9. 6-17-97
the Sam Hallowell mailling list
Hello, everybody. I am sening out my news letter, AGAIN!!! I am pleased to announce that Wednesday is less than 3 hours away. Here is an update as to what has happond since I sent out sunday's news letter.

- My drum teacher is helping me nail down the swing, so I will never loose it no matter what i'm doing with the reast of my body.

- my dad fucked up my record player

- my records came in the mail, including Aerosmith's Pump and an autographed Milli Vanilli record.

- I was able to get my record player working again, but i'm still gonna pretend it doesn't in the hopes I can get a new record player

- my bass teacher is on vacation for a while

- I skipped my music theory class yesterday

- the record player don't sound to great now cause my dad fucked up the needle which we just replaced so unless I get a new player, I have to wait 6 more months to get a new needle

- List member Mike M. went to the prom last night with Lindsy Laxon, but never took me out after words like they promised

- I have published a list of all my records at http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee/rehkids.html

- I am eating popcorn

- My old web pages which I had to take down when I switched adresses are now back up, though I still have to work out a few bugs. Go to http://www.tiac.net/users/yahtzee

- I hope that list member Laura S. likes my structure. eh?

- List member Martha P. went to london

- List member Tara Something fainted the other day while trying to hang a picture in the bathroom. That's when she came up with the idea for the Flux Capasitor, which is what makes time travel possable.

- I was very sirprised today to open up the life beat section of the newspaper. After reading the headline "Class of '97: Four outstanding graduates", I found that list member Val H. was number 3. WAY TO GO VAL!!!!

- List member Mister T. is a fool

- List member Phaea C. of Foxwoods, Casino writes:

Dear Sir,
is your band good? Do you need a groppie? i am really good and being
obsessive. Can we have some lirics
Love Phaea C. of Foxwoods, Casino

- Dear Phaea,
We are not as good as your band. You can be a groupie if you want, but all we really want is money, so if you send that we will be happy. Or at least I will, don't tell the other members, ok? I have posted lyrics at the bottom.

- Dear BEn,
Do you go to the Dentist often? ARe you fascinated by Dentistry? I am.
I also like little boys.
~ Michael Jackson of RJ, Heim

- Dear Michael,
Actualy, my dentist is a little boy. I am not fascinatrd by dentistry, but I am fascinated by little boys. Maybe we can hook up some time, get back to me.

- Send your questions to the instructions bellow.

- List member Bruno Morethanks is always talking crap. Never lissen to him, everything that comes out of his mouth is just a load of shit.

- Here are the lyrics to a song I wrote called "Magic Fingers." It is my atempt to be sinatra, so imagine frank sinatra singing it. Some of you have read it all ready, but I have changed a line or 2 since.

With my finger tips
I create magic

With my finger tips
I create magic

With a twinkle of my nose
I turn an apple to a rose

And with the twinkle in your eye
I know you are mine

With my finger tips
I create magic

With my finger tips
I create magic

With a clicking of my heal
I make a wooden boy real

And with a magical feeling in my heart
I know you are mine

With my finger tips
I create magic

With my finger tips
I create magic

With my finger tips
I can turn taters into chips
I can turn boats into ships
but when I know you are mine
I just want to do flips
only magic that i need

With your finger tips
You create magic

And when i kiss your gental lips
I feel like magic

- Till next time, I am out of milk.

That song ended up on Sonnets Set To Music. If you notice, the line "taters into chips" isn't on the album version. Bruno Morethanks is a character i made out of my ass. His name kind of ends up saying "Brew No More, Thanks." Why shouldn't you brew more??? Because that will give him diarhea. Well, I forgot about this, and its kind of dumb any ways. So a few years later when I wrote a song about Bruno, I called him Bruno Brown. Its his first name that's important.

Thank you for reading this issue of tha Lance Romañce Mailing List. To subscribe, send an email to tendonitus@giantrats.com with the word "Subside" in the subject. For back issues, and just more entertainment, visit www.GiantRats.com.
comercial use or mass emails using the names and/or email addresses of subscribers to this mailing list is strictly forbidden
©1997 Lance Romañce All Rights Reserved
this mailing is anti-dave mathews
email: tendonitus@giantrats.com
website: http://www.giantrats.com