101: Hello, Nazi
7.25.98 9\41Nite

Hey, kids. I am back in town for another round of golf. I am pleased to announce the new Lance Romañce Mailing List Hime Page. That's right, we now have a hime page!!!! Though its still has A LOT of work to be done on it, you can visit it at http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/dmb_sucks.html and enjoy whats there so far. There is not much origional stuff there YET, and not all the links are functional yet, not to mention a lack of graphics and sound, and the graphics that are there still have to be converted to gif and some of them are illegeable. It will still be a few weeks before most of the preperation is complete, but until then, you can still see what I've done so far at http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/dmb_sucks.html as there is deffinately enough there to keeep you entertained for 20 minutes. Make sure to fill out the address book. And if you've all ready visited, its changed, so visit again.

So, how are you all??? I saw the movie Kurt and Courtney on friday with listmember Marrow T. It was really cool cause they didn't try to glamorise kurt, as you would expect. In fact, the whole point of the movie seemed to be to proove that Courtney love was a bitch. They mentioned that kurt's suiside note was just a letter telling why he was leaving nirvana, and that the last part when it was about suside appeqred to have been written by some one else. Was kurt murdered or was it really a suiside??? They never answered that question, but what they did answer that it was all because of courtney love, and that she was complete bitch and that she just used kurt to get her self famous. They did a good job prooving it, too. Go see it.

Before we saw the movie, this really crazy crazy guy from minnisota came up to us and started following us. We had fun with him, he was nuts. But because it was absolutely indiscribable, i wont even bother trying.

Me and marrow walked all around providence and stayed up all night. You know how most restaraunts might be open from maybe 6am to 11pm???? We found a fantastic restuaunt that was just the opposite. It was only open from 11pm until 6 am. And on top of that, it was 50s diner!!!! They had an old juke box and everything!!!! It was called The Silvertop. Unfortunately, the lady who runs it was on vacation so all we could do is starethrough the window. But it was awsome!!!!

Marrow T. was the person who translated the french issue a few weeks ago. I called a lot of people nerds, and he translated that into "debile". A lot of people IMed me saying "i'm weak?" "No," i would say. "you're a nerd." Well, the problem here was simple. Nerd is not a real word, it was a word that Dr. Seuss made up and just cought on. So there is no french equivilent, so Marrow translated it to the french word "debile," which basicly means looser. I know what your thinking, "my dictionary says it means weak." Marrow points out thats just the dictionary definition. Basicly, its french slang. See, its like you go up to some AP English student from, i dunno, um... Harvard. Now if you say to some harvard student "that girl is hot," the harvard student, who only knows englkish by the book, will say "I will stay away from her." cause he has no idea that when you say hot, you mean sexxy. That definition isnt in the dictionary. And this brings up a problem i've complained about to my spannish teachers before, but they have just waived me away for saying so. But, in school, they teach you language by the book. That means thats all you know, and that means you dont know how to speak it like people really speak it. Slang is too popular to ignore.. And if you by the book, people know you have no idea, so when you go to other countries, it becomes very easy for people to take advantage of you. Ya, so matt and laura are both ap french students. So what????? They dont know how to speak real french, cause the schools refuse to teach it. And you can get in a lot of trouble because of that, cause you really have no idea what your saying. You couyld very easily insult someone and have no idea, and that can get you in a lot of trouble if you say the wrong thing to the wrong person. And like wise, saying things about your self, you could easily make a fool out of your self. Just how bad a job do they teach language in school??? Well, a friend of mine told me of a girl in her spannish class at Classical High School. This girl spoke spannish natively, and got a D early level spannish. And this was maybe spannish one or two!!!! But you all get the point. So dont relly on a dictionary when you go to france, and never tell a french person they are "debile."

Letters:

The first letter is from Leon Z. of Flllllllllllll, lllllllllllllF:

Dear Lance-

These two dummies have got to stop being published. It just isn't interesting.

-Mattski300: if i'm a moron than your a mirin
-Mattski300: i mean moron
-MLSchind: shut up your stupid

This isn't the real world. This is a stupid world. It's no world of mine.
Perhaps some shorter IMs, and more interesting ones at that. Punchy, if you will.

-Leon Zeff (aka Huntago)

Dea Leon,
I agree.. I will see to it that things get fixed immediately.
Love,
Lance

The second letter is from Laura S. of way down south:

Dear Lying Fradulent Bastard,

I can't believe you would lend my identity to such drivel. You know full well that the conversation you published in your newsletter never took place. You completely made it up. And I, frankly, am appaled. I'm not a moron, Matt's not a moron, you're a moron. And although it's true that I love you it's definately not for your genius, my dear Ben. Plus who would believe that was us? The spelling and grammar was awful, and you had us referring to you as 'Lance' which we never do. I'm sure you'll enjoy our next conversation enough to publish it in its pure form without corrupting it with your grubby little hands.

your thoroughly insulted former friend,
Laura (calgal14/MLSchind)

Dear Laura,
I take your words very seriously, and i will see to it that this will never happon again. Sorry for any trouble.
Love,
Lance

Here is the next episode of the real world:

MLSchind: Hello darling
Mattski300: (gulp) Um, hi laura.
Mattski300: How are you?
MLSchind: I'm just fancy
Mattski300: I went sky diving yesterday
MLSchind: Did you catch anything?
Mattski300: floo
MLSchind: owch
Mattski300: poo
MLSchind: Have you ever tried Special K?
Mattski300: No, is it good?
Santa Clause: Hi, guys!
Mattski300 and MLSchind: Santa!
Mattski300: What are YOU doing here?
Santa Clause: I just got AOL
Mattski300: You did?
Santa Clause: Yeah it sucks.
Adolf Hitler: Auf drurgan volkswagon
MLSchind: Hi, Hitler!
Mattski300: elle est du Madagascar?
Adolf Hitler: Shut up you fucking french person
Mattski300: choutte
MLSchind: oui
MLSchind: je joue au basket avec elle, elle est tres yamicas
Santa Clause: Juden!!!
Adolf Hitler: Auf auf auf auf! Drienderhoff!
MLSchind: c'est un peu 'explicit' je pense pour un proffesseur a dit a un
eleve
Mattski300: oh, il dit choses qui sont plus plus plus mal
Santa Clause: non! ce n'est pas vrai
Mattski300: oui, il est tres malade dans la tete
MLSchind: qu'est-ce qu'il dit a ton classe?
Santa Clause: oh, je ne peux pas dire
Adolf Hitler: I am leaving, you fucking french pigs.
Adolf Hitler: Adios
MLSchind: Sianarah
Santa Clause: I am gonna leave too. I didn't get any sleep last night. So long.
Mattski300: Laura, lets (censored)
MLSchind: ok.

the rest of this IM had to be cut.

You can read every episode of the real world at the new website, even some previously unpublished ones (http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/dmb_sucks.html).

I have to send some magnificent shots out to Laura S and espeshaly Eric R. for helping me so much trying to get my website up and working. It took three days to get that address buck to work right, so you damn well better use it.

Ok, well im done with this mailing. I am gonna see Austin Powers in less than 90 minutes. So long.

Love,
your thoroughly insulted former friend,
Lance Romance


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