23 Subj: Mother, should I build a wall?
Date: 97-09-02 02:05:18 EDT

yello, welcome to the 36th member, GP VE. I regret to inform you that
list member Princess D. has signed off the list for reasons unkown. All
right, that ws uncalled for... but i was amused. But i would, as
everyone other publication is doing, from TV Guide to Nintendo Power
(they are making a game out of her for N64!!!) is doing, send a shot out
to the princess. She really was a magnificant woman. But let this be a
lesson to all of you not to drink and drive, you might kill the princess
in the back seat. Anyways, on to the list...........


I am watching conan o brian now and i am not able to sleep. No word yet
from City Year (this is usualy not a good sign), all i know is i'm on a
waitig list, i will likely be at Finestine this year, in which case iw
ill try to get a job either with 94 HJY or 95 BRU (i'd prefer HJY but i
think BRU has a better chance) doing something, and a 2nd job (maybe)
with Claris, a computer company (that one i can do here at home). And my
berklee grades came: 2 A's, an A- and 4 Bs. wow!!

This issue, i am starting a special segment dedicated each issue to a
different list member (or non list member), including a piece of writing
or a picture or something. I have 3 more all ready for the next 3 issues
(or on their way), but start submitting your stuff and it might get
featured at some point. This first one is an interview with list member
Casandra K. Heres what happond:
----------------------
1. Where did you get your name?

my name is a greek name and there is a whole big myth behind it.
cassandra was a mortal and zeus had the hots for her. they made a deal
that she would sleep with him and in exchange he would give her the gift
of
seeing into the future. but she went back on the deal because she didn't
want to anymore. by this time she already had the gift of prophecy so
instead of taking that gift away zeus gave her the curse of never being
believed. So she went on to fortell the fall of troy and such and no one
believed her. so if you ever see cassandra in a greek play she will be
telling the truth and no one on stage will believe her.

2. If you have a choice between seeing Back To The Future or Ghost
Busters, which would you choose? Why?

i would rather see ghost busters than back to the future any day because
bill murray is way cooler that michal j fox.

3. Where are you from ORIGIONALY? Why did you move to where you are now?

i was born in boston but i have lived in foxboro (home of the patriots,
yuck) all my life. so i have never moved from the house i live in now.
though i almost moved to a couple of different places. these include
buffalo, ny; minneapolis, minnesota; and sydney, australia. these near
moves were all because my father was offered jobs there. (he teaches
psychology at colleges)

4. Where do you want to go to college?

i have no idea were i want to go to college. preferably somewhere that
has a good english dept, art dept, and theater dept.

5. What do you want to major in?

i want to major in english or creative writing or something like that.

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?

i want to be a writer when i grow up, maybe a playwrite. i love theater.

7. If you could say anything to list member Jen H. right now, what would
you say?

if i could say anything to list member jen h. right now it would be:
"who the hell are you? do i know you? i don't think i do."

8. How many times have you eaten a hamburger? Why?

i have eaten a hamburger many, many times but not in the last five
years i haven't. i used to love hamburgers and i ate them all my life.
but i have reformed and now i don't eat meat at all.

9. What were your comments on the last report card you got from a
history class?

i went and found my last report card to answer this one. it was very
hard for it was buried far far away. it says:
"Congratulations on a job well done. You are a superb student of
history. Your oral history reflected your mastery of the material
presented in this course and your skills as a writer and interviewer. You
should be very proud of you accomplishments. Have a wonderful summer."

10. Were you pleased with these comments?

these comments are fine. it was an easy class and i've always done
the best in history especially with Mr. michel.

11. How would you like to die? Why?

i have narrowed it down to three tops ways i would like to die.
1. in my sleep. this for sure must be at the top of the list for
anybody's ways to die. it's simple and sure not to hurt.
2. od on heroin. seems like an interesting way to die. the
problem
being i would have to try for a long time to find tainted heroin.
3. jumping off a building, cliff, plane. seems exciting. never
a
dull
moment.
all of these things would be when i was old and going to die anyway.

12. If this came true, what would you want on your Tombstone?

i'm not going to have a tombstone, i'm going to be cremated. but if i
did it would only say
cassandra

13. Do you have any superstitions? If so, what are they?

i don't have any superstitions. but i still follow some theater ones
before shows, like don't say good luck or mention macbeth. you know, just
in case.

14. What is your favorite book? Why?

i have four favorites in random order
1. on the road by jack kerouac
2. slaughter house five by kurt vonnegut
3. clockwork orange by anthony burgess
4. night by elie wiesel
i like these books simply because they are too cool. i think these guys
are awesome writers and i respect them. they are just amazing.

