139. 6 Hours and Gotta Stay Hungry
Hey stupids!!! Well, at 9 am i shall head out the door to new years eve. I camn't go to sleep tonight because i dont have very much time and i dont feel like using my alarm, so i am staying up all night ( i know i am supposed to wait till tomarrow but i will do it then too). But I am writing this mailing list to kill time so i am just gonna sit here and write it till its timne to go. I cant eat anything while i'm waiting though cause i am having an all you can eat breakfast tomarrow. Every year we meet at the Westin hotel downtown and have an all you can eat breakfast and decide what we are gonna do. This year there are like 30 or 40 of us (there really are) so it should be fun. I dunno. I just gotta save up room cause my goal tomarrow is tpo eat 100 pieces of bacon.
so, its 3.23 am... I supose you are all wondering what exactly new years is a celebration of. Well, your dear Lance Romañce does know what its about. You see, Jeses Christ was a Jewish boy. When Jews are born, they wait till the child is 8 days old, then they hold a special ceramony where the child is named. Jewish boys also get circumcized at this ceramoney. It is called a bris. Well, my friends, Jeses Christ was born on Christmas, or christmas eve or som,ething, and 8 days later is new years. The very date of jesus's bris marks the difference between AD and BC. But in the end, new years is really a celebration of Jesus's foreskin being removed so that people could see the tip of his penis. This is why its the only jesus related holiday i celebrate. But one thoing i dont get is, a lot of time churches and other places have plays on the birth of christ, but they never have a scene where the baby jesus is circumsized. That has always disapointed me. Wouldnt that be awsome if you went to a play and they circumcised somebody????
SO....... ive killed 10 minutes. How about i tell you some of the best albums of the year. Well, this year kind of sucked for albums, lance still misses the early 90s grunge movement, but here are my top ten: for 1998
Marlyn Manson - Mechanical Animals
The Donnas - American Teenage Rock N Roll Machine
Garbage - Version 2.0
Squirl Nut Zippers-Perenial Favorites
Combustable Edison-The Impossible World
Brian Setzer Orchestra-Dirty Boogie
Well, thats it really. Of all the albums Lance has bought that were made this year. Though i have bought hundreds of records from previous years that were fantastic!!! but i cant list those cause they are from the wrong years. I also didnt mention many
There were two particular albums Lance did buy this year that were both made this year. Those two records were Phish's Story of The Ghost, and the one to stay away from, Alanis Morrisstte's Former Infatuation Junkie. Both of those artist are once which Lance still appreciates some of their earlier work. And of corse it goes with out say, at ALL costs, stay away from DMB's reslease. Thats an impeachable offense right there.
ok letyters.... lets see what we have. Well, the first letter is from listmember Amy M. of Hula, Vampires:
You've got mail!!!
- amy m.
Who do you think you are? Steve Case or something???
the 2nd letter is again from Amy M:
You've got mail!!!
- amy m.
Why thank you. This is quite kind. Lets go see a movie this weekend. Just let me know what and when!
Now write in more mail everybody!!!
LANCE'S OFFICAL ANNOUNCEMENT OF HIS DECISOION TO RUN FOR MAYER:
Thats right!!!! Lance Romañce plans to run for mayer in the near future!!!! here are lance romañce key running points:
-Well, once in a while i am on post road in warwick. Or is it bald hill?? I dunno, they are the same. This area of the world always angers me, i really hate this place. Why???? BEcause every single place in that area is a big chain. There are NO inipendent buisnesses, it is an area over ruled by large corperations, and a place where Joe's Clothing Store just would not make it. Well, what makes me even angrier is the fact that i am watching this slowly happen to my own sweet town of providence. Over the past few years, on my own hang out of Thayer st, i have watched the commings of such big chains as Cafe Le France, Au Bon Pain, The Gap, and worst of all Starbucks. In my own naborhood, there is a new Subway, and even a block buster video now????? Oh no!!! Block buster is the worst video store ever been too, they are well over priced and they dont have ANY thing. I once tried to rent a volume of Monty Python's Flying Circus. They didnt even carry THAT!!! Just crazy. All these large corperations are coming into my town with their high prices and their lack of selection and their poor customer service and their strict policies, and they are taking up space where there could be fantastic buisnesses. They are building a mall downtown too!!! and you know what that means!!! More gaps!!! more starbucks!!! aggg!!!! I dont want this!!! I feel very bad for the kids who grow up in the area of warwick that is over run by big corperate chains, as they have no style, they arent a lowed to. The stores decide what they like. They really do!!! Providence is great cause there are all sorts of diffrerent types of stores so you can find what you like. Well, as mayer, i want to stop this. I want to limit the number of stores that corperations can have in the city. I want to say "look, star bucks. You can only have one location in this city. So make your choice or get the hell out." Then i've opened up plenty of new spaces for new and unique local buisnesses to set up shop and show the city how much better they are than star bucks. This would do wonders for our local econamy too. Not only would we bring in more revanues from local buisness, but it would bring in more outsiders. People who realise that Auntie May's Hip Clothes is a much better place than the gap, the warwick kids will start coming in more, cause Auntie May's is better, and its worth the trip. The way it is now, how ever, it doesnt matter if you go to the gap in warwick or the gap in tenesee. It will also make providence more of a tourest attraction, particularly for collectors, because of providence's unique arrey of shops and restaraunts that you cant find any where else. You see, if providence is over taken by large corperations, then it becomes no different from an other city and there fore there is no reson to be here over some where out in nevada. New York is a hip town cause it offers so much that you just kind find in other cities. Unfortunately, that too is being over taken buy corperation. But man oh man, boston is getting to be the worst. I'm, really starting to hate boston cause its just getting way to corperate and boring.
-Another law i want to make, one of the crazier ones, but you will all be pleased, is a law or all the record stores. This law is that at least one tenth of every record store in providence must be dedicated to the resale of used music. That will save YOU ALL LOTS of money. The other law i want to make is that one tenth of the store must be dedicaated to vinal!! This is my attempt to help vinal live a bit longer because digital really just sucks.
-You know how WBRU has free concerts every week over the summer??? I really like that idea. It wont be as comercial though, and bands wont be as bruish. I think it would be good to have more free concerts and soimiler events on a nightly basis. Every week, or more than that even, we would have one notable act and one local act. We could have local greats Clean and Friendly open for such notable acts as Barbra Streisand. Wouldnt that be great?? It would be a very diverse line up. I want the city to have more fun things. I promise to build a skate park for the skate boarders, and to get the cops off their backs. I would like to just have more things open and free for the public to enjoy. More fountains would be fun too. Water fire is a very nice idea. Though its kind of boaring..... we could play with it more though. But more things like that, ya know??? Any idea people have i would love to hear. And with the bettered local econamy from stronger local buisness, that would just make it much more possable.
those were my two main laws. I also plan on getting rid of the Fleet Bank logo from the skating center. I will replace it with the phrase "skate safely."
I am not sure of many other thing i wish to accomplish as mayer. I will be sure to make sure Superintendent Zarella is killed. That man really is evil. But, if you are living in providence, i hope you will registar to vote and will support me in my efforts to fight off corperation.
Well, its now 4.30. Hmmm.... I guess i will call it a list. Just 4 and a half more hours. Well, have a good day and write in some more mail. But in the mean time, good night.
The Milk Man,
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