112: fuck the police!
9/17/98 4:04 PM
hi every one. It is now star date thursday afternoon. I only have 2 dollars and 85 cents left to spend. Most of it will probably be spent tonite on my usual dollar 75 dinner of a slice and a coke. Mmmmm-delicious.

I thought you would all like to read a poem i wrote when i was 13, i wrote it at summmer camp. This is one of the best poems i ever wrote that i wrote. Here goes.

My ass
shall soon pass
a large mass
of gas
and id be sirprised if any one could last
the blast
from my ass

Do you like it???? I personaly think its ingenious. But then again, thats just my oppinion. It was inspired by my friend Bruno, who is always talking shit.


My room mate farts in his sleep.

Guess what everybody!!!!! I am in a new band!!!! We are gonna have a practice tomarrow. I guess we are doing punk rock, and i guess im the drummer but im not sure. I really want to be the lead singer. No name yet, but ill write you all this weekend and let you know.

The first letter is from Allison J. of Cocksucker, NJ:


my boss saw you swearing at me thanks a lot, dont swear at me unless
i respond to you!
ALLISON


Dear Allison,
you got in trouble because i swore????? honey, what you need is a new job with an inteligent boss. there is nothing wrong with the word fuck, all my teachers use it, and all my friends use it, its just as commin a word as hello, possobly more common. So if your boss has a problem with the way i talk then tough shit cause thats how i talk. you actualy want me to stop and say to my self "thats a bad word?" Fuck no!!! Tell your boss to go back to church where she belongs.
Love,
Lance

The second letter is from Jerry St. J. of Sesame, st:

Hey Ben, it's Jerry
Remember that time about a ago when you really needed a ride and I gave
you one, well, I was wondering if you could return the favor.

Two things, first off I want to extend an open invitation to you and
everyone else on your mailing list to come by and visit (or stay the
night if they need a room in Boston). My adress is 277 Babcock St.
room 705, Boston Ma. 02215. Anyway, I am also trying to decorate my
room with cool stuff from my friends and associates, so I want people to
send me pictures and themselves and all sorts of other cool artsy things
and nifty decorations. If I use what they give me, which I most likely
will, they will be rewarded for their trouble. My mailing adress is Box
1139 at the above adress (277 Babcock St., Boston Ma, 02215) Post
cards, pictures, and anything else is welcome and greatly appreciated.
By the way, if the postage is expensive, I can compensate the person for
it.

So I was wondering if you could include those messages in a portion of
your ever so popular and wide spread mailing list. I would greatly
appreciate the favor. Get back to me and let me know if that's okay
with you.

Enjoy Berkley, see you around on the subway or something.

Sincerely, Jerry

Dear Jerry,
Yes i remember the time you gave me a ride when I need one, and you made me pay. So what are the rates on staying in your dorm?????? Excluding your self, are there any rats or cock roaches????
Love,
Lance

Send your letters in to me and find some new members!!!!! Instructions are the bottom!!!

You know english classes suck.

Guess what everybody!!!! YOur all in luck!!!! Well, at least if your near providence. There is a small surf festival coming to The Met. Tickets are 7 bucks, and you get to see the Bomboras and like 4 other bands and it will be more than just awsome, it will be super cool!!!!!! If you dong go i will sware at your while your boss watches.


I also got a job now. I work for the berklee college of music, and i take peoples student id cards while they use the drum practice rooms. I havent started yuet though and i dont know when i will.

In case your forgot, my address is:

Lance Romañce
Berklee College Of Fuckers
69 Fiddleydee Ave.
Box. 69
Boston, MA 69696

heres a special section. its called LOST IN SPACE. Here it is.
































































































































































































Anyqays thats it for this week. Im just too bored to write this dan mailing, so send me in some letters, some comments, some insults, and just generaly bad things, and maybe ideas for furture special sections. Maybe a sequal to lost in space??? Aslo, find some new memebers. See yall sunday. Have a nice day and keep on sayoing the word fuck.

Love,
The S,
Lance Romañce


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
---------------------------------------------
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
---------------------------------------------
©1998 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com