216: Clapping For The Wrong Reasons
1/13/02 9:12 PM
Good evening, dillies and dallies. Man, you know, i think its these introductions that are the hardest part of the mailing list to write every week. I have been thinking about not writing introductions any more, but its just something that has to be written or else the mailing list is harder to get into. As useless as it seems, it really is among the most important parts, as it allows the reader to become cofortable a familier. Its like on a TV show, where they show the same intro every week. They always play the same video piece over the same theme song, because it allows you to adjust your self. With out the theme song every week, the viewer feels alienated. I do not want to alienate any of you, so I will keep writing this damn thing, as much as I hate it.

the first letter this week is from Louise E. of Fehlis City:

What up dude! It's louise Ellis, I very much liked that my name was in your
last mailing list...that was cool. I was just writing to say hi. I'm kinda
shitfaced right now, so I figured I'd spend my last hours of drunkeness of the
night writing e-mails. goood idea huh? Anyway, hopefully I'll see you again
this break. Julie and I will prolly ruin into oyu on thayer st. or something.
I don't know... maybe we'll stop by. Ok, well sounds like things are going
well! I'll talk to you soon!
Love,
Weezie

Dear Louise,
You know whats real neat??? You are. Your a real neat girl.
Love,
Lance

The second letter is from Adrienne S. of Donk, Ey:

dear ben,
welcome home. let's have breakfast on new year's day. do you still
have any of those lance romance t-shirts? I would like to buy one in size
small. see you back in the future.
love, adrienne


Dear Adrienne,
How many times do I have to tell you: I don't have smalls!!! If you want, you can get a silk screen machine and make your own damned t-shirts. Happy hollidays!!
Love,
Lance

How is my new job??? Funny you should ask, I was just about to bring it up. I have been working at the UT bookstore for one week now. GO LONG HORNS! ha ha. I hate football players. Anyhoo, I've been working at the UT bookstore for one week now. In that week, I have worked 6 days, and will get paid for it next Friday. Work isn't bad at all. I get to wear one of them workman's belts and lift heavy boxes and push them around on a hand truck. I actually quite enjoy it. I don't have to do any registers, which is good, cause I have been doing regiters for years and I have never liked them. The only thing they are good for is the assistance of tendering cash, which is not something that intrests me.

Last Saturday, me and list member Kristyn S. went to see the new Disney film, Models Inc. I thought it was pretty good. I went with some other pals of mine down here to see the Royal Tennenbaums, which I didcn't like. I mean, I thought it was ok, but every one else loves it and I don't see why. Its not a great movie. I also picked up tickets to see the Breeders.
The weather has been good to me down here. Cold only comes in short spurts around here, but never lasts long. Today it was probably in the late 60s. Here it is, the middle of January, and its in the fucking late 60s. Back home, this is the kind of weather I would only expect on a nice day in April or May, but never in fucking January, man. Man oh man. You know, being down here all of fall, and missing the latter of last winter while traveling, I begun to miss new england's weather. I longed for autum leaves, and then winter cold. Snow, which, despite its beauty, I hate, I began to miss as well. Well, the second I stepped off my train in Providence, I remembered well enough. I really hate the cold, and I don't know how I will ever be able to deal with it again when I know there is sunshine and hot babes running around Austin, Texas.
I do love it down here, and would love to spend more and more time down here. And I do intend to. I feel very at home here. But, there are serious downfalls around here. First off, the football players make me feels sick. Secondly, I have enough trouble dealing with summer way up in Yanksville, New England, so what in hell makes me think I could deal with it here when its this hot in January??? Nothing does. For one reason or another, I feel so inclined to spend yet another summer back in my home town. There is another catch though too about new england. ALL my musical equipment is up north, and its too much of a pain to ship it all down here. So, should I intend to continue making Lance Romañce records, which I do intend to do, I have to be closer to my equipment. Ah, tied down by material posessions. But further more, the north east I feel contains the right musicians to join me in concert, and the right audience to cultivate my following and make a career. And that is what I am going to focus on this summer, is turning Lance Romañce into my career. I have all sorts of ideas and mumbo jumbo going around in my head. But I am sick of running cash registers, and need to set my self up so I can just always be chillin. After the summer, I have some ideas where I will be next year, but wish not to share them with all of you till they are set in stone. I have shared such plans with you guys prematurly in the past, and I feel that has always jynxed me. So, I will let you know as it all happens. Anyhoo, I should be back in providence some time in the spring, but not with out visiting you at college first, and a second visit to Lance Vegas. Man, I love that town.
I figure I might as well let you know whats going on with Lance Romañce's recording career. In the liner notes to "Titty Titty Yum Yum," I said I hoped to get an album out some time in 2002. Well, I hope to stick by that. I do not have any recordings yet. The full length version of "Manbeard Ballet", the edit of which has been on my web site for months, was released on the providence dance music compilation "Real Slow Radio Vol. 1". That song will remain exclusive on that compilation, and all other tracks which I have since recorded will be scrapped. I am going to record my entire next album on a 16 track reel to reel tape machine. I will start recording my next album once I aquire one of those. The 8-Track recorder I have been using, which uses standard cassette tapes, just isn't reliable and breaks a lot, not to mention its not of great quality, and I would really like to have more tracks. Here are just a few of the songs I hope to record this summer:

