25 Subj: A Tale Of Two Siamese Twins
Date: 97-09-05 23:04:41 EDT

I had you all fooled!!!!






I would like to welcome 3 new members!!! The first is Lana B of the new
11th grade at Classical High School. The 2nd is from the new 12th grade
at Wheeler School, some one who would rather not be mentioned!!! And,
Carl S of the new Moses Brown 10th grade. Welcome, we now have 39
members!!!! Can you all recruit 11 more!!! Thjat would be absolutely
golden. Gold like your mother.

last night i was at the BRU free concert, this week featuring some one
else and former Belly front girl Tonya Donnely, she was excelent. For
tonya i sat in the frontest most seat in the center, DIRECTLY in front of
her, i was the 1st she wpould see when she looked up.
After the first song she said "Its starting to get dark"
so i said "no!"
and she said "Whats wrong with the dark? I like the dark."
so I said "Well, then we can't see"
so she said "Well why do you need to see to eher the music?"
so i said "But we want to see you."
and so she said "Oh. OK."
And that was my on stage conversation with tonya donely. That was pretty
cool i think. She put on a fantastic set. The first band wasnt that
good. Me and Pete Something went around for about 1 half hour or 45
minutes trying to get people to sign a petition to get dogs banned from
television, we got about 57 signatures. That was pretty fun. I was
going to get Tonya's but i was afraid to ask her. Oh well.

Before the concert i had to do an interview for a school, A.L.P.
(alternative learning project). I prefer to call it A.L.F. though, list
member emmanuel s. says thats 2 blocks from his house, it is a small
public school in south providence that I DID get excepted to and will be
attending, and today was orientation, i get my schedual monday and on
tuesday we start classes. I don't want to go to school!!! oh well
fuckeddit.

i got sumo letters this week, maybe youd like to read them:

List member Liz G of the Frutopia Republic writes:
Dear Ben,
list member martha p said to give you a report on how she's doing. she's
having fun at smith and grooving with non-list-member jenny aisenberg and
she's very excited because her parents bought her a scrabble board.
~me

Dear Liz G,
what the fuck did you do that for? I don't want you cluttering my list
with nonsense!!! what the fuck makes you think you can come on to my
list and report about other god damned list members, eh? Yeah? Well
fuck you!!!
Love,
Ben

List member Jerry St. J. of Watermellon, Man writes:
Dear Benjamin,

My name is Johan Doehan. I have hacked into a random screen name found
on your recently cancelled mailing list. I do this to conceal my
identity from you, your family, your friend, your emu, and the
authorities.

Your mailing list was being used as a front for an underground
organization known as the 11 Apes. We were using this "simple mailing
list" to get hidden messages to our 'associates' across the country.
Till this point everything was going smoothly, but in light of recent
events, we are being forced to take drastic measures.

I regret to inform you that I must offer up an ultimatum to you. You
must either reinstate your mailing list immediately, as though nothing
had happen, we suggest claiming temporary insanity, or we will be forced
to kidnap you and allow the toe nail on your small toe to grow to such a
length that we might hang you from it until you agree to reinstate the
mailing list. If we must take the latter of these two actions however,
we will then, after the reinstating of the mailing list, promptly kill
you and replace you with a robot of yourself.

Love,
Jerry St. J.


dear Jerry St. J,
you, my beloved partner of ice cream, are the most selfish person i have
evr met. This list is not for YOU, it is for ME!! If you are going to
be so selfish than you can just go taboganing!!! Don't be trying to take
over my list!! why are you so selfish??
Love,
Ben Send your letters to the instructions below.

Now, as you may remember, a few weeks ago i pointed out the best albums
of the decade. Well, as all of you have thought, what does ben think are
the best movies??
well, as some one who doesnt see many, here are my favorites, forgetting
some, not in order:

A League Of Their Own
Contact
Men In Black
Wayne's World
Wayne's World 2
Happy Gilmore
Forrest Gump
Killing Zoe
Ghost
Backbeat
I Shot Andy Warhol
Smoke
Quiz Show
Pulp Fiction
Mighty Aphroditie

I have not seen many movies though, so i can't totally say. I have herd
much ado about Dead Man Walking, The Usual Suspects, Bullets Over
Broadway and Get Shorty, though i have seen none of them. Many may
wonder "why not schindler's list?" That is because i don't think
schindler's list is entertaining. When you go to the movies on friday
night, you aren't going to see Schindler's List, it is no doubt a great
movie though, i thought it was excelent, but its more depressing and
educational than entertaining.

