Bruno Brown's Funky-Ass Beat
I used take imrov classes at a local theater company called the All Children's Theater. One of the improvisational games we played was called characters, where the audience would come up with something for each performer to talk about and then I would have to come up with a character and deliver an improvised monologue on what ever topic the audience game me. We went through two rounds of this so we each would have to come up with two monologues by two different characters. We were in a rehersal just before we were going to do a demonstration for some people and their parents who were looking to join the theater company. Any hoo, the topic I was to talk about i think was hair or hair brushes. This was probably in 1996 or so, maybe 95, so I don't remember everything exactly. Any hoo, we went through one round, and I'm sure I came up with something amusing.

While waiting for your turn, we were all faced back words I think. While waiting for my second turn, I came up with a great idea which I thought was one of the best ideas I ever had. I probably proclaimed "oh! i got the best idea!" or something like that. When my turn came, I went up all excited because I had such a good idea. I then turned around and bent over and started opening and closing my ass with my hands as I said "hi I'm bruno" in a high micky mouse like voice. I went on like what i was doing wasn't unusual, but in my head I was very confused by the fact that no one was laughing. I was bent over in a way so that I couldn't see any one, but the fact that people weren't in hysterics mystified me.

My friend Carl said "we were just in shock." I guess it lasted, because Carl never let me forget theis character. I later gave him the last name Morethanks, so it would sound like "Brew No More, Thanks."

One day in the spring of 2000, I was sitting in my parents kitchen late late one night at my parents home, where I was living at the time. I was trying to think of what I should write my new song about and then I started thinking about carl reminding me about when I came up with bruno, and how other people who werent there knew who bruno was, as they had been told. I thought all those people would find it amusing, so I wrote the song.

When I origionaly wrote the song, I just wrote it pretty much as it appears below. I just wrote Lance's lyrics for the first part of the song. I loved these lyrics. As I often do, I decided to wait till i was recording to come up with a chorus. I decided insted to have Bruno rap. I totaly forgot that Bruno had a Micky Mouse sort of voice. I wanted kind of a sleazy voice, I thought of the guy named Bob on the TV show Becker. Though it doesn't sound like him, that's the idea, and the voice is higher because I figured my ass would have a higher voice. Except for the lyrics written below, all thelyrics were pretty much improvised.

The hit you hear on this track is taken from "Stick 'Em" by the Fat Boys.

Let me tell you bout bruno brown
the kind of guy you don't want hangin around
you can't trust bruno no not one bit
cause everything that comes out of his mouth is a load of shit

brunos always talking crap
if he talks crap to you just give him a slap
brunos got breath like soild panty hose
my cock n balls serve as brunos eyes n nose

let me tell you bout bruno brown
the kind of guy you don't want hangin around
bruno burps when i pass gas
cause ladies and gentalmen bruno is my ass