45 Date: Tue, 25 Nov 1997 23:36:47 -0500 (EST)
Subject: Bees with Large Stingers (beware)

Hey everybody, you can welcome Ben Garber back into your homes, and this
time he has brought some luggage with him. Not just one or two pieces
of
luggage, but a shocking FIVE!!!!! Can you believe it? The first one is
a young woman who's given name is kate, in one for or the other. She
teaches us that, in the event that a surname has a hyphen, the initials
should be representing each section of the surname. In her case, the
surname becomes NL, making the name I will refer to her on the list as
Kate NL. Kate N-L would be incorrect. Kate NL was introduced to the
list by listmember Liz. G.

The 2nd piece of luggege has also been shipped via Liz G. (good job
liz!!!) This one is called Nico M. Nico, short for Nicolas, though no
saint, is an extremely renouned pianist. Is renound the write word?
He's very good, and is asked more than frequently to compose music and
play piano. He has replaced the music taeacher at his school as the
musical directer for the school's theatrical production. He was a
former
fEDERAL rOOsTeR. Though he may not know this, the other roosters voted
to kick him out of the band, for the soul purpose of making an album
called "the federal roosters and nico". (for those who do not know, the
velvet underground has an album called the velvet under ground and nico.
Though, that was a different nico, and is now dead.).Welcome to the
list.

The 4th member to join is me. I finaly put my name on, mainly for more
acurate logging. The 5th is David R.

Speeking of David R, a different David R. is celbrating his 18th
birthday
tomarrow: non list member David Rosenblatt. The next day is my mom's
and my advvisers and thanks giving. Happythanks giving. And do not
forget that MY birthday is coming up. On december 7th, I will be the
shocking age of. Please, called the Ben Garber Birthday Hotline at
401-421-4003, and wish me a happy birthday. And list member Laura S.
turns 17 on January 11th. Derik y. has the same birthday as me, and
list
member Liz G. is 16 on January 4th I believe, so get prepared
everybody!!
Anyways, i have nothing use full to say. Let me bore you now with a
story which I have writen. Remember, all copyright stuff aplies, I OWN
THE STORY. This was a story I wrote, alrgely inspired by list member
Kate P. Why, i dunno. I just made it up one day while I was talking to
her but she couldn't talk to me cause AOL is an ass hole.

The Treched 2nd Most Beautiful Princess
By BEN
GARBER
Once upon a time, there was the most beautiful princess in the entire
world. She was so beautiful that flowers would pick her to give to
other
flowers for their annivereries. And because of this, she was destined
to
become queen. Unless something happened.
"Like if she died?" asked somebody reading this story.
"Yes," I replied.
One day, while sailing in a boat with the most beautiful prince, the
queen got eaten by a shark, which made the spot for queen become open.
But no one could get it, because it was all ready taken by the most
beautiful princess. The most beautiful princess was pronounced queen at
a special queening ceremony in the palace. She got her crown, she got
her thrown fitted, she got a new gown, everything!!! And everybody was
so happy for her, except one person.
The 2nd most beautiful princess was very upset. Why? Because she
would
never become queen. The way that it worked was that when the queen
died,
the first most beautiful princess would become queen. When the 1st most
beautiful princess died, then the 3rd most beautiful princess would
become queen. But the 2nd and the 4th princess would remain princesses
their entire lives. The 4th princess didn't mind, neither did the 3rd.
But that 2nd princess, boy was she pissed.
She decided that this pissed her off so much that she wanted to get
some
revenge. But what could she do? She thought and thought and thought
and thought and thought and thought until she finally exploded. No,
just
kidding. She didn't explode, but she came up with an idea. What was
it?
She decided that she would kill the 1st most beautiful princess and
then
Now the question was how.
How could she kill the 1st most beautiful princess? She thought and
thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and thought and
thought until finally she exploded. This time I'm not joking, she
really
did explode. Just kidding!!! She didn't explode. But, however, she
did
come up with an idea. She would wait until it was dark and night time
and everyone was asleep. Then, she would sneak in and stab the most
beautiful princess.
So, the 2nd most beautiful princess waited until it was dark and night
time and everyone was asleep. Then, she snuck in and stabbed the most
beautiful princess. But unfortunately, she didn't die and she got up
and
stabbed the 2nd most beautiful princess instead and the 2nd most
beautiful princess died. Just kidding again! Boy, you're gullible.
You would believe ANYthing I told you. What really happened was the 2nd
most beautiful princess successfully killed the 1st most beautiful
princess. Then, she decided to go to do the same to the 3rd most
beautiful princess. Now it was just her and the 4th most beautiful
princess who remained. The 2nd most beautiful princess threw the knife
into the river, then played innocent and sad. No one ever suspected her
and she got away with it. She never got caught! No one else ever
became
queen because the 3rd and 1st were dead, and the 2nd and 4th couldn't
become queen by law. So the town never had another queen as long as it
lived. This never caused any problems really. The queen didn't do
anything, she just got paid a lot. So in fact, this was a good thing.
The town's people were all happy now cause they didn't have to pay as
much taxes as they used to. So all in all, this was a good thing. The
lesson is this story is that there is nothing wrong with murder. In
fact, sometimes, it even pays off! Go figure!!! Well, that's the end
of
this story. Bye Bye
The End

List member Mike M. of Oregon writes:

