128: Its Trickey To Rock A Rhyme To Rock A Rhyme
11;13;98 12\32Nite

Hi every body. This is Lance again, writing to you again, with no circular purpose.

So i said surf music is fantastic, so you went out and got the pulp fiction sound track and were like "wow, it is great." Well, i know you want more great music to explore, so here is my guide to great musical genres that you haven't yet explored, but you probably should. A very helpful thing when exploring music is a record player, because you sure as he;ll wont find many good CDs. Not to mention, for the price of a new CD, you can get 2, 3, 4, 5, or maybe 6, 7, sometimes even 18 obscure used records, so you save a lot of money and have a lot more options, so its all good. Anyways, here is your musical guide:

Zombie Surf: Its kind of like surf, but there is more organs and insted of the music being about surfing, its about zombies and skelatins and its just very holoween themed. Check out music by The Bomboras, they are the best ones. The 2nd best is the Ghastly Ones, but get the Bomboras first.

Twang: Twang is a great instrumental genre, which combines rock n' roll with twang. The first person you should check out when exploring twang is Duane Eddy, the king of twang. If any of you have the Forrest Gump sound track, you can find Duane Eddy and his "Twangy" Guitar playing Rebel Rouser, which is not only his signature, but the only twang song to ever hit the top 40. I think. When you buy some Duane Eddy, make sure that what ever you buy has Rebel Rouser on it.

Rockabilly: Who else can I recomend?? THe Stray Cats. I knwo you all know the brian setzer orchestra cause they sing that Jump Jivin song on the radio a lot now, but before he was doing big band, he was the frontman for the rockabilly band the Stray Cats. Rockabilly is cool cause, its similer to punk rock but its not as obnoxious and distorted. Most rocksabilly are based upon swing and clean guitar chords, and a boogie woggie bassline, played on an up right bass, and all the lyrics are about broken hearts and cars, and sung in a gentler voice. Go out and get your self some Stray Cats, i recomend the album Built For Speed if you can find it. Just make sure your first stray cats album has the song "Rock This Town" on it.

Boogie Woogie: Boogie Woogie is the funnest kind of music there ever was. Another instrumental style, man its just awsome. Its like rockabilly, but its based more on lines than chords. And if you want some good boogie woogie, i have to turn you over to Arthur "Guitar Boogie" Smith, cause you know anyy one who's middle name is "Guitar Boogie" must be rockin. His signaturew song is called "Guitar Boogie" and is a standard in the boogie woogie scene.

Cha Cha: This is fun. Its instrumental and you just know how to dance to it imediatly. There arent many lyrics, its just a latin beat with strong horns, little guitar. If there are any lyrics, they are in spannish. If you want good cha cha, just pick out a record that says "cha cha cha" on it.

Punkabilly: Its rockabilly, but its got the distortion on, and there is more yelling and shouting, and there is more hair grease and leather jackets and all the local punks love it. The best band to get is none other than our very own The Amazing Royal Crowns. Unfortunately, do to ass holek legal action taken by the royal crown review (an evil band), the Amazing Royal Crowns are now billed as The Amazing Crowns (but still royal to the loyal). Get their album.

Lounge: I don't know a lot of lounge, but i like what i know. This is another mostly instrumental music. WHile all the music above is aimed at cats, lounge music is for swingers, and all the music is about drinking cocktails. The only band i really know in this genre, however, is another local hero, known as Combustable Edison. Fantastical. Their sound is nice and mellow, and they use electronic instruments, such as electric pianos, electric organs, electric guitars.... its not techno!!! This is NOT electronic music, its just many of their lead instruments require electricity. They also use xylaphones and things some times, they are kind of exotic. Do you remember OK Soda??? Way back in 94, Combustable Edison's music was used on the only OK Soda comercials ever made.

Bill Justis: This guy is undefinable. I got one album and it was twang, and another one that ended up being kind of lounge/boogie woogie, so i don't know what to call him. Just make sure you get his signature song, "Raunchy". This guy is great, one of my favorites.

Well, thats just a small bit of what you can look into. If you're in the providence area, i recomend heading over to In Your Ear on Thayer st. Unfortunately, most of these musical styles are too small to be granted their own section, but just look through the Rockabilly and Exotica sections and you will find plenty pof fantastical music. Don't just look for these guys though, get what looks cool. If you don't get what you don't know, you only limit your musical horisons and you entrap your self in the boring world of Top 40. Top 40 is boring cause there are only like 40 bands. When you explore past those initial 40, you realise there is much better music just sitting there, and you will be glad you found it.


