28 Subj: Thank You Fred
Date: 97-09-23 18:29:30 EDT

as many of you have sadly herd, dunkin donuts's spokes man, Fred, has
retired. This is sad news, because, as many of you know, dunkin donuts
was one of the only 2 companies to have continuously good commercials.
The other one, of corse, is Volks Wagon. But VW has not a spokes man. I
have grown up with fred, i remember him from as yopung as i was at 4
years old saying "time to make the donuts." or "we make em fresh, day
and night." How long was he the spokes man? for ever. he will be
sorely missed. It will take quite a job to find some one to replace him,
if thats even possable. Good bye Fred, we love you.

I hope you all got your free donuts (and coffee if you like it). I got 5
donuts. I would have gotten more but 2 of them sold out by the time i
got their. There are 5 dunkin donuts on my direct path home from
school.And thats just direct path, if i moved over a street i would find
at least 2 more.

BEN'S INSIGHT ON....
I think email beepers are stupid. Why? Well, lets face it, most of your
email is advirtisements. If you had an email beeper, you would get
beeped every 10 seconds saying "please see me naked", and thats just
plain annoying. This is why i stronly dicourage email beepers.


Do you suffer from unsightly BLEMISHES, ACNE or ZITS, yech. Or do you
know
someone that suffers? If yes, then you or your friends should try what I
used
when I was in High School. It really worked for me. My friends and I
had acne
but my mom made up this great Acne Remover and they were gone the next
day.
WOW I thought and so did my friends who wanted it too. They also wanted
to
know how to make it, but I just gave them a bottle of Acne Remover and
they
were happy. So were the girls that we all dated. The pimples usually
went away
the next day, just in time for a date that weekend. I couldn't believe
my eyes or
should I say my face. I held onto that recipe for years, thinking that
someday
I'll manufacture it and sell it, but I never did. Now you too can make
it yourself.
Imagine not having to pay hundreds of dollars to the drug store for
expensive
products when you can make a better product yourself right at home!
That's
what we did and it worked great for me.


LEttERs?

Our first letter is from Regina B. of Splish, Splah. SHe writes:

Dear Ben,
So Ben, What's your ideal idea of a dream date? Mine would be me and
you, you and me, alone, and you telling me that telephone story, oooh
that turned me on:) Well, gotta go....

Love ;)
Regina 112

Dear Regina,
Well, my dream.... Well, it is me and Nev Campell from party of 5, and we
deside to go work out at the gym. To stay healthy. But, we didn't
realised that the gym desided to close, so here we are locked in, and we
can't get out, and no one else is there. We are bored out of our minds,
until I find Parcheezee behind the front desk, so we play. She won
though, crap!!
Love,
Ben

The next letter is from Leon Z. of Tigger, Too. He writes like this:

Dear Ben,
Okay, Ben:
There is a definite problem with the world today. Let me tell you what it
is.
When people go outside, for...say, a newspaper, they see grass all over
the place. Why grass? Because people think it looks nice. This man would
say: "AGH! GREEN!" and would cry like a Romano having spotted yellow.
This is why we must all change our ways. We should keep the grass, we
should keep it green, but we should not, under any circumstances, go
outside for a paper.
-Leon Zeff, the Rotunda of Desire
Love,
Leon

Dear Leon,
You raise a good point. I believe the problem, how ever, is not the
grass, nor is it the paper. But rather, the role of the parent. Your
disgust is obviously, with out a doubt, a direct result of bad parenting.
You will find that by intruducing good parenting, you may be a worth
while person after all. If you cry and your parent gives you a donut
because that stops you from crying, you have been spoiled, that is bad
parenting. If you are crying and your parent hits you, you have been
disaplined, and you have now been introduced to good parenting. I will
go out for the paper as long as it is not to cold outside, thank you very
much.
Love,
Ben

Here is something i would like to start: a issuely album
recomendation. This issue's recomended album is the Pulp Fiction
soundtrack. This has been one of my favorites for a while, though it
took me over a year to be able to love the whole thing. It is an album
with a few catchy tracks to start out with, such as Jungle Boogie and You
Never Can Tell. But after a bit, you start to like urge overkill and al
green much more, and it eventualy turns into one of the greatest
compilations i've ever herd, i am in love with it. Make sure you all
have it.

I am curently applying berklee college of music for next year. I have
officialy disided i will be an educator. Probably teaching Music History
(or just Rock N Roll history if its possable) and Jazz. I am also
applying to harvard, though we all know i won't get in. Or even if i do
get in, there is no way i would ever go. But i just want to apply for
the hell of it.

List member Jerry St. J. drove me to p-funk the other night. Then drove
me home from the house of an unspecified list member who had a party.
Many list members were there, bunt shall go unmentioned. But i convinced
Jerry that I was a lion. And he was scared out of his mind. I told him
I was King of the Lions and growled at him and he freaked. That was fun.
Anyways, i'm off to do nothing. happy tuesday.

send letters and things.

question: When is theh next GOOD issue going to come out?
answer: I do not know.

p-funk was awsome.

good night every one. enjoy breakfaqst, get new members. thanks for
your time and money.

love,
ben


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