229: Happy Birthday, Lani!!!
4:30:02 10\00Morn
This issue is to celebtrate what would have been list member Lani R's birthday this past Sunday, if she hadn't died in a car crash last week. To celebrate, I will be taking Lani's corpse to see Nancy Sinatra in a month. That will be great!!! It will be just like Weekend at Bernie's. This corpse was ment for walkin!

So how are you all??? I am Lance Romañce, and I am doing swell.
I've complained in the past about how much I hate the fact that TV on the weekends is made up entirely of sports broadcasts. It annoys the hell out of me that every net work on television shows nothing but sports all weekend long, which leaves nothing for the rest of us to watch. I'm sure sports fans can be perfectly happy with just two choices, even one would keep them satisfied. But there is no need for sports on every single channle. Well, I guess the big TV networks have been reading my mailing list, because something has been done about it. Channel 6 has all ready reverted to showing movies on the weekend, and acording to the New York Times, there are more television channels to follow. So I am happy to announce the return of good old fashioned weekend television.
Movies are nice to watch over the weekend. Since they have started running them again on broadcast TV, I have seen two movies: 3 Men And A Little Lady, and Who Framed Roger Rabit. Two good movies, I must say, with the latter being much better. I saw three men and a little lady in the theater on I believe my 10th Birthday, so that would have been in 1989. I haven't seen it since. Roger Rabit I saw in the Theater after it had been out for a little while. That was the summer of 1988, I believe. I think we saw it that fall. When it came out on video, my grand mother bought it for me for christmas, and I watched it a million times. Well, for a little while. I haven't watched it in several years, until I saw it on TV a few weekends ago.
There is one part of Roger Rabit I never understood. It is durring a scene when when Judge Dread comes to the bar and offers a reward to any one who's seen Roger Rabit. Roger is hiding in the back, and to find him, the judge starts tapping "shave and a haircut" on the wall. One guy in the bar, who's name is Angelo, says "I've seen a rabit." Then he puts his arm around nothing and says "Well, say hello, Harvey," and every one laughs. I never under stood why. Why does every one laugh??? Well, as it turns out, Harvey is a 6-foot Invisable Rabbit. You know, I never would have guessed. It turns out that it was a pretty good joke.
For those who still don't get it, there is an old movie starring Jimmy Stewart called "Harvey," in which every body thinks Jimmy Stewart is a lunatic because he is best friends with a 6 Foot invisable rabbit. The Rabbit's name is Harvey. Its a good movie, and Jimmy Stewart has long said it was his favorite of all the ones he ever made. Maybe they'll show it on TV some weekend.

Here is the letters section.

The first letter this week is from Jenny M. of Montegue, Grumbly:

Lance I loved the latest mailing and YES YOU AND I HAVE to do more so the feds pay more attention to us so lets devise a plan also please call me and tell me when we are going to go on a date okay Bye Jenny

Dear Jenny,
Last thursday.
Love,
Lance

The second letter if from Annika R. of Lilithfa, IR:


Hey Lance,
haven¥t you received my mail?
I wrote you weeks ago, but you haven¥t already answered-please write back. Next year I perhaps go to USA, half a year. I want to get my driver¥s license, so I have it a year earlier than the guys of my class. Anyway, please write back.
Annika

Dear Annika,
Be careful if you fly to the USA. We have some pretty bad pilots around here. In fact just a few months ago, so sleeping pilot drove his plain right into the world trade center!!! Talk about a rough flight!!!
Always make sure your pilots has gotten plenty of sleep, and hasn't taken any medacine that will make him drowsey. Oh, and make sure the pilot is not a woman. A woman will crash the plain before they have evn loaded the meals on.
Love,
Lance

I thought you'd all like to read an email I sent to somebody interested in my house in Boston:

Me and my friend George are both Berklee students and needed a place with a good sized basement so we could play and record music. The only place we found that wasn't a complete dump, and was in a nice area, was this one. It is a 7 bedroom in Allston, and is large and rather spacey. So now there are just the two of us, and we are trying to fill up the other 5 spaces.
There are 4 bedrooms on the 2nd floor and 2 on the 3rd. And we will have a 7th in a small part of the basement, which I will probably take. The bedrooms are generally about the size of a two-person dorm room in Boston. Every one gets their own room.
On the third floor, you can get onto the roof which will be used as a deck. The people who live in this place now all ready have a table and chairs out there. The first floor is entirely common area. It consists of a modern kitchen, which includes three refrigerators, a stove (gas I think), a dish washer, plenty of shelves and cupboards, and even space to move around, and maybe put an island or kitchen table. There is a dining room where we will have our dining room table, and a good sized living room. There are bath rooms on the first and second floor. They both have showers and the one on the second floor has a bath tub.
In the basement will be on smaller room. We might try to finnish the basement up a little bit, as right now it looks like a basement. But we intend to have a washer/dryer set, a recording studio (which would include some sound proofing), maybe a pool table, and other things that other people might suggest.
The house is at 11A Islington in Allston. There is a Green Line B train about 10 minutes away. But juts a block a way is a bus that goes straight to Kenmore one way, and straight to Harvard Square another way. This place also includes off-street parking in a small lot behind the house. Nearby land marks include the Twin Donuts, The Grass Hopper Vegan Restaurant, and Brighton Free Radio.
The rent is $557 a month plus utilities. It is available in september. Down payment includes first and last month's rent, security deposit, and realtors fee.

Isn't that a nice email??? I am the master.

Anyhoo, I'm pressed for time today, so I am not going to tell you about my cousin's Bar Mitzvah this weekend. Insted, I'm going to send out this half-assed mailing list and head on up to Boston to show my place. Orivwa!

Well, maybe I have a few minutes, I can tell you a little bit about his Bar Mitzvah. It sucked. You know, I'm just not a big fan of my father's side of the family. All the strange and exotic relative stereotypes you can have are on that side of the family. For example, there is my 50 year old aunt who is a lame-o, but she things shes young and hip, but you know that even when she was young she was a lame-o. And she kept pulling on my hand trying to get me to do the electric slide with me. Or my grandmother, who I haven;t seen in at least a year and a half or so, who was going off about how old I am now. And she says "You're old enough to drink. You're old enough to vote. You're old enough to have sex!. And you have to do it all!!" Nothing I want to hear from my grand mother, you know??? And then there are my cousins Adam and David, the only relatives I have on either side of my family that are any where near my age. That was nice growing up to have people my age in the family, cause my mom's side there is no one with in 10 years of me either way (the adults are all at least 20 years older. My cousins Adam and David though, we got a long great growing up. But some where they went down a very differnt road. How can I describe them.... Well, to put it lightly, I think they were raised on the set of home improvement. I didn't like it when my cousin David saw me and he said "Hey, what's up" and then nudges my belly with his elbow like I'm one his frat brothers. You know there was one time a few Thanksgivings ago, when we were at my Aunt's house, it was time for them to go home. And they said "Hold on, we are waiting for Dave Mathews," who was performing at an encore presentation of the MTV Music Awards from that year. See what I mean?? Different roads. They spent the rest of the day watching foot ball. Thats why I didn't enjoy the bar mitzvah, having to visit all of these people. I didn't like the Rabbi much either. He was like the soft spoken hippy teacher on Bevis and Butthead.

Anyhoo, thats all I have time for today. I'll see you next month.

Well, I decided not to send this email last night, so there is still more left. We showed the Apartment again last night. We now have a total of 4 people signed on, including our selves. There is Ethan, who is a BU student. He is there to study film, but is still just a freshaman. He is origionally from South Kingstown, RI. He saw our flyer up at a coffee shop. There is also Bree, who is from Arizona and is still there now. She is 25 but is still attending school at UMass Boston. She is in Arizona now and found an ad I put on an internet apartment site. We have not met her, but have been emailing lots, talked on the phone, and last night we met two good friends of hers who were looking at the apartment for her, and then we all had dinner. It went well, so Bree has decided to officially join us. We need just a couple more now.
A funny thing happoned a few weeks ago. When we were shown the place we were told it was a 7-Bedroom, and that was what was written on the sheet they gave us. So we opened up ads saying we had ourselves a 7-bedroom. But we never really bothered to count. 7 is a high enough number that you don't notice immediately that there are only 6 bedrooms. So thats the snag we've hit, is that there are only 6 bedrooms and not 7. The reality company has offered to convert part of the basement into a 7th Bedroom. Thats nice and all, but we'd be getting less space than we were origionally lead to believe. So we are trying to get them to reduce the rent by one person, and only count this place as a 6 bedroom. So we are not currently sure wether we need more people or 3 more people to sign on.

So any hoo, that should do it for now. I just wrote a long piece and then I changed my mind and decided to save it for next week. Any hoo, I hope I haven't offended any of you in this issue. Sorry if I have.

Love,
King Nigger Bottom,
Lance Romañce

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