15. Who did you like the best: Calvin's Mom, Calvin's Dad, Mrs.
Wormwood or the baby sitter? Why?

i don't really like any of them as much as hobbes but i guess calvin's dad
because he's an idiot.
----------------------------

Also, as i promised, here is how to avoid using aol, from a guest
contributor:

Go to www.shareware.com for lots of shareware like you can find with AOL.
also, rather than finding updates to popular companies software in AOL's
libraries, you can go to the actual website for that company for more
than just software updates... you can also you IRC for chat rooms (i like
this better than AOLs rooms) download Ircle for mac that is the best
program in my opinion for IRC.
- Toulon

and letters ( i got A LOT this week, but i am only doing 2):

List Member Emmanuel S. of Polio, Vaccine writes:
I heard that they can regrow people's foreskins now with skin grafts.
Will this service be available to women? Secondly, why do you look like
Jesus? Does Lakshyan?
Love,
Emmanuel

Dear Emmanuel,
well, i don't have an answer for the first one, but i went to other
people about the other 2. List member Nate D. replies to the first one:
"i think the most jesus like thing about you is the holes in your jeans...







GET IT????? HOLY!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYAYHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYAYHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYAYHAHAHHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYAYHA
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AYAYHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAYAYHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAanyway, yeh
-nated"
For the 2nd one, i went to list member Emily S. She wrote back the
following:
"No, Emmanuel's dad does not look like Jesus. For one, his beard is too
short and not white and stringy enough. He also (so far as I know)
doesn't make a habit of wearing un-comfy thorns about his head. His face
is shorter and rounder that Jesus' was (or so I've heard). Having no real
evidence of what Jesus looked like, I guess that you could say that
Emmanuel's dad looked like Jesus and get away with it, but I don't think
he does. Besides, Jesus wasn't a psychiatrist. And isn't Emmanuel's
family Jewish? Well, never mind, cause Jesus was Jewish, too. (Isn't that
strange?) Emmanuel's dad hasn't started a whole new religion by himself,
to date. If he does, please let me know, for it will surely be
interesting. Lastly, but not leastly, Emmanuel's dad hasn't risen from
the dead, so he does not resemble Jesus.
:)
emily*"
So there you go emmanuel, i hope that helps. I hope other people can
help answetr the question about foreskins.
Love,
Ben

And a 2nd letter comes from list member Eric L. of Steamed, Dumpling.
This letter will be responded to with
>>>Triple quotes for a letter from Nate D.
>>double quotes for the last news letter
>single quotes for eric
and no quotes for me. This letter has been slightly shortened (sorry
eric, i left in the important stuff)

>>Subject: This Ain't No Disco
>Do you realize that that's a line from a Depeche Mode song?
>That's cool!
Actualy, eric, i took that from the song Life Durring Wartime by the
Talking Heads. Can you spot this week's subject? Do we get the same
answer this time?
>> I would suggest yu all get a FREE email account at www.hotmail.com for
>>starters.
>
>Or netaddress.usa.net. Or www.rocketmail.com. Or...okay, I'll shut up
>now.
>
>>>-hanson
>>but they are so cute!! and their jewish!
>Michael Bolton's cute, and he's jewish, but he still sucks.
I will argue that michel bolton is not cute and there for does still
suck, however, i WOULD see him in concert if given a chance.
>>I like the song You Oughta Know, thats about it.
>>>-boyz to men
>>you dissen Motown Philly?
>Well, if he won't, I will.
Dude, that ain't cool.
>>>-jewel
>>i like jewel
>"Foolish Games" is really cool. Everything else I've heard is just
>so-so.
I think jewel is pretty good. But lets face it, her lyrics are horrable.
>>>-marilyn manson
>>Although i dont like the song very much, or the band, i think they have
>>more talent than they are credited for. I think they are good at
>>arranging. How many bands like this have a middle 8?
>He would make a better philosopher or political activist than he would a
>musician.
Maybe he'd be better as a member of black sabbeth? All the rumors around
manson and ozzie are the same, though i guess ozzie's hold more truth.
But ozzie did good music, manson's is not so good.
>>-EVERYBODY!!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MADONNA??????? Please let me know.
>I think she's got some good stuff! It really moves you or pumps you up
>or something like that. The only complaint is that Bedtime Stories
>sucks.
I've never herd that album, but i love the album "I'm Brethless".
(theres nothing like a good spanky)
>>this name and email adress are NOT for sale
>>I charge $50 for every comercial email I recieve
>can you have an email that is for sale?
Yes. Companies sell your email adress and then send you shitty mail.
This email adress gets no junk email, nor does my internet adress. Pretty
impressive, eh?? all my other aol names get way to much, along with my
old internet adress, even if i don't use them.

Anyways, thats about it for this letter, keep sending things in, next
letter will be out maybe friday or the weekend. See yall later.

Exactly my point,
Carne De Vaca


Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
---------------------------------------------
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
---------------------------------------------
©1997 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com