Dear Ben,
Ben, you better mention me turning 19 on November 26
Love,
Mike

Dear Mike,
I will. Don't worry.
Love,
Ben

List member Michelle ?. of Waly Disney World writes:

dear ben,
well, i haven't written to you yet, so i figured, what better time than
now? sorry about that. your movie sounds really interesting. if i could
act, drive, or lived anywhere near province i would want to be the first
to join the crew- unfortunatly, i don't. i do have a video camera, and
could figure out how to do that stuff though. and i could always
hitchhike, but there are scary people out there. so basically i'll be
bored in hamilton nj while you are out crashing cars. oh well, have lots
of fun for me.
love,
michele

Dear Michelle,
The first order of buisness here is to let you know I live no where neer
cape cod. Well, yes, but its still a bit of a drive. Province Town
is
a totaly different place than Providence itself. There Are only 2
providences in the country, and I live in on of them. The other is in
utah, I believe. The one I live in is in the state of Rhode Island and
Providenc Plantations (hom many of you knew that was the state's full
name). Province Town is in massachusets. 2ndly, acting abilaty is not
needed, i have desided to make the film lineless, and just have the
music
playing. If you want, the list will collectively save the less than $20
is should cost to bus you up here so we can feature you in the movie,
hows that??? And, in the mean time, do not worry about NJ, as I am
posative there are other people there. Just pay your tolls and be
happy,
pappy. Ok?
Love,
Ben.


This week's album reviw goes to an album I just recieved today
called The Magical Music of Walt Disney. This 1978 4LP boxed set
collects some wonderful disney songs, including songs from Dumbo,
Whinnie
the Pooh, Snow White, Small World, Robin Hood, Pinocio, and oh so damn
many. Mary Poppins too. Though, i would over all recomend getting the
actual soundtracks, not just this collecetion which is more of a best
of.
I have Whinnie the Pooh And Tigger too, Dumbo, Snow White and Pinoio
all ready, as well as others, (i forget if i have the Jungle Book or
not). But those can be hard to find. I have had most of these since
the
age of child hood. I haven't seen dumbo in years and years, but i
remembered every bit of it. I remember always LOVING the Pink Elephants
seen, i would watch that over and over. My friend had a VCR back in
like
1984 and he had it on tape and I would go over and just demand to watch
it, that was one of my all time favorites, especialy the pink elephants.
And I could watch the whole thing in my head just by lissening to the
song. Same with the whinnie the pooh songs, but not like dumbo. How
many of youy remember Rumbly in my Tumbly? THough it is missing my
favorite whinnie the pooh song: The Rain Rain Rain Came Down Down Down.
I think that was from the Blustery day. There is a newer disney songs
boxed set which probably has more than this one, but I have not seen it
on vinal and there for have not geotten it, that was released in 94 i
think. But this one is great condition, its rare, and only cost me $20.
So I'm happy. But we ALL grew up with these cartoons, so they are damn
nostalgic to all of us.

list member Regina B. notafied me that Hanson was coming town. Or close
to it, to Boston. I immediately asked how i could get my self some
tickets. She did not know so I went to the official hanson websight
(www.hansonline.com) to find out. Aperently, there are no tickets
available, you have to win them from Kiss 108. But theres a catch, that
puzzled me. You have to be 21. I don't get it? Why is Hanson 21+.
Well, here is what I figure: Massachusets is a VERY strict state.
Hanson is playing at The Avalon, a popular club that serves drinks.
Now,
most clubs you have to be 21 to buy drinks, but kids always manage to
get
people who are 21+ to get them drinks. Massachusets solved the
"problem"
by barring people under 21 from clubs that serve alcohol. But who's
gonna get wasted at a hanson concert? Thats plain old stupid. The only
people who like hanson are under 18, let alone 21. Its Teeny pop.
Hanson aren't even 18 yet. That infuriates me. I am going to boston
next year to study music. An important part of MY career is being able
to see concerts, is what I feel at least. I gain a lot of influence by
seeing concerts, especialy when teaching kids about playing live music,
which is what my job will be. But, I am barred from clubs. Boston, a
town known for a great music seen and lots of great clubs. But i
wouldn't know cause I'm not allowed in. This is plain old stupid in the
town that hosts the top school for popular music. I can't go to house
of
blues or mama kin or the middle east or any where. And those are very
good clubs. I WANT kids to go to the house of blues. Any kid who gets
into the blues is very cool. And what about next year when I am playing
gigs in boston clubs (performers can be as young as possable). That
means that i can't invite most of my friends. No body on this list will
be able to come see me play in boston, cause boston won't let you.
Unles
you can fuind a club that doesn't serve alcohol, which you NEVER will.
That also means that if i want to see a concert, I have to come down to
providence to see it, cause thats the closest place I can get in. And
that will cost a lot of extra money and cause me to miss work. Thats
unfair, I'm an american citisen, but massachusets doesn't recognise
that.
As far as they are concered, i'm just property of my parents, like
their
TV, i'm no different than my parents's TV, until i'm 21. Whats up with
that? This calls for a complaint to the ACLU. TThats gonna make next
year hell because I will have to keep checking the providence club's
websites. Here i can just pick up the Pheonix, but no paper in boston
has listings for providence clubs, so i'm gonna miss a lot that I will
want to see. GROAR i hate massachusets. What an ass hole state. I
demand live music!!! There's always the option of fake ID, which is
undoubtedly a must in boston. But I'd feel much better and comftrable
being a legal human being.

anyways, this issue sucks, don't we know it? But next week will feature
my quarter grades. I just wanted to get a list out now cause I will be
gone for a few days and I want you all to be not waiting TOO long. So I
figure HEY GET AN ISSUE OUT NOW!!! Every one send list member Emmanuel
M. flowers, please. Have a nice eveing. Night night.

Love,
Your mentor,
Ben Garber


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