195: Goodbye O-Town: Part One
3:29:01 1\52Nite
Hi everybody. Lance Romance writing you from florida for the last time. Boy, oh boy, I am getting sick of Florida. On Friday, I will be flying from Orlando to Austin, and then the following Tuesday, I will be arriving in beutiful Lance Vegas. My vacation here in Florida has been going well. Let me tell you all about it.

last monday, the day after i wrote the last mailing list, I woke up a little early and waddled down to Walt Disney World to distribute my enjoyment over all walt disney world four theme parks. I took the bus from Orlando to Disney, where i borded themagic monorail and entered the magic kingdom. That was wonderful. When you enter, you walk down Main Street USA while cartoon music plays out of speakers installed in the street lamps. I walked straight down main street, through Cinderella's Castle, where I found myself in Fantasy Land, and went on the Snow White ride. It was a very nice ride, but tragedy struck in the middle of the ride, when the ride's star, Snow White, unwittingly took a bite out of a poisonous apple. I was scared shitless!!!! What a nice and pretty girl, suddenly dropped dead. I almost cried. I probably would have cried, but Prince Charming came in, kissed snow white on the lips and she awoke from her death. It was so romantic!!! I cried anyways, but now my t

Next I woddled over to the Little Mermaid ride, which was new since the last time i visited Walt Disney in election prelude year of 1991. The line wasn't too long but it took forever. Very slow line. When I finely got through the line, a representatvive of the walt disney company asked me "How Many?".
"just one," I replied, as she gave me a funny look. Suddenly, out of no where, dissapointment struck me. As I looked ahead of me, i realised that this wasn't a ride at all, but rather, a woman dressed like the Little mermaid sitting on a rock, awaiting little girls who want to have their picture taken with the little mermaid. Well, I might as well get a picture, right???? Wrong. This photo session was BYOC (bring your own camera), so I was out of luck. I left the line i had been since i was concieved, got some lunch, and went on to real rides, including some of personal favorites, Peter Pan and Small World. Thus, I felt I had completed MOST of my Fantasy Land tasks, especially considering that both Mr Toad's Wild Ride and 20,000 Leagues under the sea had both been removed. Both of them had been removed. Seeing as to the fact that both rides had been removed, i removed myself from Fantasy Land.

Transporting myself by ankle joint, i went to my very favorite land from yester year: tomarrow land. The People Mover, The Corosel of Time... Old classics still in full effect, along side new attractions, such as the Tomarow Land Convention Center, and the Buzz Light Year Ride. Both of which were amusing. But excitement bestowed my lively hood when I found my self on the next ride. Now, as a kid, I never liked rollar coasters. In fact, last year, I never really liked rollar coasters. I don't think that I was so much scared of them, but when they go down real fast I always got a tickally feeling in my ass that bothered the shit out of me. But a magical spell came over me, and I figured that I was at disney world, I probably not going to be here again for along time, and for some strange reason, I went right up to space mountain, skipped the line, and hopped into a space shuttle. And let me tell you, i loved it. Later in this mailing list, I will go on it again.

What happoned next I will never forget: It started raining. Hard. If there is any time you wat to be at disney world, it is while it is raining. Most of the snotty famalies which visit disney theme parks detest rain, and these tears from hevan eliminated most of the lines. Where as most of the day, I had to cut people and get "fast pass" tickets, which required killing time, al the lines had now been widdled down to a quarter of what they normally are.

Feeling that lines were still a bit too long in the magic kingdom, I monorailed my self over to Epcot, removing myself from the magic kingdom. Epcot was some what dissapointing. As a kid, I loved Epcot Center. I am not sure if it is growing up, or changes t the attractions I found dissapointing. I waited in no line ride Epcot's center piece ride, Spaceship Earth. As a kid, Walter Cronkite narrated it, but I found he had been replaced by a looser. Also, two of my favorite rides, Horizons and World Of Motion, had both been removed. Removed, they both had been. Both of them had been removed. Both of them. I went on a few other rides, but seeing as both Horizons and World Of Motion had both removed themselves, I removed both myselves from epcot and returned to the Magical Kingdom of Disney, where I found all of the lines in the park had been removed. Both of them.

I walked right up to such classic rides as The Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Carrabien, and such new rides as The Adventures of Whinnie The Pooh. Whinnie the pooh was a disapointing ride, which consisted of still plastic figures rather than animotronics. The only thing that really was exciting was a gust of wind from fans they had blowing down in The Blustery Day section of the tour. They really just cheaped out on that ride.

Since there was no line, and I enjoyed Space mountain, I some how convinced myself to go on another rollar coaster ride called Big Thunder Mountain. I enjoyed it, and probably would have enjoyed it more if it weren't for that turkey leg I just ate. None the less, for one reason or another, i put on my steal balls, and found my self walking through the line rails of Splash Mountain, a flume ride, in which you fall fast, furious and far, almost staright down. This is a ride that normally has a two hour wait, but because of the rain and it was only about an hour before the park closed, i walked through the mile and a half line rails, and got on a boat. The boats, which normally hold about 12 to 15 people, were absolutly empty. There was no one in the boat in front of me, there was no one in the boat behind me, and i got my boat allto my self. I found myself in a delightful world of magnificent animatronics, singing great songs, and based upon, if i'm correct, the zip-a-dee-doo-dah cl

March 30, 01: Depart Orlando 3:15pm, Arrive Austin 5:05pm: Southwest Airlines Flight 143 Y.

April 03, 01: Depart Austin 1:45pm, Arrive Lance Vegas 2:35pm: Southwest Airlines Flight 751 Y.

Watch for crashes. I will hopefully be back after lunch to send out the rest of my floridian adventures, but if not, I will write you again when I can, which will probably be after Lance Vegas. Until then, I'll see you tomarow. Have a good lunch.

Lance Romance,
Ben Garber

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