37 Subj: A Talking Cow?
Date: 97-11-02 12:35:49 EST

yes!! And I would like to start off by welcomeing the newest member of
this agrarian list of mine: DAVID "DAVE" NELSON!!!!!!! David "The
Shiznits" Nelson is a graduate of Hendercan (spellinG?) and is now a
freshman some where in Washington DC. I forget the name, but be assured
its a good school. My davey wouldn't settle for less. His dorm is
suposed to be the number one in the country for both pizza deliveries and
sex. How it going dave?

Dave is a member of Lynchpin, a very Hevey Metal band (do you mind that
title? You struck me as a bit between Downset and Nurosis), dave plays
Lead guitar (your lead, right). They currently have a 7" for $2, and a
CD for $7. I recomend both, as they both hav different songs. Dave is
also the leader of one of MY bands, Big Balloons. I play drums in that
band, a kid named Jonnah who i met at berklee on bass, and Lars Drew is
suposedly out lead vocalist but dave does it insted. So its really me
and Jonnah, baclking dave. Dave plays accoustic guitar for this band,
its not really heavy at all. Dave wrote and sings both of this bands
official songs, both of which we recorded this summer. The first one is
called (Here Comes My) Penis" and a follow up, "Vagina". We plan on
making Penis a 7" at some point, with vagina the flip side. Maybe a 12"
with remixes? maybe a full album! And I would like to welcome him to
our list.


To fill dave in on whats happening here, so he doesn't feel lost, and to
fill ion those people who are lost, here is a run down of what is
happening here:

1. The Record Player Saga
What has happond:
In the transport to berklee, my all ready piece of shit record
player became much shittier, and the left channel has since been cutting
out and there has been a pain in the ass buzzing along side it. It drove
me nuts!!! I finaly could not take it any more, and last saturday, I
went up to boston, getting a half early birthday present, half money I
have to earn, and got a Technics SL-1200MK2 (not the Techniques SL600 as
I said last week, that was a memory errer). This is the same record
player every DJ uses, and every KIND of DJ (most of my stereo is made up
of DJ eqipment). How ever, as the store clerk said, "I get a dozen of
these in and they are gone with in a week." They are that popular, and
it is the truth. Every radiostation or scratch-em-up or what ever has
this model, it has been on the market for at least 13 years or so with
little or NO improvement. So anyways, it is out of stock, so we have to
order it from another store and have it shipped. This is just as well,
as shipping is cheeper than sales tax. Well, since the last newsletter,
this record player has arrived. I LOVE IT!!! Its got this cool strobe
thingy, its got a light built in so you can see what track to put it on
when it is dark, a cuing arm, the tone arm is adjustable by height,
weight and skating, its got a ready to use 45 adapter, a pitch changing
knob (like a wammy bar on a guitar, but this is a sliding one), feather
touch buttons, its heavy weit so it doesnt pick up much noise at all.....
And this thing can fucking scrach. It is so easy to do it on this.
And if you just push it, it will glide for a while, until you hit the
start button, when it will instantly bring it back to normal speed. And
you can do that back words too. And on top of that it sounds
FANTASTIC!!!! No one can lissen to this thing and tell me records sound
like crap. This sounds much better than any CD. The thing with CDs is
they sound like they are in a box, a record is capable of more frequency
and more sound, and more natural sounding sound. You can get a wider
sound with records, it pushes out more. The problem with CDs is you
can't turn off the Dolby, its always on no matter what. And no one can
say CDs are cooler, this thing is just cool. CDs have convenience going
for them, but so what??? Theres a lot you still can't do with a CD.
Sure, there are things you can't do with a record, but i like the records
advantage better.

what is left to follow:
Well, i love this very much. And at some point, who knows when, i am
going to save up and get a 2nd one. Then there is also thie issue of a
vinal vacume and other things like that.

