80: Abba
5.2.98 10\26Nite

Well, you ALL missed it. You just missed the biggest concert in history. Last night Abba preformed their first concert ever. With me on bass, list members calr s and marrow r. on guitars and Phil on drums, we played rock around the clock, a song i wrote called The Water Song, then I sang Stand By Me for every body. Abba is another band of mine based on my very own music theory: A lot of bands try to be good and end up sucking. There for, by trying to suck, a band will be really good. It hasn't failed yet, hence the federal roosters and now abba. We played rock around the clock for a good 6 or 7 minutes. Not to mention we were the last band, making us the head liners. I was pleased.

Welcome to new list member Adrien, who i do not know. Adrien was born in germany a good 200 years ago. Farming was the name of his game, as his family owned the biggest farm in germany. A pig farm, it was, producing mainly just pork products, his famalie's food became emensly popular durring the holocaust. Unfortunately, his farm was shut down after world war II. But adrien, always ready with a back up plan, started to manufacture televisions. Chances are, if you bought a german television anytime after world war II, it was probably made by new list member Adrien. Welcome aboard, Adrien. How are your tonsils holding up???

I saw spike and mike's animation festival today. This one wasnt a sick and twisted, but it was still just as fab. Oh, it was really good. See it. Also, go to www.spikeandmike.com

One question many of you may wonder is "what should I watch on TV?" Well, here am I telling you which current shows are worth watching every time they are on: 60 Minutes, The Simpsons, King Of THe Hill, Dateline NBC, Cosby. Now before you write me telling which shows I left off, remember that I do not have cable, and living in my basement with no antenna, I only get FOX, NBC and CBS. And also, there are other shows on TV that are good, i like mad about you, newsradio and everybody loves raymond, but its ok if you miss those. THe shows i listed above are the ones that are worth a halh hour out of something productive. And before you tell me that I left off the x-files or seinfeld or veronicas closet, dont do it. I dont like those shows. I used to like seinfeld till igot bored with it, realising that they use the same formula for a show every week and for characters, and i got bored with that formula. But now you know what to watch.

The first letter this week is from listmember Eric L. of Gan Gan Gan Gan:

Dear Ben,
Wow! Lauren has the same birthday as my grandmother! WOO-HOO! :-)

Dear Eric,
Happy birthday!!!!

The second letter is from listmember Dana P. of Gonzonoville, PE

dear ben garber,

i havent written you email in some time so i thought it might be appropriate to do so...i hope you have a good time at radio show- they were here in chicago on saturday and it was suposed to be a mondo deeluxe show...why the hell would you want to change your name to cow meat??? actually, it might be interesting....and i would like to add that you totally suck because it seems that you are NEVER going to school....well have a good spring break, i know im enjoying mine

Dear Lauren,
actualy radioHEAD weren't that good. And i am not changing my name to cow meat. Why the hell would I? I am changing my name to Carne De Vaca. And at that, why go to school????

anyways, starting this issue, i will offer a new section called "Ben Garber's Store of Stuff." Wgat is Ben Garver's store of stuff???? Well, last issue, i told you that listmember Lani R. i selling hemp jewlery (email her at lulu428@aol.com for orders and info). And in the past, I have notified you that listmember Dave N's hardcore band, Lynchpin, has albums for sale (email him at libbits@gwis2.circ.gwu.edu for orders and info), as well as listmember Nate D's family jazz/ect. band, Clean and friendly's musical merchandise (email him at powai@aol.com for orders and info). My Stuff Store will sell these regularly, so you can always email me for info or orders, or honest oppinions, and you can also order them direct from the people making them. Is Ben Garber selling out? I don't think so. I am not selling ANYTHING, so dont try selling you're bike here, this is just for origional hand made items that you wont be able to find at any normal place. It is also to support friends and list members, so if i dont like you, i wont sell your item. And also, before you ask me to advirtise you're crystal meth lab, remember that I am selective OF the items that i sell on this list. Music, handmade crafts, things like that are what i sell. So no pipes or pipe bombs or things like that, please. I have the right to reject your items. And if i am ever selling anything, i will sell my things there too. ANd i encourege you to purchase these non idustrial products, and support you're fellow list members.

Here is something most of you didnt know about me (but some remember quite well). In 9th grade, i picked up a pair of nice warm fuzzy boots. The best thing abouth them was the socks were built in, and so i didnt have to put on new socks everyday, cause they were built in to the boots. But it was a wet and snowy winter, and they would get wet and stuff like that, plus i had smelly feet anyways, which led them to smell quite bad. So bad, in fact, that at school, if i was on the same floor as you, you would know instantly. You could smell them from the other end of the hall way, and i'm not joking here. People would say "please where socks" and I would say "no, the socks are built in" Anyways, i stopped whereing them in the spring, when i switched back to chucks. i have not worn any thing but converse since.

Wow, this issue is a sell out. Look!!! every paragraph promotes something!!!!

Anyways, see ya later. I'm chevey chase and you're not.

the bassist from Abba,
Ben Garber

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