55: Subject: I Lost My Head
From: HevanScent
Date: 98-01-01 21:11:32 EST

all right. Well, first off, i regret that I forgot last issue to welcome
the newest meber of the ban garber mailing list, Sylvia S. A student at
Moses Brown, a junier os something??? Oh well, she lives in the area, da
da da. Welcome, miss S. Is it miss??? Or Mrs? oh that wiers in
between? Mizz i believe.

So how was all yours news years eves????? I had one too, so you are not
the on;ly one. But let me warm you up. I went 36 hours with out eating
ANYTHING except for a SMALL cup'o'popie corn and some toast. Why?
Because new years eve mourn, we were to get an all you can eat breakfast
at the westin hotel. Thats right!! I did say all you can eat. So thats
what I ate.

There were about 35 of us. There were a lot of list members there, too
many to mention, but we were headed by list member Emmanuel S. What a
sweet boy, eh????? Well, anyways. After breakfast, we went to get some
buttons for some people (the button is kind of your ticket for all 1st
night events), then just kind of wandered around for a while until we
ended up going to the westin. and just hung out in the lobbey for a
little bitch. Bit I mean. Sorry bout my languarge.

Onlyways, when you think of "ben garber", what is the 1st thing that
comes to your mind?? Well, if you said "his hair", your gonna have to
pick something else. Maybe his lack there of??? Why is this?? Because
i forget how it came about, if she suggested it or it was me, but
NON-list member Julie something asked that if she got some scisors, if
she could cut my hair. So I said "ok". So me and her and Kate went to
CVS and got some scisors and an instimatic camera and the cheepest pack
of rasors we could find. We then took a seat out side the convention
center, as Julie handed me a lock of my hair. Then another lock. Then
another. Then so on, as I put the hair in the CVS bag, and Kate took
pictures, and Julie continued to cut my hair as short as possable, and a
crowd soon gathered around me and little kids were watching from the
windows of the convention center. Then we put some shaving creme , which
we also got at that trip to CVS, in my hair, and got out the raisers.
But it was getting too cold and so we desided to go inside and finish
there. But where inside can you cut hair?? You know they don't want hair
all over their carpet. So we went into a stair case where we probably
weren't supposed to be in and continued there, with out the crowd. And
so we continued to shave my head and get shaving creme on the floor, when
we herd voices and were just starting to run when it was Mike Baker and
Lars Drew and Josh something and list member Carl S. So we stopped and
were about to sit down again when we heard a door open and a walkie
talkie so we started running to the bottom, leaving lars behind as the
person, who turned out to be a janitor, got lars and was saying something
to him (we left quite a mess of shaving cream on the floor). Me and
Julie and listmeber Carl ended up out side with out the others, and then
went to some parking lot to finish. We never completely finished though
cause it was too cold and took to long, but we was fine. The janitor
aperently just said "are the doors locked? I can let you out." or
something like that and lars said "no, i think my friend went down
stairs" and ran after us. He came into the parking lot with his girl
friend where me and Jullie and carl were. and I guess that was that. I
for get most the other things that afternoon. You can all see pictures
after they are developped. I bought a scanner with the money i got from
the movie. I will post tthe pictures on the web. Also, if YOU want
something scanned, I will do it for you, free of charge.

But that evening, every wanted to se The Momax, which is some wierd thing
i didn't like very much when we saw it in 995/96. Or again (maybe, i
don't remember), so I stayed by myself and then just kind of wandered
around the convention center, hoping to find some one I knew. With in
seconds, i ran into new list meber Sylvia S (not to be confused with the
comic strip).

