27: Englishman, englishman, Give Me Your Comb
Mon, Oct 11, 2004 11\00Nite


Hi, everybody. Its Monday here in New York, and it is starting to get chili. I have been wearing a long sleeve shirt under my t shirt, and toping it off with a zippy-me-up sweatshirt. I have rolled up my sleeves now, as I write you from a friend's house.

So, its Christopher Columbus day today, or is it the day of another Christopher??? I dunno, it Christopher Reeve day today mayb?? I guess so, poor guy. I liked him better than Columbus, so, yes, I hope that will be the case. His death today was pretty out of the blue, i don't think any of us saw it coming. It was sad when Rodney Dangerfield died last week, but he was old, and we kind of expected it. Now with Christopher Reeve, though it would be hard to say that he was in good condition, he had been in that condition for so long that we asumed he was just as healthy as you or me. I'm sure John Kerry aggreed last week when he used his name in debate.
Anyhoo, one thing I thought would be a nice way to do is take this chance to tell you all some Christopher Reeve jokes I'd heard, and hadn't gotten the chance to tell much yet. They cirtenly aren't as funny now that as he is passed, but tell them now while the notion that he is dead isn't an automatic asosiation with the guy. like Frank Sinatra, when we hear Sinatra's name now, we think of the word "dead" almost immediately. But it wasn't so long ago that we thought of him as alive. I stilll don't asociate "dead" with Jonny Cash completely yet, but i know I will. So now, apart from when he was alive, would be the best time for christopher reeve jokes. Such as...

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
A: Christopher Walken.

For those of you in the future, Christopher Walken is a great actor of our time who portrayed the producer of Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't fear The Reaper," on the best SNL sketch ever. Christopher Reeve, who played superman, was paraprolegic, and couldn't walk.
Here is another one:

Q: Why can't Christopher Reeve dance?
A: Because he's white.

Of course the answer to that joke now seems to be "because he's dead." Likewise, the opposite of Christopher Reeve would probably now be "alive" Was there ever a Christopher Livingston??? Well, I guess maybe Walken is still the opposite of dead.... And someone else asked "Well, how white is he now?
The person who told me that joke about his dancing, who was obviously racist, which I detest, also told me a similar joke. "Why can't Ray Charles read?" when the answer is "Because he's black." Ugh, I know more racist jokes too. But, maybe another time, since i detest it.
Anyhoo, Christopher Reeve died of a heart attack today, i presume due to a lack of excersise. He will be sorely missed, and, I aggree with most people who call him a true hero, more so than the fctional charcter of Superman which he several times portrayed. He also hosted a wonderful TV special on Dinosaurs around 1987, which I taped off TV and watch regularly still to this day. I think he's great, and will miss him. Along with Rodney Dangerfield, who I'd also like to pay my final no respects to, Johnny Cash, Sam Phillips, ray Charles, and anyone else who I really liked before they died who I'm either forgetting, or is about to die before the year is out. May all of them have a happy after life, and haunt the living who live where they died for years to come. Amen.

I have been liking the debates lately. I have watched all 3 so far: the 2 presidential, and the one vice presidential. I watched them 4 years ago, when is was Bush Cheany vs Gore/Lieberman. God, it was terrable. Ralph Nader, who was right about everything as it turns out and wasn't just bashing everybody for campaign purposes, made an interesting analisys in the book he wrote on the 2000 Election, noting that the amount of disagreement between Republican and Democrat candidates had fallen sharply over the past several debates. And in 2000, they aggreed on something like 80%, where with carter Raegen, another dead dude, the aggreement rate was about half that. These aren't exact figures. But that's why, say, the Lieberman/Cheney debate in 2,000 was super boroing, and half the rebuttles seemed to start with "I too...", where as this year, Cheney debated John Edwards, and it was fierce and exciting. There is such a fucking difference between Gore and Kerry, which is what Nader said "is like the differnce between petrified wood and a spruce tree," respectively. Hence, Nader's Campaign is much, much weeker this time around, as he is not filling in any gap. Kerry, for the most part, is doing agood job. Gore ignored us.
I didn't think much of John Kerry, and initially was scared of him, even though Ralph Nader's words did give me some comfort. But since the debates, I have grown a new apreciation for the man, and am now totally and happily and confidently vote for him. I would like to mention, and this is true, that John Kerry's daughter, Alex, was my tutor in the 10th grade. She went to Brown University, and was very late the day OJ Simpson was aquitted, with the excuse "I just had to watch." That was a very big day, the world stop, so it was understood. I had watched too, but she had to leave late. So anyhoo, same day I wrote "Tribute to OJ Simpson," truely a historic day. Anyhoo, Brown is in my home town of course, Providence, RI, where I am still registared to vote this year. As much as I want to, though, I can not vote for Kerry in this state. We are a super blue state, and it was said four years ago that "Even if Bush was the only candidate running, he still wouldn't win Rhode Island." So, throwing one more vote for Kerry onto the pile isn't going to help. No, in this two electoral vote, I think, state. its not 4 is it??? I'm pretty sure its 2. Anyhoo, if i vote for Nader, who surely won't get too many votes this time around, I feel my vote is going to say more. i still like him the best, he represents me the best, but i'm pleased to say that I'm not upset by the fact that he PROBABLY won't win. I am happy with Kerry, and wish him the best mother fucking god damned luck in the rest of this fucking country. And encourage you to vote for him, as aopposed to my own Candidate of the incumbant President Bush, who I personally and most greatly dislike. I also encourage you to, no matter your oppionion, read Nader's book on the 2000 election, "Crashing the Party," and it makes a very interesting comparison to what's going on in today's election field.

I have now been told that Christopher Reeve actually died of heart failure, not a heart attac, which is what I had been told earlier.

Anyhoo, here is the reason I write you today, my concert schedual, which includces a show THIS SUNDAY, in NYC, a show next weekend in Westchester, and get ready Ithica Kids, I'll be in your gorges town in two weekends, for two shows. Ch-check it out:

Sunday, October 17th 2004
10pm
Sidewalk Bar & Restaraunt
Corner of Ave. A & E. 6th st.
East Village, Manhattan
No Cover, 2 drink minimum

Saturday, October 23rd 2004
Time TBA
Purchase University
Westchester, New York
Cover TBA

Thursday, October 28th
Time TBA
Cornell University
Ithica, NY
Tammany at Risley Hall

Friday, October 29th (subject to change)
Time TBA
Cornell University
Ithica, NY
Noyes Performence Center
Opening for some other band, TBA

This was a good News Letter, I'm happy. No, just kidding. It was another bad one. Or was it??? No, it wasn't.
Anyhoo, please write some letters, just reply to this email, that would be great. Encourage other subscribers, and come to my shows if you can. I love you, and miss you, and can't wait to see you again. Happy birthday, everybody!!!

Lots of love,
A Fresh Poop Of A Clam,
Lance Romañce
Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce News Leather. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
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