134: oooooooh!!!! me finger be bloody!
12;1;98 5\17Nite

hello every one. my fookin finger is el bleedo la bido. i have no bandidos either, so thats a problemo. fucko. i am weiting with just one finger.

Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my birhday!!!!!! I completely forgot about it until non list member maura m said to me "your birthday is monday, isnt it?" I xsaid no because i didnt think it was, but then she showed me her little calender and i said "damn it." This sucks, turning 19 sucks. Being 19 sucks.

the first letter tonight is from list member Julie F. of Na, Zi:

Now Ben, after reading your latest mailing I became very upset. How could you have cut you hair? worse than that, why did you cut it yourself? the least you could've done was let me cut it again. you see, i think that I did an excellent job last year with your hair-cutting. granted, you looked like a fire victim afterwards but considering the circumstances... i mean i don't think anyone could have done better with a women's bic razor on the stairs of the convention center. and how dare Dick tell you to cut your hair yourself! You need me to do those things for you, right? anyway, i just wanted to tell you that i am greatly saddened by your lack of confidence in my hair cutting ability. did you know that i wanted to be a hair dresser, well not anymore thanks to you! maybe you could glue the hair back on and then i'll cut it.
-Julie

Dear Julie,
As much as i dispise your frog ridden hands, i just might let you do it again. Does that turn you on?
Love,
Lance

the 2nd letter id from Amy M. of Vhocolate, mnoyse:

Happy Thanksgiving kiddos! What's up? I'm listening to some Bush while the fam's arguing about politics in the parlor. So, what's up? There are a couple of people on this list who normally haven't been so hello to all of you. Occasionally I snap and lose sanity and type these really long letters and tell you what's going on with me, Amy Medeiros. YaY!! Anyway-- last night I worked and Shaw's was a mess! There were so many fucking people! I say that next year everyone should go eat at Boston Market and make them work instead. I don't even like Boston Market but that's ok.Then I came home and Andrea came over, yay Andi! Also, yesterday I went up to Classical with Kelly Flynn and we visited teachers. it's so sad without Mr. Sargent! aww. my mom made this funky green bean and french onion casserole thing for Thanksgiving and she made me try it and it was gross! and then she asked me what I thought of it and I said it was gross and now she won't speak to me b/c she's insulted. Grrr....Parents should be banished from the Earth. Actually, no, I get along with my dad quite well, he's dating a ditz but that's his own stupidity. She's as dumb as a brick wall on crack. I'm serious! She laughs at the dumbest things.
Tomorrow is Friday..I'm going out all day with Jenn, Andrea, Kelly, Kelly, Jeff?, Sheila?, ummm I think that's all folks.If i forgot, oh well. I broke a nail at work yesterday because of all the stupid turkeys that I had to lift. Grr...! Eat HAM, it's a lighter item! my life is boring lately. not much going on. Tuesday night I was up til 530a wednesday morning typing out a 1200wd history paper, and that is precisely why Rhode Island College sucks my ass to really large proportions. Oh, well, I think I've tortured you all enough for now, I'll go away. Talk to you later.

Love, Amy

Dear Seventeen Subscriber,
No, please torture me more. Now let me get this straight: you went back to high school to visit TEACHERS? Who cares about the actual people??? I dunno what to say. I'm kind of offeneded. The last thing teachers need is encouragement.
Love,
Lance


So i dunno, what a weekend. anyways, thats about it. some stuff happond this past weekend, but i dunno what. Well, yeah i do, but who the fuck really cares????

Anyways, i will see you later, kids.

Love,
Your American Tale,
Lance Ro fucking mañce


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