The 1st letter is from List member Dave M. who was at 1st night:

Dear Ben,
BIGGIE SUCKS MY LEFT NIPPLE
me

Dear Dave,
I really haven't herd his music. Or at least not knowlegably. But i
deffinatly know quite a bit a bout him. Did you know that he was shot??
My theory is tyhat anyone who gets shot defiantely diserves SPIN's
"artist" of the year. Though, he is surely better than roling stone's
critics choice. They chose Puff Daddy. I don't get it though. How come
they chose puff daddy, but have never chose the poliece?? Or even sting?
Why didn't they just give it to the police this this year? Its not like
Puff Daddy actualy wrote anything. Well, maybe he changed the lyrics a
bit, but they weren't very good at all. I really don't like rolling
stone. they also said "classic rock radio is dying a well diserved
death." Then how come WRX is one of this regions top stations??? As far
as I'm concerned, classic rock is still pretty popular. They say alot of
other really stupid and biased things. I REALLY hate that magazine.
Love,
Ben

The 2nd letter is from listmember Rachel S. of Bo, Diddley:

Dear Ben
Happy day, we finally bought that new computer! (Maybe my ferarri is
coming next!) However, the new computer is being v*e*r*y difficult about
getting its modem installed...suffice to say, I'll be offline for a
little while. Hope to back on within a week or so. Happy holidays, and
watch Scream II, it rocks!

the ever-suffereing
Rachel

Dear Rachel,
I guess you don't have plug'n'play..... You should look into getting a
new computer. Sounds like the one you have isn't very good.
Love,
Ben

Anyways, as I was saying before. I met up with sylvia and with some of
her friends, and we went to see a comodey hypmotist. The first thing he
did was hypmotised teh audience, and he made us put our fingers together.
It was so wierd. And my fingers just went together. Then he moved my
hands a part. Then he called people from the audience back on stage to
see just how hypnotisable everyone was. I was one of the 20 people who
went up. He told me i was on a plank on a boat and i was rocking bacak
and forth, and i started rocking back and forth and that was so wierd.
Then he said that when he tapped me i woulkd be startled and fall
forward, and iwas. It was the wierdest feeling ever. But i wasnt
hypnotisable enough so he sent me down. Then he hypmotised these 2
ladies for the rest of the time, and it was pretty funny, but that doesnt
matter. Cause I dunno what else he hypnotised me to do, or let a lone
the whole audience, cause he could have taken that out of my mind and I
wouldnt know, or maybe it was just the high of being hypnotised in
general. But after that I just started acting really wierd and talking
in strange voices and everything and i dunno. And its like i knew i was
doing it but i was just doing it anyways and i dunno, for the rest of the
evening i was just so god damn wierd.

But it wore off when we went to see list member Nate D, and his family
band, which just happens to be the best family band of the melinium,
Clean And Friendly. I saw them last year and was all excited cause it
was so fun and we just danced last year. But this year there really
wasnt much room to dance, and so the music was good, but it just wasn't
as good. But we had to leave soon cause we neede to get to Improv Jones.
This was really important. Unfortunately, what ever happond to me was
almost but not completely) worn off by improv jones, which is when it
would have been useful. But I dunno. It wore off by the end, but I went
up to one of the guys in improv jones, who I know, and I asked how i
could audition, and he seemed pleased. So i gave him my number and he
said I could audition in january, cause thats when they are holding
auditions.. This would be a really really great thing if i got in, so
i'm excited. It was good i went.

Afterwords though, and the hypmotism had been all gone, i felt kind of
sad though. And I really wanted to go back to clean and friendly, but
everyone was going to something else, except Brent, and list members Mike
M, Kate N-L and Leon Z, so i followed them. But i felt in not so much of
a person mood, and just kind of took off and went to Clkean And Friendly
by myself. I went up to the fron row and, oh my god, it was the best
show of the hold evening and it made 1st night end perfectly. There was
a big difference between last year and this year. Last year they played
with more fun than anyhing. This year, they seemed to play with a lot
more emotion, so it was actualy quite amazing and orgasmic almost. They
were soi much better than the partrige family or the jackson 5 or even
hanson. I must congradulate list member Nate D. and his family band for
the most fantastic show at 1st night, and thgank him for making 1st night
the best one yet. The thing about clean and friendly is that if you go
in expecting something, you won't get what you expected. They are very
good, but never expect a cirten musical style or feel or emotion or genre
or anything, cause they do it all. And they do it very well. I STRONGLY
recomend you all get to see them, and I ain't just saying that. Cause if
i was juging just by the 1st time I saw them that eveing, I wouldn't be
so pleased. I would still recomend, cause it was good. But that last
show was so great that I just have to tell you you NEED to see them.
Though it could be hard for some of you. As far as I know, Clean And
Friendly, named after a laundymat, only play around here. So if you
live in New Jersey or Virginia or Michigan or Chicago or California or
Russia or where ever you may be, you'll have to come to providence to see
them. But if your lucky, maybe they will go on tour? If anything, you
just have to here the tootsie role song. But i dunno. I will keep you
posted on Clean And Friendly conerts, provided clean and friendly keep me
posted (hint hint, Nate D.).