2. The Movie
whats happond:
Well, a directer named Michael (Mike-el? I dunno how to spell) Corente
(that could be wrong too), directer of Federal Hill and American Buffalo,
and the Forloner brothers, writers of King Pin and Dumb and Dumber, got
together to do another movie called Outside Providence. This movie
features George Wendt (Norm from Cheers), Alec Baldwin (Hes been in a
bunch of movies, but i dunno which ones), Jonnathan Brandis (ladybugs,
seaquest dsv, hes a dick) and a suposed cameo appearence by Hunter S.
Tompson. This is a pretty good sized movie. And I almost had a
principle role, a VERY VERY principle role, I made it through 4
auditions, and probably would have had it , but they desided to go to new
york to find more people. So I would have had the part, but they found
ONE person better than me, I am only 2nd. If something happons to the
person who got my role, I get the part. But its too late now, filming
is half done all ready. But I went in thursday, cause they still wanted
me to do extra and stand-in work. I did A LOT of stand-in work. This
means that while the real actors are getting into costume, or on break,
they use me to set the lighting for that character. I was going to be an
extra in the bar seen, thn they kept moving me around, then they took me
out. SO as of right now, I'm not in the movie. But they said they still
want me for the URI seen. That pisses me off though, I would have had a
principle role, but now I don't even get paid. I just stood around most
of the day, eating the free food (we get damn good food, for dinner they
gave us pizza and buffalo wings in hot sauce). I met jonnathan brandis,
but hes stuck up. At lunch, I went up to get some water, and so I
reached for my cup, and alec baldwin came up behind me, and grabbed a
cup too, so i looked at him like "no, you first", but he said "no, you
can go first", so i got my water, said thanks, and walked back to my
table as Alec got his water. George Wendt was all ready gone, no more
with him, and Hunter won't be on till later. But either way, once it is
closer to release, i am going to write a letter to Conan O'Brian and ask
to be on his show cause I was a stand in this movie.

How many of you remember that commecial fo El Paso Salsa or something
like that, and the guy goes "This stuff is made in... new york city?"
Then the whole bar stops and goes "New York City?" I some one who was in
that commercial. Sean Connery's birthday?

3. The School Saga

well, after staying in the 10th grade for 2 years, i started my THIRD
high schole at the Alternate Learning Project (ALP). This is a small
school just before the cranston border, on Elmwood Ave, next to (but NOT)
Finestine. I like ALP. people are cool, i'm meeting new people. People
are pretty cool there. Yesterday, I took my SATs. I didn't finish
ANYthing. I did OK, but i think i failed the spannish section. oh well,
we will see. I am applying next year to Berklee College of Music, NYU,
SNL and MADTV, and i dunno what else. But I hope for berklee. I want
every one on this list to go to college in Boston, so we can all chill.

4. Letters

Normaly, I try to get in 2 letters from readers in each week to answer.
The first one here is from Jess S. of B Mom, Dad.

Ben,
If you believe so much in the whole witch burning idea, what do you think
of the Salem Witch trials of 1692 (Crucible)? Personally, I think they
are mighty stupid. But, hey youre entitled to your opinion....also, if
you believe in these, what do you think of the blacklist of the 1950's?
--Jessica Anne

Dear Jessica,
I want you to know that it is my full intent to rid of every last which
in the country. The black list was opretty damn cool.
Love,
Ben

the 2nd is from Lauren S. of Springfield, Uranis.

Dear Ben,
Did you see seinfeld? all today I have been saying Serentiy NOW. Its
like a disease that show, it just spreads... like butter, a whore... you
know... anyway, I was wondering if you liked it?

- Lauren

Dear Lauren,
I got sick of sign feld a long time ago when I realised it was all the
same joke ove and over again. Its never anything new anymore. So to
answer your question, no.
Love,
Ben

You can send your stuff to me by following instructions at the bottom. I
think this letter was better this summer, when I had more time to think,
eh? I think its loosing its flava a bit.

I would like to congradulate list member Lana B. on the getting her
lisence, list member Jess S. on maybe getting hers and running hard, the
B. Twins, both list members, on their 17th birthdays comming up and their
tennis, Carl S. on his role in the Moses Brown school play, Matt R. on
his role and his beard, and Liz G. who promised to take me shopping for
womens clothing.

This week's album recomendation is the Red Hot Chilli Peppers's Red Hot
Chilli Peppers (self titled, their very 1st album). You got a pumkin in
your pants? Then this is the album for you. Featuring the usual Anthony
and Flea, as well as Cliff Martinez on drums, and Jack Sherman on guitar.
Its really cool, hi lights are Buckle Down, Mommy Where's Daddy, True
Men Don't Kill Coyotes and Get Up And Jump. Its got a cool kind of
funk/punk/skunk/junk/cheese kind of silly kind of thing going. I love
it. But it is RHCPs shortest album, no question. I like all their
albums except one hot minute, that album sucked. I HATE dave navarou
(who is now their guitarist). They have now lost the funk, and they just
aren't RHCP any more. RHCP has been one of those bands that if one album
wasn't enough, you could just go to the next one for more. They changed
quite a bit for Blood Sugar Sex Magik, but it was still cool, it was
still RHCP. But dave killed it, and mother's milk was the last real RHCP
album, sad considering it was only their 4th. Blood Sugar was the last
official one. One Hot Minute just isn't RHCP, and I curse any one who
supports that album. I'm of corse not counting Out In L.A.

Oh well, I bid you all fare well, happy holloween. Next issue will be
the holloween special. What did you all go as? what'd you do? Let me
know for next week's "mailing from hell" holloween special. See you all
later. Get more members.

Bye Bye.

Love,
Ben


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this mailing is anti-dave mathews
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