There is also my movie "Schindler's Pissed" where he gets a machine gun
for Chanukah and starts having some fun. But i think that would be
inapropriate as well.... Espeshaly since I'm Jewish.

Some of the worst movies would include
Jurrasic Park
Jurrasic Park 2
Scream
Fear
The Beans Of Egypt, Maine
The Doors
Devil's Own

but i only try to see good movies, i have missed most bad ones. Can you
send your list of 90s movies? Please do.

AN ARTICLE--
--------------clip here----------------
Many questions arise in my mind:

"In which of our cognitive faculties are the paralogisms of natural
reason and the phenomena connected together?"

"Whence comes necessity, the solution of which involves the relation
between our faculties and the discipline of pure reason?"

Here is what I've discovered:

Dear Archie,
I appreciate the miniature pool table you sent me for my bridal
shower. I've made it the central focus of my basement. Tom and Sabina
tried to steal it from me, but I was too quick for them.

Peace,
Jeff

It all makes sense to me, says Leon Zeff, aka Hunter Howe? Yes.

--------------clip here----------------

This week's story, or not story rather but viewer submitance is from list
member Marissa L.

A Candle In The Wind
by: Marissa Lytle a.k.a. XXTGVBXX@aol.com
She was truly a candle in the wind, her wick burned brightly, yet
wavered ever so slightly. But how much did we really know and understand
of Englandis own Norma Jean? Did we know her just because of her
royalty, or of her good deeds not just to England? Thatis a question we
all should ask ourselves.
She was married into royalty to Prince Charles, who then gave her 2
beautiful children. I never thought that I would live to see the day
that she would be killed. I always thought that she would die naturally
and without pain. Bad things never happen to good people like that, I
would always tell myself...but I was wrong. But why did it happen? Over
some pictures? Is the media getting so powerful that people would
literally kill just for pictures? The worst part is that as the accident
happened, the photographers stood there taking pictures instead of
helping the injured. I have been reading a few magazines, and I found
out that a picture of Di in the accident was offered to the National
Enquirer for the lump sum of half a million dollars. But the Enquirer
refused, and they proposed to all other magazines that no one except the
pictures of Di in the accident, or print them out. I for one am all for
this, but there will always be that one certain magazine who will want
what no other magazines have. There will always be that one certain
person looking for the largest scoop.
What was Princess Di to me? That's a hard question because I never
personally knew her. But I know that she was a hero to many, her
generous contributions to various charities saved many lives. No matter
how long the press followed her in search of one bad story just to get
the latest bad news to print about her, it never mattered. She had no
bad in her. She was like "Mother Teresa" to all that knew her. The only
thing that truly ruined her life was the divorce from Charles. But she
was still not looked down upon from that. The Queen still loved Di like
a daughter, and she knew that Charles was at fault for the divorce. That
just proves to me how much she was really loved.
In conclusion, I would like to take a moment to remember her kindness,
and all the other wonderful traits about her. I would like to also
express my deepest sympathy for her loss. Princess Di will always remain
a princess in my heart. Princess Di is and always will be the "Norma
Jean" of England whois life ended in the simple gust of a wind. she once
burned brightly, but now can not be seen by all that look in upon her.
To Princess Di: you will be missed.
Thank you for reading my story, and I look forward to
reading your comments about this.

the media gettin ysokek`k`k`k Times New Roman Microsoft Works
MSWorksWPDoc



Well, i think that if this story depresses you, try replacing the word
"paparazi" with words like "pavaroti" or "peperoni". But the press did
the same thing after John Lennon died too. They published pictures of
him after he died, quite disgusting. But that was a nice tribute, i like
it.

Anyways, i will go now, bye bye, submit things.

Love,
Your mother,
Ben Garber


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