182: Return Of The Lance (now with 50% more romañce)
10:11:00 11\00Nite

Hello turd faces. This is Lance Romañce here again, once again writing a Lance Romañce mailing list. Ah, the times, the teers, the terror.... Every thing that made you hate the Lance Romañce mailing List 3 and a half years ago is on its way back. Maybe But not now, I've something serious to talk to you about.

MY NEW ALBUM IS OUT!!!!!!!!!
Its called Tity Titty Yum Yum. Here is what people are saying:

Nate Davis: Focusing on tighter and more sophisticated instrumentation, Lance
Romance has created "Titty Titty Bang Bang, a sophomore effort which
exceeds the high expectations set by his debut record, "Sonnets Set To
Music." ill write a longer one later.

Adrienne: Lance Romance's second album is very special, more special than your favorite kitten. Lance's extensive musical education has provided him with a finesse which is more apparent now than ever. The bass, piano, guitar, drums, water glasses, and slide guitar have never before gotten together with such a magic as this. This music is perfect for any boy or girl out there who wants to make love or macaroni. Lance's lovesongs are sweeter than cupcakes, and they are sure to be loved both by boys who love girls and by girls alike.

$5, 18 songs, 45 minutes.
My new record is available at www.GiantRats.com, at Tom's Tracks here in Providence, In Your Ear,w hich is also in providence, and will be available at Mars Records in boston on new berry st later this month. If you got a free one last time, your not getting a free one this time. I am a little behind on supply, but that should be fixed with in the week, so people who have all ready ordered it, it will be sent by next tuesday the latest.

Do you remember my room mates I had from texas???? Weren't they horable?? I hate texas.

Well, enough blabber talk. Its now time for another episode of MEET THE BRESTS:

I don't really know. You know I don't know about these mailing lists. The reason I stopped was cause I was getting displeased with my writing. I have recently started writing for some local publications in the hopes of getting into writing again. Its happening slowly. So give me some damn time.

What are ladies thinking???? I don't call my self Lance Romañce for nothing, and for that reason I am taking a ball room dancing class, as dancing is romantic. What I don't like is when the ladies where perfume because it stanks all the way to the bank. Look, ladies. Please don't wear perfume. Wear deoderent, but not perfume. perfume stinks and makes me not want to dance with you. Thank you.

Many of you may remember the excitement i discovered by shaking hands with John Lennon's sperm, or king of the surf guitar Dick Dale. Well, one week ago today I got to touch a presidential canidate!!!!! That's right, like when Elvis shook hands with Richard Nixon, history was made last wednesday when Raplh Nader shook hands with musical sensation Lance Romañce. Lance Romañce reminds you to vote for Ralph Nader in the upcoming election.

Here is the track listing for my new CD:

Do The Blink (And Take Off Your Clothes)
Bruno Brown's Funk-Ass Beat
Mrs. Doubtfire Boogie Bop Hop Shop Chop Drop
Kung-Fu Fighting
The Kids Song
The Lets Hear It For Fire Safety Song
Winky-Doo Dinky-Lippy-Loo
Matt's Bithday
Money (That's Not What I Want)
Instumental
Macaroni, Macaroni
The Aviation Song
Sonnets Set To Music
The Bus Song
Disneyland of My Heart
Lance Romañce's Wiggle
Singin' In The Shower (The SHower Song)
Holly's Song


You know, I have one good reason for wanting George Bush to be president. I think that he will give us the most exciting time, and here is why: If george bush gets elected, i think there is a very good chance that he will get shot. Personaly, after watching the debates, how ever, I could care less wethert george bush or al gore win the next election, as I hate them both equaly. Ladies and gentalmen, Lance Romañce's officially backs green party canidate Ralph Nader. Those of you who think that voting for nader is a vote for bush are wrong because you for get the electoral system. If you are registered to vote in Rhode Island, first of all, there is no way Bush is going to win this democratic state. It has been said that even if Bush were the only person running, he still couldn't win Rhode Island. Even our republican senater is often considered a democrat, and you will just be helping nader show numbers so that in the next election he will have a fighting chance.

The way the electoral system works is that each state votes, and the people in the the state vote for which canidate they want the state to vote for. Consider your state, and wether the bush/gore canidate you prefer will win your state. If you think your state shares your preference, then by all meens, vote Nader. Though its true he won't win this election, by getting him the recognition in this election buy the amazing amount of people who end up votiong for him, in the next election, he CAN win, and thats why its important to voite for him. If you are curious on his political views, or would like to help out with his campaign, visit www.votenader.com

Remember what i said at the top about themailing list being back in effect??? I might have lied.

Anyhoo, thats it for now, loosers. See ya later, buy my album at www.giantrats.com.

Love,
The Beast With Big You Know Whats,
Lance Romañce


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
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©2000 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com