124: The Lance Romace Mailing List
10/25/98 1:35 AM

Welcome to my new address. OInce again, my mailing list will no longer be sent from hevanscent@aol.com and will insted be sent from this address, tendonitus@aol.com

Why the change??? Well, hevanscent@aol.com wasn't my idea, i saw it some where else and liked it, so i made it one of my screne names. This was way back in march of 96. I've wanted to get rid of it for a little while now, but haven't, but am finely doing it. I will be deleteing it probably in about a week. But i assure you that tendoniyus was my idea. Just ask your doctor!!!

Grrrr.... I am pissed off. Why??? Well, i have 2 room mates. Both my room mates are morons. Now, i am not just saying they are morons cause i dont like them or because i just thuink they are morons, but these two guys ARE morons, and thats a fact, not oppinion. They are defanition morons. They might be ok if you don't live with them, but, oh man... The first room mate is from some where in massachusettes, i forget where, but its a 508 area code. His name is Jason and he is a moron. To be more spacific, he is a savere nerd. He has very little sense of humor and takes everything too seriosly.

Example: A few weeks ago, I attended a concert of They Might Be Giants, which he attended as a seperate party. They might be giants, at one point, asked the crowed how many people were from the berklee college of muusic. Some one near the front held up their berklee ID, and john flansburg looked right at him and said "you'll never get a job." It was pretty funny, cause there was a bit of other things said between there, and it was just funny. My room mate was apperently so offended he left. Now can you imagine this guy living with me?

Another thing i don't like about him is musical taste, which makes a difference when you live in the same room. He does not allow me to lissen to Rage Against the Machine, but forces me to lissen to countless hours of rush, emerson lake and palmer, and the ever sickening elton john (i used to like crpocadile rock cause it was funny but oh man, he really really just man im gonna break his stereo if he plays it again). He takes music very seriously. I was sirprised that he likes they might be giants, because they might be giants aren't serious at all. He doesn't like rock n roll.

ROOM MATE NUMBER TWO: Kyle! Kyle is some one who i like to refer to as simply as the texan. He is extrordinarily annoying and a complete asshole.

-On monday, wednesday and friday, i have a class bright and early, at 9 am, he never seems to have classes before 11. I am not doing particularly well in my 9 o'clock class, which is Ear Training, and am frequantly quite late because of him. He is late to bed and early to rise, even setting his alarm on weekends. He never ever ever goes to sleep before 1.30 am and rarely wakes up after 7.30. And on top of that hes obnoxious about it, leaving lights on and turning his music loud WHILE I AM TRYING TO SLEEP. I come in some times dead tired, no one around and just decide to go to sleep at maybe 10 o clock. He comes in an hour later, turns on the lights and turns the TV on loud. He frequently comes in with his 2 friends, who i brought up with him from texas, and plays Nintendo 64, while cursing in thick texan accents {its kind of funny to hear them say "sheeit" and "beeitch" but it gets annoying quickly. not that they are swaring though, but that they yell. It is 12.53 right now and they are playing right now. Jason goes home every weekend so hes out of the way. But damn this kid. He once came in at 2 am and watched a movie loud, and woke up, and didnt care and kept me up till nearly 4 am (did i mention it was a horrable movie?). Hes absolutely careless.

Now the worst part about this is that it is my TV, and i really am rarely allowed to watch it. I probably wouldn't anyways, so i am gonna get rid of the TV, so if it any one wants to use it for a little while, let me know and i might just let you borrow it. Its a 20".

-Kyle farts an average of once every 5 minutes. This is true, i counted one night, and i am not exagerating a bit. And these arent kiddy farts, these are like real, big long smelly farts. If he doesnt fart, he at least makes farty noises with his mouth, burps, or fake burps. These are all quite full sized and just get over annoying.

