99: Por Dana P.
7.19.98 3\29Nite

Hi every one. The last episode of The Real World raised a complaint from listmember Dana P. who complained that because that episode was all in french, she couldnt understand it and therefor didnt like it. Well, as a result, i desided to put this mailing ALL in french, just for Dana P. So i wrote the list a few days ago and had list member Rich T. (no relation to Mike D.) translate it into french. i do not know exactly how he translated it, as i dont speak french, so anything you don't like is his fault. But here is the next mailing list, all in french, just for list member Dana P. (though you can all read it if you want)


Bonjour, tout le monde! Je suis rentré de New York. Pendant que j' etais
dans New York, je suis devenu tres bandé. J'ai payé des filles à
l'extérieur mon hôtel devenir bander.

En tout cas, je deteste les français. Ils sont impoli et grossier et ils
ont des coupes tordues. Sans compter des cornes tordues et musique tordues.
Et je ne veux pas dire "drôle", je veux dire comme je veux foutre une
raclée aux français type de bizarre. Je deteste leur chapeau stupides et
leur tours d'Eiffel et leur chefs bébêtes.
Les français sont les gens qui ont causé l'époque nepolianique cocoter. Et
en plus de tout ça, ils puent!!!
Parce que cette liste est tout en français, la plupart de vous ne pouvez
pas comprendre un mot. Alors je profiterai de cette occasion se moquer
personnellement des chaque et toutes membre de la liste en français:

Lauren S - Tu es un hippy idiot et fausse.
Cassandra K - Tu es un ancienne élève pitoyable de wheeler
Eric R - tu es un cruche d'ordinateur
Laura S - tu es un une dramaturge affreuese
Mike M - tu sembles un débile
Erin S - tout est mal avec toi
Jeremy K - tu es un hippy idiot et tu n'as aucun personnalité
Shannon A - Tu es une fille idiot qui est une putaine de maigrichonne
Val H - tu es un ballot
Emily S - tu es une personne idiot de ACT
Buzz W - débile
Derik Y - tu es allé a pcd et tu conduis un veau
Lauren E - tu n'es pas drôle
Mike W - heih heih heih heih bevis
Emmanuel S - débile
Liz G - débile
Tara S - andouille
Martha P - débile
Matt Rufo - tu as deux chattes
Sean M - débile
Nate D - débile
Marissa L - débile
Leon Z - débile
Dave M - débile qui a des cheveux longue
Eric L - débile
Sarah P - débile
Jerry St. J - tu es un salaud français
Lana B - tu es très barbant
Jon S - tu es encore trop court
Carl S - Minus!
Jen L - salope
Jen B - espèce de salaud suffisant
Krisi F - conne
Pete M - vache
AmqCW - qui la tringle es-tu?
Dave Nelson - débile
Jill M. - débile
Gavin - débile
Rachel S - débile
Mike P - un couillon de cirque
Lizz W - tu es simplement stupide
Kate N-L - débile
Nico M - un couillon de cirque
Lance R - tu n'as pas de couilles et tu cocotes, espèce de morceau de merde
et tu joues mal le golf
Dana P - débile
Megan - débile
Sylvia S - débile
Marrow T - tu es un putain et tu sembles un lézard
Corey - tu refuses sucer ma bitte et tu ne me donneras pas mon argent
espèce de putain
Jessica S - débile
Jen H - tu es un caissier emmerdant et tu es catholique
Julie A - tu es une andouille anxieuse
Lani R - tu es un salope juive vieille et tu es trop foutu vieille
Tom C - débile
Mike B - débile
"? ?" - qui la tringle es-tu?
Luis P - je n'entend jamais parler de toi ni
Adrien - ou toi
Mandy J - débile
Catherine C - débile
Allison J - folle
Kim O - débile
Sam Rainey - tu es un dool et tu es un mulet obstiné
Lindsay C - débile


en tout cas, maintenant voici les lettres:

Le premier lettre est du membre de liste Jen B. de Ontario, France

Lance,
sorry i called u ben.
Jen

Dear Jen,
who is ben?
Love,
Lance

le second lettre est du membre de liste Kate N-L de Trolly, Wolly

Dear LANCE (not Ben!),

Please tell Matt + Laura that I enjoyed their little French conversation,
and could follow it quite well.

I loved the new list look- very sharp + spiffy.

-Kate

P.S. Please note that my dear Hunter Howe has undergone surgery (wisdom
teeth) and everyone should wish him a "Get Well Soon!" message!

Dear Kate,
Matt and laura are morons who both need to have there teeth pulled. As
for hunter, well, he should have his teeth pulled. To hell with looking
spiffy!!!
Love,
Lance

Voice le prochain émission du monde vrai:

Mattski300: hey there Auto response from MLSchind: I am away from my
computer right now.
Mattski300: ok
MLSchind: salut
MLSchind: es-tu la?
MLSchind: allo?
Mattski300: salut
MLSchind: ah, ca va?
Mattski300: je suis desolee, je n'ai pas su que tu etais la
Mattski300: ca va bien
Mattski300: es tu?
MLSchind: comme-ci, comme-ca
Mattski300: je ne veux plus parler francais
MLSchind: alright
Mattski300: thanks, too much thinking for me
MLSchind: no prob, Ben, er, Lance asked us to do French again, but what
does he know?
Mattski300: yes, he is a plebian
MLSchind: I'm really having a hard time calling him Lance
Mattski300: well don't then. I refuse to call him Lance, it's dumb
MLSchind: what do you call him?
Mattski300: ben
MLSchind: have you ever met Ben?
Mattski300: yes, i see every now and then
Mattski300: you have not?
MLSchind: nope
Mattski300: how do you know him then?
MLSchind: I met him online a million years ago
Mattski300: really? then how did you know what his ankles look like?!!?
Mattski300: you lied to me?
MLSchind: I did, I'm sorry, it won't happen again... much
Mattski300: I'm hurt
MLSchind: I said I was sorry, don't cry
Mattski300: (sob)
MLSchind: there, there
Mattski300: i'll be okay, I'll feel better when I get revenge though
MLSchind: uh-oh
Mattski300: heh heh
MLSchind: I'm afraid
Mattski300: no, don't worry. I'll just lie to you when you least expect
it, and you'll believe me too
MLSchind: not that! anything but that!
Mattski300: >:-)
MLSchind: fiend!!
Mattski300: hey wait a minute...this is not a really interesting
conversation. we can't allow any boring im's remember?
Mattski300: what was it that ben suggested we do that's interesting?
MLSchind: speak french? have a fight?...?
Mattski300: no, he said we should talk about him, remember?
MLSchind: oh yeah, that too
Mattski300: just for being that arrogant we shouldn't
MLSchind: serve that cocky bastard right
Mattski300: hells yeah, kill whitey!
MLSchind: damn the man
Mattski300: heh, i like that
Mattski300: is that a west coast saying?
Mattski300: or do I just live in a whole in the ground?
MLSchind: I thought it was universal
Mattski300: west coast sucks.
Mattski300: lets hear it for east coast!
MLSchind: I'm not actually going to argue with you on this one, I can't
wait to move east
Mattski300: why's that?
MLSchind: I've lived in Cali my whole life, I want to live somewhere where
the seasons definately change, where it snows, and the leaves change color
Mattski300: where in cal. do you live?
MLSchind: suburbs of LA
MLSchind: that's another thing, I want to live in a city
MLSchind: but not LA or San Francisco, I want NYC, Boston, or Providence
Mattski300: oh, my sister lives there, do you know her?
Mattski300: her name's rebecca
Mattski300: do you want to go to colleges over here?
MLSchind: yup
MLSchind: I'd like to go to Brown, your sister's nice
Mattski300: no she's not, she's a horrible person.
Mattski300: you lied to me agian!!!
Mattski300: yeah, i visited Brown, it's a really cool place
MLSchind: oh come on, that's just an opinion, I happen to think she's
sweet
MLSchind: I loved Brown, you should go there, we can be roommates
Mattski300: I'd want to go if I didn't already go to school just down the
street from it
MLSchind: I thought you lived in Mass
Mattski300: you know? if i lived where you do and hadn't been to prov.
before I'd be in love with Brown
Mattski300: I do
MLSchind: well, you'd be in a whole 'nother state!
Mattski300: well, my point is that if I'd never been to prov. before I
would have my heart set on it
MLSchind: go anyway, we'll hang together
Mattski300: I dunno, how about i visit if I don't go?
Mattski300: rmember, you have to get accepted first
MLSchind: eh, no prob, where will you be going?
Mattski300: i wish i knew now
MLSchind: no clue?
Mattski300: well, i gotta list of about 10 places
MLSchind: ?
Mattski300: you're hard to get in a fight with
MLSchind: am not!!
MLSchind: have you been trying?
Mattski300: i thought you'd be all like "No way! West Coast rulezzzzz"
MLSchind: but it doesn't, it sucks, hardcore
Mattski300: i'm not really a militant "coast" kind of person
Mattski300: i just say that to make fun of people
MLSchind: you and yo' hommies don't get together and wave your 'E' sign
around
Mattski300: no, I have no hommies. they call me the lone hommie
Mattski300: heh, no. I'm a preppy
MLSchind: I'm sorry
Mattski300: how are you labeled?
Mattski300: are you still there?
MLSchind: I'm not sure, I'm pretty smart, but not enough to be a nerd, I
play varsity sports, but I don't always start, so I'm not a full jock, I'm
friends with preppies, but also with punks and goths, I dunno
Mattski300: Cool! labels suck
MLSchind: definately
MLSchind: have you heard Rammstein?
Mattski300: yeah, i don't think i'm a preppy, it's just easy to say that
though
MLSchind: you've been brainwashed
Mattski300: why do you say that?
MLSchind: no reason
Mattski300: no, I haven't heard of Rammstein, have you?
MLSchind: yes, I have, aren't they that German group?
Mattski300: I don't know, I've never heard of them
Mattski300: music group?
MLSchind: yup, industrial metal
Mattski300: oh, okay. i got to get going now
Mattski300: if i hear them I'll let you know
MLSchind: this conversation wasn't as fantastic as it could have been
MLSchind: listen for Du Hast
Mattski300: okay...next one will be super, I'll bring food
MLSchind: I'll be counting the seconds
Mattski300: alright, see ya lata
MLSchind: b-bye


d'ac alors c'est ça. Merci et au revoir!

affectueusement,
ton camarade français-detestant,
Lance Romance


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
---------------------------------------------
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
---------------------------------------------
©1998 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com