156: The Water Song
4;25;99 7\45Nite

Well, you can always count on the water song to put out the fire song. As it turns out, i'm not fired, and i owe it all to the water song. Well, the water song had nothing to do with it but i dunno, im just still at work. That sucks cause i still have to work but is good cause i still get paid.

HEY ALL YOU OWNERS OF MY ALBUM!!!!
A mistake was made on your copy of the album!!! As wewll as the owners of the next 6 or 7. The spaces between the songs were too long, AND the level on The Crustation Song was too low, and the volume was a tiddy widdy low on I Like To Ejaculate. If you are getting the tape version, your copy will be perfect. But the biggest problem was the spaces between the songs were too long, lasting about a full second maybe. There really SHOULD be no space at all, but I couldnt avoid the smallest millasecond. "WHO CARES?" some of you are asking your selves. Well, i do. It really makes a big difference. The lack of space allows the album to have a nice flow and continuity to it. The spaces between songs make the song changes seem more abrupt and trhats just not as nice, the albumneeds to flow nice. This difference is best found between "Carolina" and "El Autobus Es Grande," where the change is often quite harsh. The lack of space makes it much much more pleasent. Another good example is between the songs "make up your own words" and 13, which the CD burner insisted on making too much space, destroying the "non-stop" medlying of the songs. The space rined the medley. Remember, its space that killed the astrunaut.

LETTERS:
The first letter is from non list member Annie J. of Trash, Duty:

Lance-

By some divine intervention or horrific mistake I received "Sonnets Set
To Music" in the mail yesterday. It cannot be a mere coincidence that it
fell into my lap on the self same day that I showed my breasts to all the
members of Lynchpin. [whoa.. this whooping cough blues thing sounds like
vomitting and it's giving me flashbacks to the last time I wretched and
it came out of my nostrils. drip, drip, drip off the tip of my norwegian
nose.] Anyways I have been inspired to do two great things. The next
time I go out I am going to wear a suit and tie and carry a rubber hose
in my pocket so I can use the urinal. ALSO I have decided that I will
patent the first duct tape tampon! The "string" will be made out of
fishing line and I will put a fish hook on the end (mostly just for
decoration in keeping with the "fish" theme) Maybe instead of hose I'll
fashion a penis out of duct tape in keeping with the duct tape theme! In
any case, I CANNOT WAIT until I get to menstruate again so's I can try
out my new tampon! I'll let you know what happens.

Annie Johansen

Dear Annie,
menstration has always fasinated me.
Love,
Lance

the 2nd letter is from Luiziana W.

Luiziana asked me noty to print her letter

Dear Luiziana,
Thats awsome! I'm proud of you!
Love,
Lance

In the mean time, I haave a week and half left of school then im done for good. I will be back in providence by the eve of my 8th THE LATEST. I will also be playing a conncert soon at Moses Brown, so some of you might like to attend. This summer, I plan being more preductive. I will start writing and thinking more regularly, and that should ultimately lead to a more intresting list. I have also submitted my CD to the good folks at Woodstock 99, and hope to play the festival this summer. If this happens, you are all invited to join my band, which would most likely gain you free admission to the festival, not to mention you would be performing at woodstock, not to mention youd be performing with me. I have also submitted my record to 88.9 fm in Los Angeles and Bong Load record. Tomorrow i send out more CDs, which will be going out to Shmmmy Disc Records, Matador Records, Venus Records, Mammoth Records, 104.1 FM Boston, and 95.5 FM Providence, and 90.3 FM Kingston. The 95.5 could possably land me on the bill of one of their free summer concerts, and we all know they are desperate for bands (how many times did gruvus malt play last summer?), and WRIU might likely put me on Space Jam, a live concert show which recently hosted listmember Dave N's band: Lynchpin. Though the idea of getting picked up and doing concerts is all hopes and dreams at the moment, its always worth a shot. I am aslo sending my record off to www.bandthings.com so that those of you who have credit cards can purchase them online. You may also order my CD from me with cash, check or money order. If you would like to do this, send $5 for each CD, or $3 for each auto-mobille ready cassette to:

Ben Garber
98 Elton st.
Providence, RI 02906

And now on to more boaring filler:
Your dear Lance has gone to two concerts in the past several weeks: JS Bach and MS Beethoven. Well, what i ment to say was Marilyn Manson and the Boston Music Awards. Marilyn Manson, was amusing, but was not as good as the contraversey makes him out to be. In fact, hes not much different from your average 80s metal band. But i did enjoy it. Nashville Pussy opened for them and they werent bad either. On a brigheter note, I attended the Boston Music Awards, right here in boston. It was horrable and not funny. Some times disapointing. Local heros The Royal Crowns were nominated 2 or 3 times but never once got an award. However, to my delight, other local heros Combustable Edison did win an award. However, they never went up to recieve it. In the end, the show was disappointing.

Anyways until next time, jumanji!

Love,
The Big Palpua,
Lance Romañce


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