67: Better Sweed Symphony
3.4.98 9\05Nite

Well, everybody. I have returned, again, to mail another mailing. WHat's it about? Don't ask me, i haven't figured that out. Maybe ask someone who knows I guess. I dunno who though. Anyways, no new members. So lets start soliciting.

Well, today, I shall present you with some of my...


have you ever woken up in a strange car? I mean, sometimes, you wake up and you can't for the life of you figure out who's car you're in. Well, if you're awoken bya very loud Semi-Charmed Life, chances are you are in ther car of listmember Jerry St. J. Not that this has ever happond. Or at least not to me, i dunno about the rest of you.

Some people ask me, "Ben, where's your hair?" I often tell them, "Its right there on my head." They often doubt me, and presist to tell me that I have lost my hair. Chances are, these people are trying to trick me.

some times, its fun to go into a bank and ask for 7053 billion dollars. If the bank asks you why, just say you are intrested in buying a small european country. When they ask how you intend to pay them back, say you will tax your citicens. Also, you can tell the bank that you will make them the official bank of your country.

It is also fun, while some body is asleep or uncopncious, to rub somethhiing mselly under their nose. When they wake up, they will say "whats that smell whats that smell?" all day long. Every one will say "What smell?" cause they are the only person who can smell it.

Lets see.... what else. Today I found list member Marrow R. and we went to Moses Brown and made fun of all the nerds.

Wow, this list is bad.

The first letter is from Mike M. of Tocan, Sam:

Dear Ben,
I disagree with your examples of the Fugitive and Scream. The Fugitive was
based on a TV series of the same name, but had enough plot twists to make
it enjoyable.Ford gave a great performance, as did Tommy Lee Jones (who
won an Oscar for that role). Scream is a great example of a good horror
movie. It never takes gets to heavy and bogged down and it pokes fun at
the genre. I agree with Jurrasic Park being a huge letdown, but I think
your becoming to cynical and jaded for the sake of being cynical and
jaded. Really Ben, do think the movie your going to be in is full of fresh
ideas and such? If you want to see a good movie see the Apostle of the
Sweet Hereafter. If you want to have a good time see Scream or the

Dear Mike,
The problem here was most likely my lack of clarity. I mentioned the fugitive, jurassic park, scream as examples of hit movies, not nesisarily bad movies that were excelent. When hollywood finds a hit movie, such as those, and lets throw in Speed as well, they have ruin it by making a horrable sequal. So, in fact i am not dissing those movies but rather their followings. Scream I thought was horrable, but liked it just for that reason. It was a horrer movie told by 17 magazine, i liked it for the same reason i liked fear. Now, there undoubtedly a couple good movies coming out in major theaters here and there, but for the most part, all the major movies are the same. Movies like Texas flood, or what ever, i cant remember the names of any of those movies, but you know texas flood, dime bag for a dime, denzel ville, the singing killer, all those movies that i see previews for are horrable. But the point that I was trying to make was that while hollywood is lacking origional, or now even worth while material, the indie. film industry is thriving with creative genious. Movies like Ice Storm or the Full Monty (those are just some of the more popular ones) are not anything that you would see in a Showcase Cinema or a Sony Theater. There is more room for experiment. While hollywood is all about making money, the indie market is all about everything, be it money or just something different, it allows a hella more experiment. And I dunno a thing about my movie, I've never seen it. I've only seen a couple of sceens, so I'll have to wait and see about that one. Sorry for noty making my self clear. hmph.

Letter number TWO is from Sylvia S. of Grumpy, Dumpy:

Dear Ben
i was thinking it might be cool if listmembers wrote in and introduced
themselves. you know, like an online talkshow. have two or three per
issue or something. "this issue's special guests are: x,y, and z."
ya think? whatever
fuck work

Dear Sylvia,
What a grand Idea. What a fantastic idea. Why don't you start?

For all your information, when I said last week that listmember LAni R. was a 2nd grade teacher, I was lying to you. You people take things like that too seriously. She really teaches preschool.

And for sylvia, I sent her a thing to start this thing off that will most likely not happen again. But for those of you who wonder about sylvia....

i'm not sure what 'facorite' means, but here goes: (btw - there were some
repeats and i would suggest taking out the ones i say dunno to, for length's
My favorite letter is: s
My facorite number is: 13
My facorite shape is: spiral
My facorite book is: can't say. too many. see my webpage booklist (
http://www.geocities.com/soho/lofts/7331/book.htm )
My facorite song is: oh goddess.... i dunno..... i love wayyyy too many.
My facorite beatle is: ringo
My facorite monkee is: dunno
My facorite jackson is: dunno
My facorite new kid on the block is: none of them
My facorite animal is: chimpanzee
My facorite word is: iridescent
My facorite teacher is: daniel quinn, author of "ishmael" and other fine
My facorite class is: evolution
My facorite show is: buffy the vampire slayer
My facorite disney character is: snow white's evil queen
My facorite flower is: hibiscus

Sylvia, length is not a problem. And for future reference, the hibiscus is noty a flower. It is actually the part of the masquito that is used to prick you and suck out your blood. So remember that next time some one asks you for your facorite flower, unles you want them to laugh at you. You are lucky to have a wise friend like me to point out yyour mistakes.

This week's album recomendation is... um... hmmm. How about the Velvet Undergound's Andy Warhol. That's a great album if you like obscure music. Its very out there. My first ever album recomendation was Niandra Lades and Usually Just A T-Shirt by John Frusciante (If you get it, make sure to get the tape cause it has several more songs). I discribed that album as a basement tape. It was just a bunch of obscure recordings put to gether by numerous numerous overdubbings that really wasn't you'd expect from a comercial release. Its more something you'd find on a bootleg, these just sound like wierd little demos. Andy Warhol lives under the same basic concept. So if you like one, you'll probably like the other (though John's is far more obscure. I mentioned last week that I herd he died, but i am happy to announce that he didnt die and is, in fact recovering. He is also in an unsigned band with flea and Stephen Perkens called the Three Ameobas now, so see them if they come around.). So anyways, get both I guess.

Anyways, that's good enough for now. I will try to get some more of my writing in the next fucking issue. I have been writing an 8 page story in writing, I will publish the 6-page rough draft soon. But my creative juices have been being dranken pretty quick lately so its harder to write these damn lists. But I have been sending out these lists for 10 months so thats expected every once in a while i supose, now huh? Anyways, see ya later.

Yyour work horse,
Ben Garber

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