69: Hey, Jughead!! Where are you?
Ok, well, this issue is the LONG story I have to write this quarter for english. this is just a rough draft, itll be longer soon. Its also among the worst stories I've writen. So give me feed back please, maybe corrections. Also, don't for get the copyright stuff. This is a copyrighted story, all rights are mine, though characters are based on characters from Arcghie Comics. But the story itself is mine, so keep your hands off it, dude.
Also, send me mail and get new members.
Hey, Jughead!! Where are you?
by Ben Garber
I'm Not A Vegan
It was a bright and sunny day in the town of Riverdale. It was Saturday, June 24th. Archie and Jughead were riding in Archie's beat up jalopy, on their way to Pop's Diner. They were bummed that they didnt graduate. They were going to be seniors again, for maybe their 12th time or so. They were sick of it.
They arrived at Pop's Diner, sweaty from the hot sun. They got two seats at the counter (as apose to four).
"Hey, Pop," said Archie.
"Hey, Pop," Jughead said, his voice lingering slightly behind Archie's.
"Good day, boys. What'll you be having today?" Pop answered.
"I'll just have a Pop, Pop," said Archie.
"LOL!!!" Pop said, "and for you, Jughead?"
"I'll have three hamburgers and a chocolate shake."
"Would you rather just have a cow?" Archie asked sarcastically and chuckled until he noticed nobody else was chuck ling.
"Actually, Pop," continued Jughead, "Make that five."
"Coming right up, Jughead"
"And fries too!" Jughead added, then got up and went over to the juke box. "Cool!!!! They got Manson!!!! Hey, Archie!!! Throw me a dime!!" Archie tossed a dime across the room to Jughead. Jughead failed to catch it and spent the next minute and a half on the floor trying to find that dime and screaming various obscenities.
"Hey! Quiet down there!!!" yelled an offended Pop, as he flipped the burgers and the finger.
"Sorry," said Jughead, "I found the dime." He put it in the Jukebox and punched in a few selections and walked back to his stool. As he sat down, Captain & Tenielle came on over the speaker. Jughead started singing to Archie, "When the others are turning you off, who will be turning you on? I will. I will. I will. I..." He was interrupted when Pop plopped a nice big gigantic milk shake + in front of him.
"We might have a gig next weekend," said Archie, talking about their band, The Archies.
"Where its at?" asked Jughead.
"At the Hollywood Bowl," answered Archie as Jughead's milk shake came out of his mouth. "Just kidding."
"Hey!!! You made me spit out my milk shake!!! Why, I oughta..."
"Relax Jughead. We got a better gig."
"What better gig? What's better than the Hollywood Bowl?"
"The Ed Sullivan show."
"Yeah, that's pretty big," agreed Jughead. "But where's our gig?"
"We got a gig on the Ed Sullivan Show." Jughead punched Archie in the face.
"Here you go, Jughead!!!!" said Pop. He plopped down five hamburgers.
The next morning, Archie and Jughead showed up at Pop's for breakfast, awaiting Betty, Veronica and Reggie to tell them about the big break. Jughea d ordered 4 or 5 of Pop's special Breakfast Burgers, Archie just had some Wheaties. The rest of the band showed up 15 minutes later in Veronica's new shiny red Corvette.
"Hey, guys. Wuzzup?" asked Betty as she walked towards Archie.
"Sorry we were late. Daddy's Limo driver called in sick so we had to go and get a new car," Veronica said as she cut in front of Betty to sit next to Archie. "So what's the big news, Arch?"
Jughead answered with his mouth full, "We got a gig on Ed Sullivan."
"NO WAY!!!!" Reggie and Betty and Veronica all said at the same time.
"Yes... Hey, Pop!!! Can I have 2 more breakfast burgers?" replied Jughead.
"Commin right up, Jughead," answered Pop.
Let's Get Harpie
Betty, Veronica, Archie, @Reggie and Jughead, famous for their band, the Archies, practiced nearly every day from then on. They were going to be able to preform two songs, so they chose carefully: Sugar, Sugar was one, and the other hadn't been decided yet. But everyone kept getting mad at Jughead because he kept showing up late for rehearsals.
"Jughead," they would ask him, "Why the hell are you so late?"
"Sorry, guys," Jughead would reply, "But I needed to pick up some hamburgers." And if that didn't bother the rest of the band enough, Jughead would eat them while he was playing the dr ums, and would loose the beat.
One day, while waiting for Jughead, Reggie just started singing a song. It went something like this: "Archie's here. Betty's here, Veronica too. Reggie's here. Hey, Jughead! Where are you!?!?!? We lwant to dance and we want to sing. We like to hold hands and go adventuring. All the gang is here, but we ain't complete, cause we ain't complete, with out the Jughead beat."
"Hey, that's pretty good!" said Archie.
"Yeah!!!" agreed Betty and Veronica.
"¿What's pretty good?" asked Jughead, as he walked in, reeking of beef. Reggie sang him the song. Jughead wasn't very thrilled about it. But while he was eating his burger, he knocked over a candle and started a fire.
