163: Two Year Anniversery
5;25;99 12\07Morn

Hey guys!!! Two yeaars of this mailing list!!! Not yet though, still a few more days. I guess its on Wednesday, on the 26th. Here is the very first list, reprinted:

>5-26-97
>Subject: HI ALL
>---------------------------------
>Hi all. i'm glad you have all joinned my list, there are
>of corse many more on the way, as most people have not recieved the add
>yet. But in the mean time, i would like to join each and every one of you.
>
>The federal roosters are back together! we will be recording an album in
>june, and it will hopefully be pressed into vinal, and we are going to
>hopefully get gigs at The Living Room and AS220. I will let you all know
>of when they are. We might even have a good connection with Aerosmith's
>club, MaMa Kin, in boston. so i hope you can all come see us there, thatll
>be a good show.
>Also look for the China Republics in your town. The china republics are a
>Federal Roosters tribute band. We should be touring by next summer i hope,
>and hit clubs in Chicago, Pa, Ca, Canada and NYC, and of corse several
>others. We will try to make appearences through the year too.
>
>Thanks for joing the list. I'm Chevy Chase and your not.
>Love,
>Ben
>
>
>gghdihh hsh ge eh hshh g sgeee dhhe dhsjdd sgehey tdjshdgf shsgegeg
>djgdggdgdgd ghsdghjbdbdghhdyey hello sir, how are you? i'm fine thank you.
>and your self? nothings really wrong, exceptr for the stab wound in my
>testicle. YUCK!! that must hurt. You bet it hurts, i can barely walk. then
>howd you get here? i ran. Oh. Ya, it doesn't hurt as much when i run. Just
>walking hu8rts. That seems odd, i'd thingk it'd work just the oppisite
>way. You never know with these things, always something different. You
>know it! don't I though? yeah, sure do. SO hows your wife? shes ok. Hows
>yours. SHes kind of sick, been throwing up a lot. Oh, sorry to here it.
>Don't be sorry, i'm the one who put poison in her chicken. Oh well. there
>might be a little check box that says


Ah, L'Memories......

I also present you with a brand new edition of the real world:

DMcpher960: hi 14/m wanna talk?
SarahBr629: yeah!
DMcpher960: hi how r u
SarahBr629: I'm ok, a bit horney, you?
DMcpher960: really
DMcpher960: how old r u
SarahBr629: 13
SarahBr629: how old are you?
DMcpher960: 14
SarahBr629: where do you live?
DMcpher960: mich u/
SarahBr629: RI
SarahBr629: i will be in mich in like 2 weeks
DMcpher960: really why?
SarahBr629: to visit my boy friend
DMcpher960: oh
SarahBr629: yeah
DMcpher960: have u ever had sex before?
SarahBr629: hes got a big cock
SarahBr629: no
SarahBr629: but i really want to
DMcpher960: me either how do u know he has a big one
SarahBr629: cause ive sucked it, duh!!!!
DMcpher960: oh
SarahBr629: have you ever sucked a cock?
DMcpher960: how come u didnt go all the way
SarahBr629: cause it was my peroiod
DMcpher960: oh
SarahBr629: have you ever sucked a cock?
DMcpher960: uh no
SarahBr629: would you like to?
DMcpher960: no im a guy
SarahBr629: oih. your afraid???
SarahBr629: If your a real man, you shouldnt be afraid of anything
SarahBr629: unles your a pussy
SarahBr629: hello?
SarahBr629: hello pussy face?
SarahBr629: fine, i wont be sucking your cock when I'm in michigan then
SarahBr629: since you obviously dont have one

THIS WEEK IN THE NEWS

NEW LIST MEMBER JOINS LANCE ROMAÑCE MAILING LIST
Early on Friday afternoon, a man by the name of Steve R. signed up for the Lance Romañce Mailing List. Who he is is unknown.

MESSAGE BOARDS FIXED
There were some troubles with the message boards on my web sight, which still resides at www.giantrats.com and those problems have been fixed, and the message boards now work, so go have fun posting dirty messages. Unfortunately, all previous messages have been removed, so new conversations need to be started.

LANCE ROMAÑCE TO START RECORDING NEXT ALBUM ON TUESDAY
Not even 2 months after the release of his first album, Lance Romance claims to begin recording his second album on tuesday, May 25th. He claims to have more than 30 songs written for this album, and will be writing more too. If all goes well, the new album, which is yet to be titled, should be available sometime in late augest. When asked about the recent shortages of his current album, "Sonnets Set To Music," Lance insisted he is working on the problem and HOPES to have more available by the upcoming weekend.

Here are the lyrics to one of his new songs, which will likely end up on the next album. It is called "Disneyland Of My Heart".

you make space
mountain look gay
you make tomarrow land
look like today
you make the matterhorn
crumble to the ground
you make a small world
look like a small town

you are the disneyland of my heart
your the disneyland of my heart

you make a flying dumbo
you would fly even higher
if you were a disney buck
i would be the buyer
you are the tea cups
swirling around my heart
if you were mr. toad's wild ride
i would be one of the carts

you are the disneyland of my heart
your the disneyland of my heart

you keep the main street light parade
from going dark
if you were 20,000 leages under the sea
i would be a shark
you make 360° Circlevision
seem square
you make the pirates of the carrabian
look like the country bears

you are the disneyland of my heart
your the disneyland of my heart

you make big thunder mountain
seem like the morning dew
if you were in the hall of presidents
i would vote for you
you make the Mark Twain Steam Boat
look like tom clancy
you make the the swiss family tree house
seem kind of antsy (carpenter ants!)

you are the disneyland of my heart
your the disneyland of my heart


And i think thats it for today. Anyways, thank you for celebrating my aniversery with me. Until next time, so long!!!

Love,
The Manic Mechanic,
Lance Romañce


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
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email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
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