116: and to a close
9/25/98 7:36 PM
i want to get this over with and out of the way, so I'm gonna say some last words, then give it up to the deffense, and then its over. Im gonna respond to the letters below, before i print the letters so its kind of backwords.
This whole thing was not ment to be amusing or funny, and the fact that peoplewere saying it was funny took me be sirpsie me. I did think about what i said, and i feel that it was fitting. I still think that i was apropriate. It was more of a private letter to jerry, and was put on the mailing really just to get jerry's attention. The intent of the letter(s) was not to be humorous (with the exception of my responses to other peoples letters) but to give jerry a taste of his own medicine. And as closer friends have writen in to defend him, and maybe he is fine as a close friend, i dont know. I know him as he is generaly known, i know him from a bit more distance, and from here is where i got angry, and not just at what he has done to me, cause if it was just to me i wouldnt care, but in general. I got pissed off, and when i get pissed off i will do what i can to make the other person just as pissed as I am. Though not publicly, i did pretty much the same thing to list member Val H. just a few months ago, and i dont take back what i said to her either. I'm not one to butter things up just to make them nicer or what ever, im not one to take things back when I mean what i said. It wasn't ment as a joke or anything, as some think, but just to get accross to jerry that i was serious. But here are the opposing views.....
Dear Lance -
I'm used to being the Devil's Advocate, or the person that everybody ends up hating, and right now I don't have any friends anyway, so I might as well voice my opinion on Jerry and his obnoxious behavior...
Yeah, so he made a mistake. He shouldn't have usurped your mailing list. But notice, the first thing he did in his letter was to apologize profusely.
Secondly, noting the content of the letter, I think Jerry deserves a more lenient response to his letter. Obviously the poor guy's lonely - he misses everybody on the list, even the ones he doesn't know. I know how he feels. So please be nice to him and let everybody send him their email addresses and stuff, and overlook his little (okay, major) overstepping of the rules. I'm sure he won't let it happen again.
you have severely slighted on of my best friends in the world, over and
over again, and i am not going to stand for it. what he did was wrong
(kinda), but you just took the oppurtunity to totally blast him for
really no good reason. sure he can be an ass, but he is far from an
asshole 24/7, like you like to advertise to a nation of ben garber fans
that subscribe to your mailing list. he screws up, but so do i, and so
do you. Trust me, you do. i really do not appreciate you bad-mouthing
one of the most respecting, most giving people i know. sure he screws
up, but who doesn't???? i dare any member of this list to tell me
honestly that they never screw up. i dare you!!! jerry is actually one
of the nicest people i know. sure, he has his flaws, but who doesn't?
if you are going to go around slighting people for their flaws, please
do it to everyone. devote an entire list to pointing out every time
someone screwed up in their life. i volunteer to be the first person
for this, and i'll even give you a list of names of people with dirt on
me. but please never be such an asshole to jerry again, and especially
not in front of complete strangers. at first i didn't write in because
i thought it pretty funny that you were trying to give jerry a hard
time. but you have gotten severly out of hand, bordering on libel. you
have devoted three lists so far to badmouthing jerry, and that is just
too much. as the old theatre saying goes, "one is funny, twice is
funny, three times just isn't funny." you violated that rule, and
moreso, you really trashed a very good friend of mine. and a lot of
other people hold him in high esteem. ben, the kind of fun you were
trying to have at his expense was malicious and very, very deroguetory.
he was more than polite in his letters too you, much more polite than he
needed to be, and a hell lot more polite than i would have been. but
your response to him was purely asinine. you once again showed how
stupid you can be at times. you need to be thought to think. jerry, i
apologize that i didn't come to your defense earlier, but i thought it
was all fun and games, you know? but the last two letters conveyed a
sense of a witchhunt for you, out for blood or some sort of vengence.
vengence for what i dunno, but there was definite malicious intent.
lance, you acted like a total moron. you should apologize for what you
said to jerry. you treated him like he was just some object to get your
rocks off with. i still think of you as a friend, but i dont want to
see you hurt any of my friends like this again.
ben, YOU need to learn to think.
Hey Ben, this is potential list member Vikki just writing in with a few
comments. Im sure I can be blunt with you due to the length of time we
have been acquaintances, and I hope it wont bring any disrepute upon me.
Here goes. Now please dont strike me down for this because I know I may
well be playing devil's advocate in many of your eyes, but making a
mockery of somebody's very existence is more than just a joke. Jerry,
sure, Ill admit that sometimes he drives me crazy, but there honestly is
a lot more to him than that. He has his flaws, yes, but so do all of us,
and I would want to crawl into a hole and die before somebody made all
of mine public. I understand that, for whatever reasons, you do not hold
Jerry in very high esteem, and maybe you are right to feel that way.
However, I dont think its fair to influence many of your list members
who dont even know him to feel the same way you do when they have no
reason to. Jerry is not an evil person, no matter what he might do to
make you believe that he is. There are so many times when he has done me
big favors and never asked for anything in return. I appreciate him for
that. I appreciate him for being incredibly loyal, for being respectful
to his friends, and for caring about them, which I really believe he
honestly does. Now maybe you all feel that I just dont know enough about
Jerry to say that he isnt good, but I have spent the past four months
seeing him every day,and what I do know of him from that time and the
years before that time makes me believe that he is no different from me
in many ways, and nobody spends three mailing lists cursing my very
existence. I care about him and I dont want to see him hurt, and I
honestly think that you hurt him very much whether he let you see it or
not. You can hate him all you want, but please just let him be.
You can decide to excommunicate me from your list for this, but I will
stand by what I say. I want you to post it, and Pete's letter, and
Martha's so perhaps Jerry will see that he does have real friends.
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