feel inspired to write youa good one. Patience my friend.

I do want turntables real bad. But I think I'd be happy with an old used one that doesn't cost much at all. What do you have by way of that.

Miss you, Kissmets
Simona


From: Liz
Date: August 7, 2003 9:28 AM
Subject: Re: hi liz
Message: Hey Lance... I don't really remember how we know eachother either, actually. But I'm sure we do... ACT or MB possibly? ...and by some weird twist of fate you know my friend Stephen... I'm stumped. Anyways, you seem cool... as I recall you normally do when I catch a glimpse of you around Thayer or Providence at large. Thanks about that pic... I just think I look either really young or really confused in it, so I changed the primary. :)
Thank you!
venusofthesea@aol.com or asterielle on AIM.
Glad we're friends!!!
-liz-

From: Amanda
Date: August 6, 2003 11:04 PM
Subject: Re: Hi Amanda
Message: haha that's awesome - i met you through stephen and jeff

From: Stephen
Date: August 6, 2003 10:03 AM
Subject: Re: keep friendster free
Message: fuck you hitler

----------

Bulletin Board Postings From Lance:::

From: Lance
Date: August 22, 2003 8:22 PM
Subject: You know when you turn on the TV and theres big news??? Well, that happond in my dream last night. There was this couple who robbed a bank with their kids in the south, then went like 1000 miles, out running the police in a large but pint-sized titanic like boat. They were very good with that boat, and learned to make sharp turns and bouncing the boat off walls. Watching it on TV was very impressive, the way they handled the boat. Some how, they got so far ahead of the police. Eventually, they were some where in Texas, when they got out of the boat. The wife, who was obviously in charge, put her two kids into two suit cases, walked up some stairs near the dock, then threw them both over a bridge. She said something as she threw them over, maybe "I"m sorry," or what ever, and then went into a door on the right to have sex with her husband. He had gone into that room first, while she was throwing the kids over, then she went into the room to have sex with him, then a third man went in who was dressed rather lax, in a hawaiian shirt and a floppy white hat, but it was gathered that he whad gone in to arrest them. Thats what every one was talking about, everyone had heard about it on the tv, that "some couple robbed a bank then went {i forget how many} mles on a boat, threw the lady her kids into the water in suit cases to kill them, then had sex with her husbend." The biggest news being that she had murdered her own children.
So next thing you know I'm taking the train down to Austin. I run into a kid named Matt who used to go to Moses Brown who gets on my nerves, he is one of my friendsters though. We ordered some food and they brought us nachos to snack on while we waited, just like they do in Texas. There was a big screen TV on, and the lady who threw her kids over and had sex with her husbend, she was on the tv. I think it was the regis show, or something similer to that. All I know is it was on ABC, which, as you probably know, is owned by Disney. As regis like fellow was interviewing her, and said "Now, your father is the brand new chief financial officer for the Disney Company." "And one of your bosses," I continued to myself. And so the rest of the ineterview was nice, and painted this woman as a good, smart and resonable person, who did the right thing. She answered all the questions very intelligently and in a very nice way. Lots of camera charisma, like Ronald Raegan. She was like Serial Mom!!! And since she was the daughter of a Disney executive, they never arrested her, or her husbend, who was never on TV.
So the train ride continued, and I was with my friend Brittney from Texas. Javed was on the train too, but I wasnt hanging out with him. Me an Brittney were watching the Meat Puppets dvd I have, and enjoying it, when we reached out connection destination. So we got off the train and saw the other one waiting, Javed was now with us. It was a small town, but there were a lot of people waiting for the train. Brittney, who was morphing into my friend from Metropolis, Simona, ran for the train that was waiting, as I said "THey will wait for us." When we got to the train, we discovered it wasn't even a passenger train, it was carrying cattle, dead frogs, and crops of unharvested vegitables. There were a couple of people trying to hop this train, and I made a comment about how this was a bad stop to hop trains at because it was so monitered. The doors were locked anyways, I'm not sure if anyone was successful.
The next train was small and crowded, and there was no where to sit. It was a one night train that would drop us off in Austin the next day. I stood faced the window, with the 2-person seats between. Simona and Javed stood behind me talking. When I inquired about something, Javed said "I'm gonna get off this train and hop the next one." I smiled, i figured he was joking. This train stopped about as much as the commuter rail, every 5 to 10 minutes. The next time I turned around, I discovered both Simona and Javed were gone, they had both decided to hop the next train, and didn't even tap me on the shoulder. I started to get mad at this point, worried they would get arrested and wouldn't make it, and that the next train was probably twwo hours beehind. Or even a day behind!!! Arg!!!! How would I find them again??? Oh well. The train passed through the home town of that criminal couple who killed her kids. "So this is the midwest..." I thought to myself. There it was very crowded, every one was out side, holding up signs and flags in support of the lady. There was a little kid standing next to me asking her mom questions, it was getting on my nerves. And so that was that. Thats all I remember.
Now what does this all mean????