-I am not allowed to keep any of my stuff near their stuff. I hooked up to my TV my 8 bit nintendo and a sega Genisis. He disconnected them and put them on my bed. Im not sure why, cause they werent in the way or a problem, and the play station and N64 and sega saturn that they brought are all hooked up. I dont like those systems at all, really. And it seems silly just because, i mean, it is my TV, i can get rid of the TV, so why cant i use my TV?

- Now this is just crazy. A friend of mine was over and he left a can of pepsi and a bag of nachos on Kyle's desk. I though kyle wouldnt like that, so i through tem in the trash can. But woops!!! I threw them in KYLE's trash can. I came in later and noticed that he actualy moved that trash out of "his" trash can and into "my" trash can. Bu bu bu but wait it gets worse!!! Tonite that same friend was over and had a bag of chips and he through out his chips this time. After he had left, kyle came in. He didn't say anything for a little, but then he became pissed off. He said in his texan voice, "why the fuck do you keep putting your trash in my trash can?" And he was so serious too. How serious was he??? Well, as he said it he took the empty bag of chips out of his empty trash can and put the bag into my trash can, which is all ready full. And he says im wierd??? Also, my trash can is full with stuff thats not mine, i think mainly from hios friends, or probably him even.

- Now as i said before, i have a class at 9 am every morning. I am sure to stay in my bed every day till 9.55, even if i am kept awake by that texan bastard, i am sure to keep my eyes shut and just get as much sleep sucked out of me as i can.. Now i dont know you, but when i get up in the morning, the first thing i like to do is pee. But kyle, who has been awake since 8 am the latest, decides to start showering at about 8.45, and stays in there till about maybe 9.05, after i have gone, which means i can't take a leak, which of corse means prostate cancer. But none the less, thats a PAIN in the huge ass. And since it is quiet when he is in the shower, i tend to fall asleep and miss most of my class.

-he doesnt allow me to lissen to dr. dre. He doesn't like music that you can move to, he hates rock n roll. How does he lissen to music??? Well, he doesnt just put music on and enjoy it, insted he sits down and analises it. I found it very funny when he yelled "hew goes up 4 half steps!" the other day when he was analising some of that music.

There are many other things i could comp,lain about him, but i will save them for next time. The lesson here is that jason is livable, but kyle is an ass hole (though they have become quite good friends.

I will also complain about why I am a bad room mate next issue. But im not as bad as this kyle muther fucker, i tell you. Kyle just farted. Its 1.21 am right now and they are still playing N64 and swaring in texan.

The first letter is from Liz G. of Hoo, Haa!

ben -

here's what REALLY happened on your seventeenth birthday. you and brent

lang and a few other people went to thayer street and hung around at cafÈ

la france for a bit and then went to ben and jerry's to get a cake. i

joined you there and ate some of the cake and it was good.

and yes, i danced with both of you at first night that year, and martha

looked at all of us like we were crazy.


Dear Liz,
Oh yeah!!!! You know what we did, is we ate the cake and asked them to hold on to it so i wouldnt have to carry it around all day. That monday, i stopped by to pick up my cake. Different clerks were working, so when i opend the cake and found it had been eaten, i yelled at them. Man, they were confused. Too bad i didnt do that really, but i wish i did!!

The 2nd letter is from Amy, with no last name, of Ceramic, Cactus (heh heh, remember them?):

I think Dave Matthews rocks! That's not fair! I am writing in defense of you spitting at Matt R., cus if you're going to spit at him- then you have to spit at me, too. But I don't like Blues Traveler. That blows.
Until pigs fly,

Dear Amy,

Anywyas, thats it for this mailing. Remember, find some new members and send some new letters. Also, dont for get to change ytopur clocks, and update your address books with this new address. Shots go out to listmembsrs Lani R, Val H and Bat M even, for helping me out el mucho la mucha, (Bat M, ask your sister if you aere confused) and to Erin S. cause she turned 19 the other day.

Anywas, until next time, dont let the beg buds bite.

Good night.

your parakeet trainer,
Lance Romañce

Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
©1998 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com