57 Hot Legs
1.26.98 10\43Nite

All right, well, for starters, here is a ben garber FAQ, via list member
Marissa L.


Full Name: Benjamin Ewing Garber
NickNaMes: Mutha Fucka
Date of Birth: December 7th, 1979
Parents: Ira and Carol Garber (Maiden Name: Ewing)
Siblings: Killed Em Both
School: Alternate Learning Project (ALP) (Next year will be Berklee
College of Music)
Homepage: http://members.aol.com/hippobreth (from here you can get to
all my others)
Best Friends: Your mother (she counts as 2)
Cool People: Your Sister, Your grandma, Your Kid
Pets: 2 Cats: Cotton Ball and Garfield. And a dog called your mother.
Job: Actor (i was in the movie Outside Providence with Alec Baldwin),
Musician, I'm gonna get a real job one of these days too
Hobbies: making music with your mother
Best Advice:
Its always better to be a kidder than an adulturer - Me
Gambling is unhealthy - I forget who said it
I lost you 3 months ago, are you mental? )from waynes world)
women shouldbt be sexist because sexism is a mans job - Me
Words or phrases you use too much: fuck you, fuck your muther, hey mutha
fucka
Non-sport game at which you excel: monopoly
Dream car (or truck):
Car: a hyper-colored forklift with purple glow-in-the-dark interier.

Truck: Your mother
Coolest Experience: fucking your mother
Fave thing to do in summer: fucking your mother
Most time consuming thing to do in the winter: fucking your mnother in
the snow
Character traits I look for in a person: old fat and stupid (like your
mother!)
Special skills or talents: ask your mother
What I want to be/do: you know what i wanna do
Fave Music: farts (sepcialy with a blues progression. but they are
usualy brown)
Fave Bands: Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Stray Cats, Milli Vanilli, old school
Chilli Peppers, NKOTB, The Crickets
Fave Singers: Robbert Plant (Zep), Janis Joplin, Buddy Holley (the
Crickets)
Fave Bassists: John Enthwissle (the who) Les Claypool (Primus) Flea
(chili peppers)
Fave Guitarists: John Frucante (Chilli peppers on Blood Sugar Sex Magik
and Mothers Milk), Peter Frampton, Brian Setzer (Stray Cats, Brian Setzer
Orchestra)
Fave Drummers: John Bonham (Zep), Jerry Allison (The Crickets), Ringo
Starr (you know who he is)
Fave color: glow in the dark purple
Fave food: bacon pizza, your mother
Least fave food: mexican, your father
Fave vacation: sleeping
Fave subject: butter
Fave words: fuck you
Fave sport: quarters
Fave sports teams: 1996 Womens US Gymnastics, 1994 Womens US Gymnastics
Fave actor: Jon Lovitz
Fave actress: Nev Campbell (?)
Fave movies: Imagine, Dumbo, Help!, Yellow Submerine, Back To The
Future, Cutting Class, Ghost Busters, Mr. Saturday Night, Mighty
Aphroditie, Top Secret
Fave music video: don't have cabel.
Fave song: I Want You (She's So Heavy) by The Beatles
Fave animal: Alan Price
Fave t.v. show: The Jetsons
Fave day: I don't like any. Night is better.
Fave month: january 1993
Fave holiday: leap day
Fave part of newspaper: Lifebeat, Club listings
Fave things to wear: your mother
Collections I have: records. i used to collect various boot legs till
DMB, who i hate more than any band in history, desided to destroy the
entire bootleg industry. They don't sell them round here no more.
Pet Peeves: DMB, Blues Traveler, Alarm clocks, the Mighty Mighty Boss
Tones, ska in general, waking up, being awake, homework, CDs (but i dont
mind CD-ROMs), big asshole companies (microsoft, mcdonalds, warner bros,
sony, nike, tommy hilfigger...), censorship, youth discrimination,
religion (particuly religions who try to run the world), stupid people,
slutty people, annoying people, snobby people (those are the worst kind),
philydelphia, massachusets state laws, homophobia, people who sit there
and don't stand up for themselves, people who lie a lot, people who say
they like your work when they don't, the suburbs (glad i dont live
there), people who say bands i like "suck" (if they hate them thats ok,
but just dont say they suck), people at conerts who wont let me go in
front of them, people who call bill gates a genious, dogs, sea food,
mexican food, green vegtibals, mayonaise, trendy things, being asked if i
shook pee wee hermans hand when i met him (i did, so dont ask), when lift
my hat up after i shaved it and its soar and i have old all readdy told
them it hurts, elegent people, manners, dressing up, getting kicked in
the balls, bad live bands, people who have no sense of origionality,
being bothered, being annoyed, ringing ears, lissening to people go to
the bathroom, people who fart in my room (besides me), etc......


Along with my hard drive, I lost my adress book, which was saved on my
computer. So if as many of you could fill this out as possable, and send
it back, i will send you a unabomb. But i will make it the non exploding
kind. Anyways, i'd just like to have my adres book redone and full as
possable. I may never use your entry, but you never know, it might pay
off (for you) someday. Then again, it might not do a thing. So here is
my adress list form, please send it back at your nearest convenince,
thanks mutha fucka. Only fill out when you can/want to. And tell
evveryone you know to fill it out too.
---------------------------------------
Name:
Adress:
Phone Number:
eMail:
Instant Messanger/AOL Name:
Birthday:
Kinds of things you like to get for your birthday:

Other Phone number (like college or something):
Other Adress:
Other eMail:
Other Name:
Other Instant Messanger/AOL Name:
Other Birthday:

Instant Messanger/AOL Name:
Website:
Beeper Number:
Car/Cellular Phone Number:
Type Of Computer (Mac, NT, Unix, Win95...):
Anything Else:
-------------------------------------------
and while your filling that out, you can also play listmember Nate D's
fun game:
Dear Ben and Benlistmembers,

It's time yet again for : NAME THAT QUOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This quote was said by a character in a book by a famous modern author-

"Not a cough in a carload!"


If you can correctly state who said this quote, ben g. might give you
money (but i doubt it). i bet he'll give you a hug anyways.

-natedonthesaxo-foam

The 1st is from listmember Martha P. of Sniff, MO.

dear ben
Nope, you guessed wrong - my birthday is in september (18th).
What day is Dave M's, do you know?
love,
cornflake

Dear Martha,
Woops. I'll get it right next time. Why don't you ask the mutha fucka
him self.
Love,
Ben

listmember Dana OG. of Top, 40:

i was just wondering why do you need all your lists back??? i dont have
any except for this one but why do you need them???
dana

Dear Dana,
I need my lists back because I don't have them and need them for
reference. I have this one too, i need the older ones. But something
else i lost with my hard drive is my adress book, so i need as many of
you to fill this out the for above as possable, so thanks.
Love,
Ben

Tonight, for my 1st time, i had hamburger helper. I had the 3 cheese
pasta kind. it was so fucking good!!!! Well, as long as i put catchup on
it. Hooray for the sanfransisco treat!!!

I have the next 5 days off, yahoo!!!!!! Why, because teachers have to
write comments for my report card. In the nere future, i will tell you
how i did, and post my creative writing exam. But hell, i've got 5 days
off.


Anyways, i'm gonna go now. Good night.


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
---------------------------------------------
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
---------------------------------------------
©1998 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com