34 Subj: the whole wig wam is angry :-(
Date: 97-10-19 23:20:19 EDT

today is not mickey mouse's birthday. Nope, but today, assuming you read
this on munday, is the birthday of not 2, but two list members? Who you
ask? Well, lets play a game, lets see how well you know the list
members. The first one is from Cranston, Rhode Iceland (thats what Leon
calls it). SHe, being female, so i think, iattends the 11th grade at
Cranston West high school. She really likes the band plexi, as her
obsession for the smashing pumpkins has died down. She is now 16 years
old. who is she?

the second is from enciertas, california, or something like that.
basicly, it is san diego. How ever, she is in the freshman year at the
university of santa cruz. she has a thing for bjork, sugar ray and lets
go bowling, and is friends with the people that were sublime. she used
to hang out with them. she prefers dogs to cats. she is now 18, who is
she?

there is a 3rd person who has been resently birthdayed, but i for got.
List member Jessa S. of somewhere neer chicago turned 16? or 17? 16 i
think, i'm not sure. SET THE RECORD STREIT, JESSICA!!!!

woof, i think i will be tired. I am proud to announce that I have
desided to start my own country. Questions that you are asking:

"Where is it?"

This is a very good question. I'm not exactly sure yet, but it will
probably be on a field, farm or small island some where in the american
area.

"What will it be called?"

The name of my country is Elephant country.

"What about the olimpics?"

Elephant Country will be in a future olimpics. I will be on every teem.
The rest of players will be made up of list members Val H, Jen H, Eric
LaR, Dave McC, and Jeremy K. list member Lana B. will serve as our
representative juge.

"What kind of government will it have?"

I am the supreme ruler. But once I die, the country no longer exits.
Though list member Martha P. is the vice dictator, she really has no
power.

"How do I become a citicen?"

You have to apply. I will review you, and maybe I will accept you. If
you are accepted, I will tell you.

"What is your major economic resorse?"

Water. Dirt comes in second.




Do YOU have any questions about Elephant Country? Please, don't
hesitate to ask them.


ok, so i guess i have to answer letters, now domn't I?

The first is from a boy named Jon S, a listmember from Oyejamba, Canada.
What does he write? The following?

Dear Kathy,
I remember you now! I've been trying to figure out who the hell "Ben
Garber" was forever, and then it hit me! You are that nutjob that made
us call him Kathy Ireland!!! Pretty damn cool. Well anyway, if you talk
to Leonard or Gary/Igor, tell them I say hello/shalom.

Jon

Dear Jon,
Leonard suposesdly goes to cranston west, though nobody nknows who he is.
Gary/Igor was suposedly responsable for the Papa Gino's Hepatitus B
scare of 1995. He now works at Domino's.
Love,
Kathy

the 2nd letter is from list member Spiderman, of New, Mexure.

hi,
interesting trivia i learned while visiting Spain for my modeling
career...A bulls dick is 6 times larger than the average mans. now is
there actually a place like in the guiness book of world records that
gives this info. on the size of a guys dick should be? Ben if you or
anyone out there has this information i think it would be nice to hear
since guys will lie and tend to increase the size of there dick by over
four inches everytime.
Love, SpiderWOMAN (spidermans my boyfriend back home)

Dear Spider,
Though I do not know the answer these questions myself, I would recomend
you check out AOL's TECH LIVE. If you wait in line for a little while,
an AOL representative will be more than happy to answer any questions you
have. Please let us know what you thaey say. In the mean time, lets
have some hamburgers. you strike me as someone who likes beef. am I
right?
Love,
Ben


The movie has yet to call me back yet, thats a bad sign usualy. crap crap
crap. But i will be hopeful. Oh well though, i didnt expect it. But we
will see. I'll let you know once I get a definate answer. Did I mention
before that the movie was written by list member Krissy F's uncle(s)?
They also wrote dumb & dumber and kingpin.

this weeks album is R.E.M's Atomic For The People. I know many of you
have it all ready, but I just got it. Everybody hurts is such a great
song. I haven't even lissend to the 2n side yet. But damn, its good.
Its a pretty album. Though Michael Stipe is another voice that can get
on my nerves. But you know one thing that might make this a great album,
isn't R.E.M. at all. If you'll notice, orchastral arangements were made
by John Paul Jones. Basicly that means, he scored it. He added the
finishing touches to the album. And for those of you wondering, no, that
is not the pope. yes, this is the same John Paul Jones that played Bass
and Keybord for Led Zeppelin. He was the major session bassist in
england when Jimmy Page brought him into led zeppelin. Not only for his
bass work, but he was always noted as an exellent arranger. I will tell
you more in the next issue. But might this have something to do with his
absesnse from the 1995 page/plant reunion? What else has he been doing?
He is supposed to have a solo album coming out soon. But, the point here
is to pick up R.E.M.s Atomic for the people. I recomend it.

Speaking of led zeppelin, i have a pointless anouncement to make. Those
of you who know me at all know my over obsessiveness with The Beatles, as
they are my favorite band. MAny of you know that. Those who know me a
bit better know that my 2nd favorite has been led zeppelin. But no one
really knows my 3rd favorite. Thats cause i've never really had one, its
been a tough choice. But i finaly found one. My official 3rd favorite
band is radio head, wonder why? ask me. But thats just an announcement.

Who were the 2 birthdays? The 16 year old is list member Kate P. The `8
year old is list member Erin S. Don't for get my birthday is right
around the corner, on december 7th. I will be 18. Can you believe it? I
feel like an old fucking man.

List member Tara, how are you? Please reply.

I got tickets to see David Letterman, free of charge on wednesday
November 5th. The problem is i don't think I can go. But i guess i will
go now anyways.

see yall later. happy days everyone.

Love,

Kathy


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
---------------------------------------------
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
---------------------------------------------
©1997 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com