More To The Story Line
Betty and Veronica decided to go shopping that afternoon for some new clothes. First they stopped by Custom Clothes for Rich People to get some clothes for Veronica. Veronica found a fantastic dress for $5 thousand, so she had it sized and fitted and shortened and everything. It would be ready by Tuesday. Then it was off to Bargain Silo to get some clothes for Betty. She bought a much less fancy dress but it was nice, plus it came with a coupon to get a free hamburger. She gave the coupon to Jughead when she saw him a few hours later, Jughead took it and ran off.
Now, if you think Jughead would run off to get his free burger, you're wrong. Jughead went to the Bargain Silo and stood outside and asked every person who / walked out for a free burger coupon. He stayed there over night and raised up about 50 coupons, then he went and used 17 of them. He was really hungry cause he hadn't eaten since before he had gone to the Bargain Silo. But he would have been really hungry anyways.
"Man," he said, "Those burgers were good."
the first letter is from Ragina B. of Dirk, Diggler:
If I could punish one person right now, it would be matt R. for saying he wants to punish one of the Hanson boys.
I am on your side. Down with Rufo!!!! Down with testosterone!!!! Up with hanson!!!!
Letter number 2 is from Sean M. of Mark, Whalburg:
I have a little story for you. My band was scheduled to play an audition gig at CBGB's on Sunday. We were going to go on at 10:00pm. At about 4:00pm the bass player of my band got a phone call saying that we were getting pushed back to about 10:30. We were like okay. He got another call about 15 minutes later and they said we were pushed back to 10:45 and that the band LIVE was taking our slot at 10:00. They wanted to try out some new songs. So in essence LIVE opened up for our band. LIVE was booked tat about 4:00 the day of the gig and without any advertising were able to bring about 200 people with them. It was a one in million chance that they would pick the Sunday we were playing to play and they did.
thats cool. so when are they opening for me? And now I have a story for you (continued below)
"Jughead, there's a call here for you." Pop handed Jughead the phone.
"Hello? Oh, hey Archie. We've been moved up til tomorrow? Wow! That's great news. A drum solo? I get to take a drum solo? And a r epresentative from Archie Records will be there? Wow!!! This could be our big break!!! And they have free hamburgers back stage? Wow, Archie!! I can't wait!!!!"
Jughead Jones And The Battle
Just 12 hours passed faster than they had ever past before half the day went by. Reggie called Veronica from jail. Bad news, Reggie had been arrested. The crime? Slashing tires. This was bad news for the band, so veronica went and bailed out reggie with the money she was saving up to buy a new helicopter. That was a bit of a set back, but they needed it. The bail came with a free coupon for a free hamburger, so they decided they would give it to Jughead.
They hooked up with him later that afternoon. Jug head was complaining about how he went to the doctors today and the doctor was telling him how he had to get on a better diet or he would have a heart attack.
"I went to the doctor today and he said I had to get on a better diet or I'll have a heart attack. He thinks I don't know that?"
"He's right, you know," said Veronica. You do have to watch you're what you eat. You could end up looking as fat as me!"
"YOU'RE NOT FAT!!" Every one said at the same time.
"Yes I am, and you still have to watch what you eat, Jughead."
"Yeah, yeah. I don't care if I get a heart attack, hamburgers are worth it."
Ed Sullivan's Ego
The time had come, my friends, to head to New York and go to the Ed Sullivan theater for the Archies to make their national debut. Archie had his Jalopy all packed and ready to go, then Reggie showed up with a big van that said "The Archies" on the side and Archie had to unpack his Jalopy and pack up the van. Veronica and Betty showed up a few moments later in a helicopter, and Archie and Reggie unpacked the van and loaded up the helicopter. Then a few moments later, Jughead showed up in a hearse, just kidding. Jughead didn't show up at all, so every body figured that he had gone to hamburgers, so the flew over to Pop's. Nope, he wasn't there. Where could he be???? They went back to Archie's house and just waited for him. Then the phone rang.
"Hello, is this Archie?" asked the voice on the phone.
"Thi Us is Riverdale Memorial Hospital calling. Do you know A boy named Jughead Jones?"
"Well, I have some sad news for you, son. Jughead.... Oh, I don't know how to tell you this. Jughead had a hamburger yesterday that was infected with e.coli. He has lost his sense of sight, sense of hearing and his ability to talk. We have also amputated two of his arms and one leg."
"Oh, crap," said Archie.
"Oh, and one more thing. Could you tell his parents?" The person hung up.
The Archies picked up Jughead from the hospital and went to Ed Sullivan. Jughead played horribly.
well thats it. Its 6 pages, the final has to be 8 pages so it will be longer. Anyways, album recomendation is, um.... the archies album. I forget what its called cause i dont have it, but it has the songs Sugar, Sugar and Hey, Jughead!! Where Are You???
Also, send me mail and get new members.
So see ya later.
a man in disguise,
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