Anyways, after the conert, I was talking to non listmember Vanessa G.
She used to do tech work for a theater group I used to be in, called the
All Childrens theater, or ACT for short. She came to ACT durring my last
year or so there to do tech stuff. She is in her mid 20s or so, i'm
asuming, so it was a job for her. But I left last season, it was too
much for me. And so she asked my why ileft cause she said, in the most
sinserity so its likely true, that, sure the money was nice but the only
reason she really desided came back to ACT this past season was cause of
me, and then I wasn't there. I was so touched!!! oy!!!! No one has said
anything nicer to me. Thanks vanessa. You should join my list. Nate,
you probably know her better than the rest of us, spread the word, ok,
jay?????


Anyways, fire works, blah blah blah, happy new year, blah blah. I went
home. and the 1st thing i did was I put on this week's album
recomendation.

By the time I started high school, i had about 30 or 40 records. My
record collection now exceeds 1000. But the strange thing is that all
through this, my favorite album has remained the same. The Beatles's
Abbey Road. It has been my favorite album for nerely 4 years now, and i
have herd a LOT of pretty damn good albums since then. I put it on and
PHGDKJHKDJHKDHH. Wow, it was so good. I haven't lissened top it in a
while though. In 9th and tenthe grade, i put it on both side of a teape,
cause i was generaly pretty unhappy then, and i would set the tape player
to keep flipping the tape and i must have lissened to it like 3 or 4
times a day. I didn't get sick of it, it still had that same feeling it
did in the begining. It was technicly the last official beatles album.
And a break through at that. It was the first album ever to have a
hidden track. Thats common practice today, but this one was the first.
The song her majest went unlisted, and there was like a 17 second
nothing, and people would think (oh the record is over) but then they
woul;d here this short little song. Unfortunately, later pressings of
the album, including every CD copy list Her Majesty as a song and even
put on a track mark, so the first hidden track is no longer hidden to un
knowing lisseners. The 2nd song, "Something," is the song that Kurt
Cobain of Nirvana turned into the song "Something in the way." That same
song is also the song that Frank Sinatra, a man who HATES rock n roll,
called the most beutiful love song ever. other great songs include
Octopus's Garden, Come Together, Here Comes The Sun, Oh! Darling and its
all great. The last song on the 1st side is my favorite song of all time
too. Its Called "I Want You (she so heavy)". And its cool the way they
did it. The first side is kind of sad and kind of says "I know how ya
feel, i've been there." ANd then the second side says "Everything will
get better." Then tryies to cheer you up by pointing out some nice
things then telling some short silly stories, then Ringo takes his only
drums solo. He was so good at just getting the feeling out of that solo,
rather than showing off what he could do, which he usualy doesn't do, he
always go for the drums that fit in best with the music, and he executedn
that perfectly with his solo, it was well timed and just seemd to fit in
perfectly. Then a ripping claptonesque solo by george, then the finale.
It is just plain old magnificent. I love it, and you should all love it
too.

Anyways, thats it for this issue. Next issue I wil have more of writing,
as well as some new ideas i've had, and reasons behind cutting my hair.
Thanks for tuning in foalks, i know this was a long issue. Especialy
since it just covered a day. But oh well, gives you something to do on
your last official day of vacation. Is it? I dunno. I think we get
back the 5th. Someone in a providence public school tell me please.
Thanks.

Anyways, good night.

Happy new year!!!

Love,
your clean and friendly friend,
Ben "Ben Garber" Garber.


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