64: Letters
2.22.98 3\52Nite

Hello all. Sorry, this still isn't the special issue. The special issue is on its way, so keep reading if you want to find out.

Now that vacation is over, lets look at my vacation at a glance.

sat- nothing
sun- nothing
mon- nothing
tue- nothing
wed- me and listmember Dave M. and 3 girls i didnt reakkty know to bickfords and drove around for a while
thu- met list member Pete M. on thayer and wondered and ran into people
fri- went up to thayer and wondered for a while and ran into people until Julie and Deanna invited me to a Lynchpin concert in new bedford. Got a ride from Corey, got lost 3 times. We stopped for dirrections one last time when the car wouldn't start again, so we got a tazi to the club an got there like a minute after Lynchpin got off. The club was kind of wierd, so me and listmember Marrow R. went to a pizza place that was next to a donut shop down the street and got a pizza. We didn't tell anybody so when we got back they all said "where'd you go?" in unison. I said "We went to the pizza shop. Where did you think we went? The donut shop?" So then we went back a bunch of us in listmember Matt R's car, the back seat was filled so we kept marrow in the trunk. we got pulled over by a cop and we thought it was cause marrow was in the trunk (matt drives a wagon) but it turnned out we were driving with out head lights! doh!!! Then the cop said where are you headed and we said Swansea, cause thats where Matt lives and thats where we were going. The cop said "you're going to Swansea this way?" so anyways we got to matt's house where Kate's mom picked us up and dropped us off at Keerson's house, where me and marrow headed off with our intent to wonder providence all night. Da da da we ended up at the Westin (a hotel) at one or so and sat in the lobbey just chillin and talkin till 6, then left and went to dunkin' donuts where we had a little mix up with the bags and then we went to keerstons around 7.15, where we scared Jineena when we cause she saw me and she didnt see rich cause he was taking a crap but i told him we had got split up, and when she went to the bathroom and herd his voice when she tried to open the door she fell. Sorry bout that. Then me and marrow went to sleep, i woke up after like an hour or so, then he slept like another hour and we hung out at sheerstons.
sat- i guess you all ready know the morning but then i went to an audition and met Mure and listemembers Emmanuel S. and Carl S. and then hung went to thayer st and to meeting st for a while and handed out lolipops and hung out with Kira and Erin and that was cool. They went to see a movie, but i was tired so I went home to sleep and turns out my parents are having a party and so I can't sleep so i stay up an extra 6 hours. I was up a total of over 39 hours before i finealy still asleep (excluding that one hour).
sun- nothing

this week's mailing is a mail special. The rest of the mailing list will just be letters.

Pete M. of thinkgh, shshg

you looked beautiful at the prom. will you marry me? (i'm down on one
the girl with the most mustard,
pete :)

Dear Pete,
i will have to think about that. Thats kind of a big question.

Dana P. of Gooshtah, Fooshtah


what was up with those questions? do you really do stuff like that in your school? it must be weirder than i thought. or was that all a ben garber made up thing. i feel stupid for not knowing.


Dear Dana,
yes those questions are all real. The next time you accuse me of treason, i'll bite your head off.

Megan M. of Hepcat, County

One Happy Birthday (slightly belated). Two if you really want to tick
bell atlantic off there is a way to get your money back. Since the
payphones do not say that they don't make change you can call the
company and they have to send you a check for the extra fifteen cents.
This costs them money because not only do they have to cover the cost of
the fifteen cents but also the stamp, paper and all in all it is
probably just a real pain to do. Also if enough people started doing it
then maybe Bell Atlantic would either make the payphones to give change
or lower the price back to twenty-five cents. In essence DAMN THE

Dear Megan,
Thanks. But you do realise that if people keep asking for change from their 50 cent pieces, then it won't be long vefore Bell Atlantic actualy raises the price of a phone call to 50 cents. Thats what they did with the bus too.

Erin S. of Tuncan, Pecan

Dear Ben,
did you know that the oldest cake was made 2,200 years ago

Dear Erin,
Really? i didn't know that?? Is it still around? What flavor is it? That person must have had a hella lotta birthdays.

Lauren S. of Kiwi, Fruits

Dear Ben,
i hate all this increase of the cost of phone calls bullshit too. i recently experienced losing a whole dollar to a fucking machine!!! so i say we refuse to make phone calls, promote tumors, and get cell-phones.

Dear Lauren,
I am against phones. And no, its not a tumor.

Emmanuel S. of hotshot, robot

Dear Ben,
It has come to my attention that *someone* has decided to broadcast
to your mailing list without your permission. Considering the obvious
fact that it is YOUR list, you'd think that this person would have
decency to respect that. I just want to point out to any possible future
offenders that this is not only rude in the extreme, but rather puerile
and silly. C'mon, I personally do not care what any of you happen to see
somewhere. So don't send me (or 60 other people) forwards when you have
nothing of your own to say. And if you found something that is way too
cool keep to yourself, ask persmission before you deluge the list with
this. Surprisingly, a lot of us don't care about someone's ideas on how
to be happy! If worse comes to worse, just ask Ben. It's his list, and
if he's willing to do it then by all means.
This is the coolest list in the entire world. I think we can all
agree to that. So let's do our part to keep it that way. Sorry for the
vitriol. :(


Dear Emmanuel.
I have added two new offical rules to the bottom. Along side from the well known bit about commercial email, I have added that there is not to be any random forwards, chain letters, pyramid scheems or anything like that to be done using the mailing list. The other rule is don't flatter me.

Matt R. of Gowk, Kwog

Dear Ben,
What the fuck was that all about?!

Dear Matt,
Jen H. of Zip, Lock writes

Dear Ben,
thats ok just don't let it happen again! =) So whats up. Hows vacation. I got 2 hours sleep last night and i am on a sugar high so i am extremely happy right now. Saturday I am going skiing! I am gonna go > Bye

Dear Jen,
i got one hour of sleep. heh.

Dave M. of Bloom County,

Dear Ben
oops! did I really? I dont' have the energy to go check, I'll take your word on it...

Dear Dave,
you mixed up your apostophy and your t. thank you.

and here is an email i got that i dunno. i've no idea who its from but its intresting.

>Subject: Yo Daddy!
>Date: 2:22:98 1/45Nite
>Received: 2:22:98 1/53Nite
>From: MrCub98@aol.com
>To: Ben Garber, HevanScent@aol.com
>Yo Whole family!
>YO granddaddy
>yo grandmamma
>yo uncles best friend's dad that had a weird name's pal!

isn't that lovely?

This week's album is Bjork's Debut. A fantastic album. Though it is techno, it takes a fantastic voyage through the relms of jazz, rock, dance, and the just plaine obscure. The first song on the album, Human Behavior, is like no other song you have ever herd. It is extrordanary origional. There are other songs which are just beyond obscure, maiking this album among the most origional albums in hostory, making it one of the top 3 albums of the decade, making it one of the best albums ever. Its is fantastic and yall should pick it up. It is by far her best album. (her other albums have TOO MUCH obscurity.)

anyways, thats it. I'm exausted so its hard to write a good mailing. But hey I tried.

See yall later.

your exausted pool man,
Ben Garber

Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
©1998 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com