Sputnik Sally
Artichoke Rappin'
Pot Roast
Its Leaky Leaky Time
Would You Like To Dance?
Lance Romañce Classic
Midnight Carnival Waltz
The Deng Xiao Ping Song (new lyrics will be written)
The High School Song
I'm One Bad Mutha
Loin Cloth Party
Oh, Cindy
Hal's Gal
(Don't Worry) I Shot The Deputy)

These are just a few, and there are many others. Most of these songs will probably not make the final cut. I also am not going to release this album until I've gotten a record deal. I am sick of having to burn all my own CDs and assemble the packages, and its all just a hassle. So I am just gonna wait on that. But I must tell you not to expect another Titty Titty Yum Yum. In fact, don't epect anything. I am going to sirprise you.
I have put up tew new tracks on my web site. One is an instrumental, which I REALLY, REALLY like. It is a brillient little piece called "Inner-Peace." The other song I have posted is called "Do The Blink." Yes, I released the blink on Titty Titty Yum Yum, but this is an alternate version that is not as good, so I didn't put it on the album, and used the other version insted. So check em out, bitches.
I should also let you know that pretty soon, Sonnets Set To Music, my first album, will be going out of print. Why?? One, because I'm sick of having to burn everfy copy and assemble all the packaging. Two, because that album could be a lot better. There are a lot of great songs on that album, I think the songs are much better than the ones on Titty Titty Yum Yum, but they are poorly preformed, which distorts how great the songs really are. Thirdly, I just think its kind of cool to have a record of mine be out of print and rare. This means that your current copy is a colecters item. It will be rereleased someday, but your copy is hand made by me. My finger prints are all over it, and the writing on the CD, on the later ones, was written by me personaly. So hold on to it. What I hope to do, though, is re record it and rerelease it next year, under a record lable assistance. So I am planning four projects for upcomming Lance Romañce releases: my next album, a re recorded Sonnet Set To Music, as well as a Christmas Album for christmas 2003, and a Leap Day album for Leap Day 2004. And maybe more!!! Anyhoo, those are my plans.

Any hoo, that should do it for now. This mailing list was just a contractual obligation mailing list, and I am saving all my good material for my next volentry issue. Its been a couple issues since i sent one of those. I just havent had any great thoughts that i have been so inspired to write about. I think its just cause I haven't had enough time off. But sooner or later, I will think of something. And when i do, you and me are going out for a night on the town. You know, I haven't been out for a night on the town in ages. I can't wait. Anyhoo, i'll see you then. I love you, and have a good night. Oh, and don't forget to write me. You know, a good letter from you is often good insperation to.

Love,
A Guy Who Mike Wallace Is Keeping An Eye On,
Lance Romañce

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