The first letter this week is from list member Eric R. of Walk, Don't Run:

Dear Lance,
One day I was writing this magnificent story about children
fingerpainting with syringes and bottles of lighter fluid. People were
rushing by me left and right while I wrote. At one point my pen slipped
and it impaled one of those silly running people and he dropped dead. I
meandered over and removed the pen, then continued writing with the blood
of the fallen runner man. Those people kept running back and forth back
and forth trying to feed papers into the mouth of a giant angry face
mounted on the wall. Occasionally a large cigar came down and burnt the
head of one of the runners to a crisp. I walked over with my mindless
writing doodles that come so natural to me and I fed it into the mouth.
It shut immediately and lights began to twirl and it made delightful
sounds. The runners ran back and forth searching for a new opening to
squeeze their papers into. I sat and watched the mouth change colors
while the runners began to whither and disappear...
- Eric

Dear Eric,
I once saw a bunny rabbit hop over a bush and it turned into a bush. The bush hopped away and ate my friend. My friend died.
Love,
Lance

The 2nd letter is from list member Vikki H. Apple, Green:

HEY LANCE!!!! HAPPY soon to happen BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Do realize that now we have know each other for um... thirteen years? We
sure have come a long way since our days with MaryJane and me as a
dalmation and you as a donkey!!! HE he he. Well, hope you have fun on
your birthday and you give your roomates a royal beating(Ill do it gor
you if you want, I have a big, black, fierce, field hockey stick that
doesnt like Texans.) Anyway, love ya lots, Vikki


Dear Vikki,
firstly its not my birthday for a month so shut your trap until its time. 2ndly, nope, its only been 11 years. 3rdly, i have a lot of big, black, firce things that don't like texans.
Love,
Lance

Sned in your letters!!! Sned new memboros!!!!

Man, the past few weeks i've gone back to Providence maybe 3 or 4 times. I frequently have to get up iun the morning to catch a train, and its kind of wierd cause i would get up and leave the house around 7 am and take the same path i've been walking at that same time for the past 4 years. Remember when you woulod used to see me walking up angel st. with my kix 106 back pack everyday at 7.30??? Man, those were the days. Well, no, cause high school sucked, but still. I was waiting for Hunter to drive by and honk his horn, but for some reason, the little bastard just never did.

Last week i invited other people to interview me, so i did. List member Nate D. Took me up on that offer, so here it is.

Nate D. (11\17Morn): may i ask you a few questions?
Lance Romañce (11\17Morn): yes
Lance Romañce (11\18Morn): sir
Nate D. (11\18Morn): BEN GARBER'S INTERVIEW:
1. Would you call yerself pro or anti?
Lance Romañce (11\19Morn): no comment
Lance Romañce (11\19Morn): i mean
Lance Romañce (11\19Morn): no way
Nate D. (11\19Morn): 2. What is your cat doing in my yard?
Lance Romañce (11\20Morn): peeing
Nate D. (11\20Morn): 3. What the hell?
Lance Romañce (11\20Morn): Good questiion
Nate D. (11\21Morn): 4. Finish this sentence: I am no ____________
Lance Romañce (11\22Morn): waldorf hanson
Nate D. (11\25Morn): 5. Why do you think the people?
Lance Romañce (11\25Morn): i dont think the people
Lance Romañce (11\25Morn): that was just a rumor
Nate D. (11\26Morn): 6. And hoe does that make you feel?
Lance Romañce (11\26Morn): giddy
Lance Romañce (11\26Morn): how does it make you feel?
Nate D. (11\26Morn): 7. no comment
Nate D. (11\26Morn): 8. What is yo mama doing in my yard?
Lance Romañce (11\26Morn): peeing+
Lance Romañce (11\27Morn): and watching the cat
Nate D. (11\27Morn): 9. Would you consider yourself Leonardo DiCaprio?
Lance Romañce (11\28Morn): no, am more of a leonardo davinvi
Nate D. (11\28Morn): 10. Can you believe that?
Lance Romañce (11\29Morn): i wont believe it until i see it
Nate D. (11\29Morn): 11. Why does that keep you going?
Lance Romañce (11\29Morn): i am curious
Nate D. (11\30Morn): 12. Which do you prefer: Eating the hand that feeds you or handing the feed that eats you?
Lance Romañce (11\31Morn): Eating the hand that feeds you
Nate D. (11\31Morn): 13. Me too.
Lance Romañce (11\32Morn): 14. thantom
Nate D. (11\35Morn): 15. Would you bite me?
Lance Romañce (11\35Morn): if you asked me to, no
Lance Romañce (11\35Morn): but might lick you
Nate D. (11\36Morn): 16. If you were vice president, you would be a bad vice president.
Lance Romañce (11\36Morn): depends on the country
Nate D. (11\37Morn): 17. Name three capitals of Tallahassee
Lance Romañce (11\37Morn): Chantilly Lace and Grasshopper Canyon Companion
Nate D. (11\38Morn): 18. Wrong! Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Lance Romañce (11\39Morn): im not in it for money
Nate D. (11\39Morn): 19. Who is your favorite Beetle?
Lance Romañce (11\39Morn): June
Nate D. (11\40Morn): 20. and for my last question, Why did you do it?
Lance Romañce (11\41Morn): money
Nate D. (11\41Morn): and sex
Nate D. (11\42Morn): Thank you, mr Romance... This interview will be appearing in The Lance Romance nesletter anytime soon... You're a star!

Hey, i gotta send a shot out to list member Bat M. Last week i said that list member Bat M's profile was boring and dull and it sucked. Well, it did. But shes not dull and boring so if anyone got that impression from it, shes actually pretty funny most of the time. She just took that profile too seriously, but shes pretty cool. Her sister on the other hand, list member Val H, shes the boring one. Shes not very funny, she ends up being rather bitchy a lot. So if you see them walking down the street together and you think to yourself "which one is the bitch?" Remember, its not the one with the boring profile.

Anyways, thats it for this week. Until next time, see ya later!!!

Love,
Your Excuse To Not Check Your Email,
The Captain Lance Romañce


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