Yernal, Yernal (My Love Is Astounding)

I wrote this song at age 16 in the spring of 1996. One shcool day while taking a leak, it occcured to me what a brilliant contraption the urinal is. Who ever invented it was brilliant. I decided that when I have my own house some day, I would put a urinal in the bath room. Maybe even on the bed room! I also wondered about girls and what they thought about urinals. Do they really understand what they do??? Do they realise how wonderful they are?? Do they wish they could use it or do they not care???

It eventualy occored to me that no one had ever written a love song for a urinal before. At this, i decided to take it upon myself to write one. It was a relatively easy song to write, I wrote it quick and was pleased. The lyrics never changed a bit.

That year for english, i had a teacher who was mildly femanist and rather traditional. She got pregnet though, and for the last quarter that year she went on sabatical and was replaced by a slightly sleazier new guy. About a week or so after I wrote Yernal, Yernal, the new guy told us our homework would be to write a poem. Not feeling like doing the asignment, I just turned in Yernal, Yernal. I got real excited when he decided to have people read the poems they wrote aloud. All the guys in the classs loved it. However, the girls in this class were very similer to the lady teacher we had earlier, and they all were absolutly disgusted and apauled. The teacher collected the poems so he could grade them on a simple check/check plus/check minus grading system. I got a check.

I always had a tough time decideding what kind of music to set this to. When making the album, I knew I definately knew i wanted to have a bosa nova number, but wasn't sure what song. Then it occored to me: yernal, yernal!!!! Its not authentic Bossa Nova, but I thought it was at the time.

At the end of the middle section, I do a chromatic climb on the bass, but end early and go back to the bass line. This was because i thought people would find that annoying. It was in the first handful of songs I had recorded, and was stillnot expecting people to likeit much, so I just went backto the normal bass line. Over the years, that bass line has changed slightly.
The turn around in the bass line was accidental, but was frequently pointed to as one of the most clever musical bits on the record. Sam from Apollo Sunshine would laugh and say "That's genious." I took me for ever to even notice it, and he said "We'll if it wasn't on purpose then its not genious." Heh.

Upon preparing album, I changed the spelling to Urinal, Urinal, which i was told was the correct spelling. Before this i had never seen, let a lone written the word urinal.

This song has been particularly popular among old me.


YERNAL, YERNAL (my love is astounding)
ben garber
english
spring ‘96

Yernal
Yernal

why are you so wonderful?

Yernal
Yernal

your remind me of a water fall

Yernal
Yernal

you are so much fun

why pea at home when i can run down the street to the resteraunt with the

Yernal
Yernal

Yernal
Yernal

you make me want to pea all day

Yernal
Yernal

life with out you is not ok

Yernal
Yernal

no more piss on the floor

you can open the door cause no one will see past the magical walls of the

Yernal
Yernal

Yernal
Yernal

you help relieve my stress

i’ve used the toilet i confess

but now i feel regrets

for getting the seat all wet

oh, Yernal
Yernal

no more taking shits for me

Yernal
Yernal

you’ve changed my life now don’t you see

Yernal
Yernal

you are where my dick belongs

Yernal
Yernal

no more toilets from now on