From: Lance
Date: August 8, 2003 11:04 PM
Subject: A Few Words About Cloning
Message: There is a misconception that if you clone somebody, you will end up with an exact copy of some body. Genetically speaking this is true, as genetic's even copy a speciman's age, quickly aging the clone to the same as the specimen. But what is often over looked is that you do not copy their minds, thoughts, or memories. Most people's personalities are largely based on life experiences, and in what manor the person was raised. There for, your clone would have to go through the EXACT same life as the person that you want a copy of. And that would just be impossible because the clone would age so fast that it wouldn't have the chance to gain all those experiences. And further more, the clone would grow up with a feeling of inferiority because it is a clone. And its true, it would be inferior. Even with the basic genetic personality traits in place, it would still be a great challenge to duplicate the education of the original specimen. Also, the attention that a clone would get, including constant doctor visits and who knows what kind of checks they'll want to keep doing, this is not a fun thing for a child and can be very damaging. This only would be helpful if the original specimen visited lots of doctors as a child as well. All these things need to be considered. I am sure that some day, cloning of memory cells will be perfectly possible. At that point, memory cells will probably be readable as well, which I would find very intruding. I do not want to be here on that day, I hope to be long dead. Further more, I would never want to be a clone, as I would find the occupation miserating. And whats more, beware of 1984!

From: Lance
Date: August 8, 2003 9:38 PM
Subject: Who Are These Fellows?
Message: Will somebody please inform me as to when exactly I was introduced to the following, as my eyes brows are peeling with curiosity:

Logan
Kim
Amanda
Conan O'Brian

I will not process any new friendsters until I know just who my friendsters are, and how to sirprise them, and then what I should do all night long. Thank you and I love you all. Thank you and I love you all. Especially you.

From: Lance
Date: August 4, 2003 11:43 PM
Subject: I Want Testimonials

Message: How come you have not left me a testimonial, despite the fact that you are the most important person in my life and I miss you and love you and can't live with out you and so i want you to love me the same. And that goes for everybody!


--------------

Other Places Lance Is Mentioned On Friendster:

Homey's Testimoy For Nate, 08/23/2003:
one winter night i was walking down the street to lance romance's apartment to play mariokart. loitering while stoned as fuck and chowing on donuts are kyle d and nate d. rocking the fuck out of a .5x1 boom box. that said, nate be my boy for life. sorry for being too fucked up to do anything with that dude outside lupos. Eastside4life.

Kristyn's Testimony For Kyle, 07/13/2003:
Your picture keeps staring at me. I'm afraid. The first time I met Kyle, he showed up at my apartment with a bunch of rowdy boys and started wrestling outside my front door. That was also the first time I met Ben Garber. I really hated him for some reason and I kept squirting him in the crotch with a water gun.

Kyle's Testimony For Kristyn, 07/12/2003:
krystin loves ben garber. she told me so. you sure do have good taste, ms krystin. and you are the greatest spoon user i know of! grrl power krystin, you and me babe.