104: Clinton/Gore 96
8.6.98 3\13Nite

Yo mo mo. Waddap waddap???? Now for another game of holy wood squares. Lets meet out celberties.

Everybody, i would like to welcome you back to my mailing list. Though there is not much to say, i will make something up. Lets talk about trees please.

Here are just some of the good things about trees:
-they are tall
-they block the sun
-they are green
-they are old
-they burn easy
-they make syrup
-they are very erotic
-they are good friends
-they throw apples at Dorathy when she tries to pick an apple in the wizard of oz
-they provide us with oxygen
-they are imunes to cancer
-they make good logs
-they don't poop
-they are good swimmers
-they dont like dogs
-they look like listmember Emmanuel S.
-they are good at poker
-they're leaves make good snacks

Here are some of the bad things about trees:
-they crush cars
-they fly
-they can hold their breth for over two hours
-they dont like rock n roll
-they make paper
-they make pencils
-they make birds
-they make squirls
-they are foul mouthed
-they are brown
-they eat squirls
-they don't like r rated movies
-they are necrofeliacs
-they are too good at poker

There is a new item being added to the Lance Romañce store!!!! Though it will not be officialy listed until the next issue, here is what Nate D. has to say about it:

> I play with my parents and my sister in the World Cafe Quartet. We play
>a mixture of brazilian, jazz, french and other international musical
>influences. But this aint no cleanandfrendly . Anyway we have a cd
>called "Metro" personally this cd means alot more to me than clean and
>frendly because i rilly like the music and one song that i wrote is on
>their.

so pick it up!!! To get it, write to powai@aol.com and just let him know you want it. Cause you do want it. I have not herd it yet, but i did love Nate D's family's Clean and Friendly effort, so i can't wait to hear this one. I am excited, i feel all tingly. Do you feel tingley??? If you do, or even if you don't, get Nate D's CD today!!!!

the first letter is from Emmanuel S. of Sally wally, Poodle Pie:

[Lance],
I like the site...but you've GOT to get rid of the scrolling
javascript! Can you replace it with some "window.status" indicators?

Thanks,
Emmanuel


Dear Emmanuel,
the scrolling is one of my all time favorite parts!!!! And extra windows would annoy me. All though i do appreciate your feed back and normally would do more to help you like it better, i love the scrolling too much to get rid of it. So, im sorry. Most other complaints will be addressed to suit your complaints better. I do plan on revising the scrolling text so that it will be more intresting insted of just and advirtisement. I will do that this week, its on my checklist in my head.
Love,
Lance

the second letter is from Marrissa L. of Warwick, RI:

[Dear Lance Romañce,]
no one won [the powerball]....but good try =)
[Love,
Marrissa]

Dear Marissa,
you don't believe I won, do you.
Love,
Lance

Come on, people now, write me a letter, every body get together right now.


lets write some lymerics now.

There once was frog who did vomit
And he vomited all over a commet
the commet came down
and landed on a clown
and now the clown is all covered in vomit

there once was a dog with a shoe
the shoe was dog gone new
but the shoe was laced
with a poisonous race
of insects from neptune

Do you have any lymerics???? Send them to me. I will hold a lymeric contest, so get those lymerics a rolling down my email chimney.

The moral writing contest is over. Why??? Cause i really cant write any more stories. I am too drained from creative writing that stories are just right out of my league right now. But if you want some of my stories to read that i wrote this past year, please go to http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/dmb_sucks.html and click on the "Writing Sucks" link.

And with all this commotion about writing, here is somethng a list member wrote. List member Allison J. wrote this, so here ya go. Read it.

>"hey john, will you go to the store for me, i only need a few things."
>"i guess so, but i have to be back in 20 minutes jane is going to be
>calling and i want to be here when she does."
>"o.k. i need two large cucumbers, six bright yellow bananas, i gallon of
>melted milk chocolate, and some whip cream. here i will give you some
>extra money, so you can get something for yourself too."
>"write it down i will never remember that."
>john left, he got into his old beat up chevy nova and headed out to the
>store. on the way there he noticed that his car was running on empty. so
>he went to the closest gas station and put $4.20 in. that was the extra
>cash his mom gave him, what an odd amount. the woman at the register told
>him that if he put another $.30 in he could get a free car wash. john was
>so broke that he had to refuse, knowing that the car wash wasnt going to
>improve the look of his car anyway. he finally got to the store and it was
>packed. every checkout line had at least seven people. he rushed around as
>quickly as he could to find the things his mother needed. he found them
>all except the gallon o fmelted milk chocolate. so he figured what ever
>she needed it for wasnt that important and he went to get in line. the 12
>item or less isle had about fifteen people in it, and most of them looked
>like they had abotu 20 or 30 things. after about 30 minutes in line he got
>to the front and there wasnt a price on the whip cream, so they had to do
>a price check, and that was another 15 minutes. he was so pissed off. he
>was at the end of his rope. he decided that he couldnt take it anymore, so
>it just took all of his groceries and left. the cashier called security
>immediately and they stopped him at the door...............


Want to read the rest??? Go to http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/dmb_sucks.html and click on "listmembers."

Not a lot of work has been done on the web sight this week, so it hasnt changed a whole ot. Ive most of the thinsg that ive been doing on it lately are not yet visable, so check it out if you want, but not much has changed since the last issue.


Some shots gotta go out this week, to Tara ?, as she had a birthday on the 31st, last friday. She was 17 or 18.


Ok, well thats it for now. Until next time, i am chevy chase and your not.

Love,
your REAL dad,
Lance Romañce


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
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