130: Nevermind The Bullocks
11;17;98 4\00Nite

good morning, children. how the fuck are you all doing THIS after noon?

Ok, well, my birthday party this year will be the best one yet. On Monday December 7th, my 19th birthday, Dave Mathews is playing i believe at the Worcester Centrum in Worcester, Mass. We are gonna go and protest!!! We are going to demand that DMB be destoyed and we are gonna stand outs side protest and picket and encourage people to boycott DMB because he sucks so much and hes an ass hole and a moron. If we are lucky we will get arrested. If we are really lucky, we will get DMB to not play. We are gonna protest DMB the same way those fuck faces protest Marlyn Manson, only we arent gonna bring religion in to it cause religion sucks too. But it will be a good birthday and a good protest. SO come and join me in my birthday celabration fight DMB!!!

i like people with style. When some one has style they are automaticly cool. Style is what sets people apart from every one else, people with out style just end up being bland and boring. And im not talking just like clothes and stuff, its music and cars and, of corse, shades. A lot of people read stlye magazines like vogue and elle and 17 and stuff. These people who are following style have no style. I mean, they are followers. How can followers have style?? It doesnt make sense to follow style, cause thats stupid and boring. When you have your own style its all cool, but the people who are so obbsessed with style are the people who have none, and i just thought that was kind of intresting, and i had nothing else to write here. But, the lesson here, kids, is that all you really need are some cool shades and you're all set. It doesnt matter if your big and ugly or if you are homeless or if everything about you sucks. As long as you have some cool shades, you all set.

So i complain plenty about my room mates. But here is what my room mates complaints of me are, or what i think they are.

-When i take a shower, i get the floor wet.
-I'm messy
-They don't like rock n roll
-I don't always write messages down (but i do tell them, but they have a thing about writing down, but i dont always have a pen handy! but at least i tell the bastards)
-I have a sense of humor
-I clog the toilet (i cant help that!!! thats cause of the damn pipes here!!! But i bought a plunger and i always unclog it as soon as i can).
-I am not white enough
-I lissen to records and not CDs (they just dont get it)
-My microwave is slow
-I live with them
-I wear the same pants for days

thats all i can think of. but i think im a good room mate just cause i dont get in the way. UN like them, i am quiet and don't make a keep them up or anything, i am quiet and dont even turn the lights on when i come in and they are sleeping. I am also out of the room most of the time (they spend all their time in the room playing video games on MY tv which im hardly allowed to use). For the most part, they really dont know im here. My texan room mate came up with these 2 other guys from texas and they are ALWAYS in the room and they are SO noisy and SO texan it drives me nuts, and its like i have 4 room mates. I have also noticed that out of these 4 people, i am the only one who has made any new friends since i gotten here, i am not the only one who cant stand them. My friends complain constantly about what ass holes they my room mates are when my friends try to get in touch with me. One of my friends was walking by my room and saw my room mate left his keys in the door. My friend knocked on the door and gave my room mate his keys back, and my room mate didnt say anything and justtook them and then just slammed the door in his face and my friend dint appreciate that very much. Or the way they come in when i'm lissening to music and turn on their "progressive rock" on and get it louder and louder and till they drown out the music i was lissening to. I'm not saying i'm a perfect room mate, but damn it those 2 guys are horrable.

The first letter this week is from listmember Bat M. of Openwound, MN:

Dear Lance,
So I am too boring for you? eh? I perfectly happy being a boring person. Boring people get more sleep. I think that you are a bitch!
Bat M.

Dear Bat M,
You don't get bored of being boring??? Being a bitch has its exciting moments, you know.

The 2nd letter is from Dick M. of Ow, Ch:

Dear Lance,
People are always coming up to me and asking, "Dick, whatever happened to
bank robbing?"
I'm forced to say, "I reckon I don't rightly know the answer to that,
Honey Thighs."
Well, all those people are just as disillusioned about the modern state of
affairs as I am. I remember the days when people were afraid to wear ties
because they might get baby seal skin thrown at them. No more do I see a
game of keep away with some guy's briefcase on the subway. Which brings me
directly to my point: I hate banks. I, for one, am never going to use a
credit card or a check, get a loan or an account, buy or trade stocks, or
add up a column of numbers and if that means not paying taxes then so be it.
Banks are the most evil institutions in this land. Their whole job is to
make money off of you and you get nothing in return. They take your
bathhouse if you don't pay the mortgage. They make sure if you take out a
loan to buy a wife that you'll be paying back the interest for the rest of
your life. And, they have hundreds of other ways that usually the fine
print grants them to make sure that if you give them any money you'll never
see it again or if you have any interaction with them whatsoever they find
some way to weasel it away from you. Remember when the banks actually went
bankrupt and all the presidents were embezzling money from the account
holders back in like 1994?
For these reasons, I fully advocate bank robbing. Let look at Bonny and
Clyde, two of my favorite historical figures. They were good people who
figured out that rich men who profit off stealing from the poor don't
deserve to keep that money. They were never going to hurt anyone and the
only reason things turned bloody was that the coppers thought that money
was more important than lives.
Unfortunately, things have gotten out of hand recently. Bank security has
become more sophisticated and stronger because the plutocrats realized that
some people weren't going to let them do this. Nowadays, Robin Hoods have
to abandon their tommy guns and learn how to hack computers to make
transactions without the dimwitted managers and security guards catching
on. What I think is that this is just senseless escalation and it needs to
stop. The outlaws are always going to be cleverer than the heroes are and
this is demonstrated in every cartoon I saw when I was a kid. What needs to
happen is the banks should to give back all the money they've taken from
people and then the Bank of Boston on Thayer Street needs to move out so
Miko can move in. To quote from Putney Swope: "Get off of my short, baby!"
Dick M.

Dear Dick,
Its a shame the way the government tries to force people to use a bank to get paid, cause they require that people to get paid in checks. In fact, i think the question on most people's mind is "How do you get paid with out a bank account?" Well, there is a better method that i like, and thats called getting paid under the table. Dick, you need to mention this.

Well, thats about it for now. Man, this list sucked. Oh well, what can you do. Just be sure to send in some letters.

Anyways, until next time, see ya later.

The Inventer of The Crap,
Lance Romañce

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