44: To Providence & Bard Again
Thu, Feb 16, 2006 02:24 Nite

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. winter. It is I, Lance, your son from the future, writing to tell you about some pending shows and mysterious glows and frost bitten toes and a runny nose and some sub woofer bose that produces lows which it throws to the basement at moe's and from there it grows and vibrates my foes and comes to my shows. That's right!! I said comes to my shows, just like your going to do. Anyhoo.... here are some brilliantly stunning productions for you to attend this coming week:

BARD THIS SUNDAY!!!! w/ Talibam **
Then next Thursday in Brooklyn, at the Glass House.***

* Oakie street: okie street is off calverly on smith hill right after the state house and across from the dunkndonuts. its about 1/4 of the way down calverly it is right by a large construction sight where they are digging a giant sewer. lots of noise knows about teh show and i have flyered the propriate places and am spreading the word via my mouth. dl

**Bard, I have no details. Ask Talibam ( http://www.myspace.com/talibam )

***Glass House 718 387 4942
38 South 1st street (between Kent and Wythe) Williamsburg L train to Bedford
Also Playing: Blast Zone (members of Tiny Amps), Boston, Rocket Surgery, Leaders, Pterodactyl. I'm on about 10, whole show at 8pm

Anyhoo, what else is new??? Or old rather....

In third grade, our teacher gave us a work book to work on in class, and then went over it with us individually in class. One exercise had a list of scenarios, and you had to write the letter P (possible), or I (impossible). One scenario read "A pelican discovers a tomato in a bath tub." Of course that's possible. When I finished the exercises, I brought it up to my teacher, she marked that one wrong. I protested, "But a pelican CAN discover a tomato in a bathtub!" "Ben," she said, "you take things too literally." To this day, that still makes me mad and I stand by my answer.

I was walking by kinkos the other day, and they had a sign in the window that said "power to the business people". That really pissed me off, business people are the only ones with power these days anyways. Anyhoo, I went in and stole some printing paper. Kinko's is sucks.

Once in a great while, it becomes necessary for one to get tested for various diseases. Sometimes after stints of poor behavior, you find your self wondering "Might I have a disease???" Hence, I recently asked my self this question, and was pleased with the negative result, even if they did say it was inconclusive and to come back in 6 weeks. None the less, it was quite a nice experience, sitting in an AIDS clinic, watching health videos, and sitting patiently as a patient. Anyhoo, a few things occurred to me while sitting there, waiting for the test, for the result and for me to leave so I could get drunk. Anyhoo.....

1. In the waiting room, they show health videos. One of them is for prostitutes, and has an enactment of how a prostitute might convince an insistent customer to use a condom when he doesn't want to. When the hooker says to the man, "You need to use a rubber," he immediately offers her more money to do it with out the rubber. That's a real problem, it never occurred to me that thats how it works. Thats is really sucks. I mean, its not always so easy to turn down the extra money, and its just a real asshole way to do things.

2. President Clinton has done A LOT and continues to do a lot to further the cause of aids, especially in poor, developing nations. I know he bombed a few places too, but I think a lot of the development in treating the disease was because of his hefty support for the cause, am I wrong??? I could be wrong. I'll tell you though, the government REALLY DOESN'T want AIDS to spread. They REALLY want to contain it and prevent it, even if it costs money. At least here in NY, that is.

3. There were 60-70 people at the clinic that day, and the waiting room was packed. Of all the people in that room, a good chunk of them will probably be told their positive today (not today literally , but today when I was there). A few of them will be dead within a few years. Despite relatively low risk, I still wonder why shouldn't i be spared??? That feeling grows after they draw your blood, and even more 40 minutes later when they call your number to tell you your result. On the we out, there is such an immense sense of relief, and that, hey, i got lucky, and theres a lot of people who i was just with who didn't.

4. There are a fair number of hot girls who show up at the clinic and are in the waiting room. But an AIDS clinic is a terrible place to meet girls. "So what are you in for?" is what I kept wanting to ask the girl sitting next to me.

Anyhoo, was that a telling bit?? My my. I hope to continue to be healthy though, God bless me.

In other news, we had a huge blizzard last weekend and the vice President shot a guy while Dan Quayle hunting. AND in the mean time, come to my shows in providence, bard and brooklyn this week. THATS THREE SHOWS IN ONE WEEK!!! UN BE FUCKING LIEVABLE. I am the hardest working man in toe business. And anyhoo, its time for you to buy some Lance Romance shirts, they are rules and awesomes. And look forward to the upcoming anouncement of National Tour!!!

Have a good night, sweetie,

Lots Of Love,
An ear sore,
Mr McGilicutty
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